Losing your memory
by TheLittle MissVixen
Summary: A woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets' Everyone thinks Elena Gilbert leads a perfect life but one by one the demons from her past are showing…and she would realize that love isn't a bond you can break easily
1. My own being

__Disclaimer: I own none of the characters from 'The Vampire Diaries' You all know who the credit goes. __

__So this is a new story and I really hope you can enjoy it :) Not so much to say excep that I would really like to know what you think about it.__

__Thanks to **Delena's Differential Equation** for correcting this for me __

Also you can check my tumblr account to check on some art for this story : www(dot)cosmogirl3(dot)tumblr(dot)com

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><p>'<em>My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods: time will change it, I'm well aware, as winter changes the trees. <em>

_My love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath: a source of little visible delight, but necessary. _

_I __am __Heathcliff! He's always, always in my mind: not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself, but as my own being. '_

**Wuthering Heights –Emily Bronte-**

**.**

"And now I would like to make an announcement" Giuseppe said with a smile on his face. Nothing could have made him happier in that moment, finally his favorite son was getting married, the moment he had waited for his entire life had arrived. Stefan, his younger son, was going to marry a wonderful woman; beautiful, smart and talented but above all things she loved him.

How he wished his other son, Damon, was capable of finding someone like that, but no, his son still was dead set on be the eternal stud; a womanizer. It wasn't like he expected so much from him, the only thing Damon had done his entire life was disappoint him and of course a woman like Elena could never love his elder son.

"As you know my son Stefan has been dating the beautiful Miss Gilbert for two years" The couple just smiled at each other. Stefan looked a little embarrassed because as usual his father thought he could handle everything in his son's life, it was his wedding announcement, and he was the one who should be doing it.

"Well I'm proud to share this moment with you. My son and the beautiful woman next to him are finally getting married"

The young lovers shared a small kiss and the congratulations were heard all over the salon, everyone was so happy that the couple finally decided to unite their lives. Stefan and Elena had been dating for the last year and they looked so happy and in love that the marriage was what everyone was expecting from their relationship.

But not everyone was happy with the news, Damon was watching them from his seat, he didn't even bother in congratulate them, he just order himself another glass of whiskey and sat there, admiring the one thing he could never have.

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><p>It had been a long and stressful day, in all honesty the party was a little overwhelming to Elena, everyone there just wanted a piece of her life and she was sure she was never going to get used to the type of life Stefan's family leaded.<p>

An on top of that she felt his stare the entire night, it was one the most powerful things she had ever experienced, so right now she was exhausted, the only thing on her mind was getting a warm and relaxing bath.

But apparently life had other plans, the moment she reached his apartment floor she saw Damon standing in her doorway. His hair messy, his eyes red and his clothes were a completely mess. Thanks god she convinced Stefan that she could get to her house safely, she didn't know how she would have explained to him that his brother was standing on her doorstep.

"Damon what are you doing here?" Elena asked with annoyance in her voice, she didn't feel like dealing with this right now

"Why?" Damon whispered softly with such sadness in his eyes that it made Elena's heart ache

"Why what?"

"Why are you going to marry him?" Elena looked at the floor and then she gestured to him to move so she could insert the key in the lock

"Because I love him" She said still not looking at him while she opened the door "And I don't think it is time for this, so you have to go"

But Damon wasn't planning on leaving, so he walked past her and simply stepped into her apartment

"Damon please, you're drunk, you don't want to do this now." She pleaded with him, her big brown eyes staring at him

"No! I'm not leaving until you tell me why? Why him and not me? What makes him so much better than me?" Tears threatened to fall from his eyes and Elena just couldn't help it, she walked towards him and hugged him tightly, he held to her as if letting her go would mean to face the true death

"Please don't do this now" Her voice muffled against his chest

"Shh please, just let me" Damon took her face between his hands and caressed her cheek lightly; he leaned to her and pressed his lips softly to hers. Elena responded to his kiss eagerly and tangled her hands in his dark raven hair, their bodies pressed together. They stood like that for a few minutes just enjoying their closeness until Damon broke the kiss.

"See? How can you deny what we have? What's been there for so long?" He said with desperation in his voice "How can you give up to this?"

"Because it's wrong! Because it has been wrong all along" She shouted at him, her own eyes glistening with tears

"Why? 10 years ago the thought of marrying my brother hadn't even crossed your mind. And yet you still weren't ready to give in" He answered roughly to her

"Are you seriously accusing me that?" She answered with sarcasm in her voice "You know that the only one guilty of that is you! I gave you everything Damon-" Her voice broke and tiny sobs starting to wrack her body. Damon took her in his arms once again and kissed her forehead softly "I loved you and you didn't care… you just used me…when you were alone… but you never cared about me" She clutched his shirt hardly and sobbed against his chest

"You know that's not true. I love you and I loved you from the first moment I saw you" He said sweetly to her, he smelled like alcohol and leather and she inhaled him deeply, gathering the smell in her memory.

She shook her head softly "I don't believe you and it doesn't matter anymore" She pulled away and gave him a defiant look "I'm with Stefan and he makes me happy"

Elena walked towards the door and opened widely "Can you leave now? I'm tired"

Damon walked towards the door and gave her a hard look "I'm leaving but this isn't over Elena. You would never be his… you belong to me. What we have is love, and that is forever"

With one last look at her he left the apartment and when Elena closed the door she collapsed on the floor.

Damon's visit brought memories she refused to remember, old wounds that still felt fresh on her skin, marks she has never going to be able to erase and it still amazed her the effect the man had on her.

'I loved you with all my soul Damon Salvatore' She said in a soft whisperer while the tears flowed from her eyes '…and with that same strength I hated you'

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><p>Next day Elena woke up around nine o'clock. After crying so long she eventually had fallen asleep on the ground next to the door, she heard her phone buzzing and immediately went to the table and answer it.<p>

"Elena! Thanks god you answered. I've been trying to reach you for the last 30 minutes" Her best friend Caroline chatted excitedly over the phone

"I was asleep, Care. What's going on?" She answered with a sleepy voice

"What do you mean what's going on? Did you forget? We were having breakfast together remember?" Caroline said offended at the idea that her friend forgetting their date

"No I didn't forget. I'm just a little late. Let me take a shower and I'll meet you ok?"

"What if I pick you up instead?" Caroline with a small smile on her lips

"Ok, then I better hurry" The brunette said and hung up the phone

Elena took the quickest shower in her whole life and got dressed in record time. She was wearing a pair of tight jeans and a strapless white top. Caroline as always was beyond beautiful; she was wearing a strapless dress in a light lilac color and some huge stilettos, her perfect curls falling graciously over her shoulders

They arrived to the 'Mystic Grill' the place where the usually hung out and even when it killed her Caroline had to be happy for her friend so she showed her excitement at the news.

"Well show me" She said with a bright smile on her face

"Show you what, Caroline?" Elena said smiling back at her, yes, going out with Caroline was exactly what she needed; this girl could always make her forget all of her problems

"The ring, you dork. You're finally going to be Elena Salvatore" Her best friend said with a note of pride on her voice

In that moment Elena looked down and her expression changed completely, she always dreamed about being Elena Salvatore but she always pictured herself married to the other brother. Caroline sensed immediately that something was wrong with her friend.

"Elena what's wrong? The blonde girl said with a note of concern on her voice "You know you can tell me anything…We've been friends since kindergarten" She took Elena's hands trough the table and smiled softly at her

"It's just…Damon came to see me last night Caroline and I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. How can I marry Stefan when all I want is to hold Damon and never let go of him" Her watery eyes looked down and Caroline felt so much empathy for her friend "I can't do this anymore, Stefan is a good man. He doesn't deserve this"

"Elena the truth is I don't know what to say" Caroline's warm eyes looked at her "You know I'm a hopelessly romantic and I always loved the fairytales where the couple breaks apart and then years later they are reunited and the prince steals the girl in the wedding and they live happily ever after" Caroline said with a dreamy expression on her face and Elena couldn't help but smile at her "But this isn't a fairytale and Damon is not a prince either"

"And I'm not a princess" Elena interrupt her while tears fell down her cheeks

"Hush, of course you are a princess" Her friend said smiling at her "And well you never told me the complete story…about what happened with Damon" The blonde girl took a deep breath and continued talking "Now you know I really like Stefan and he's a great guy, but if Damon's the one you want I know he can make you happy…because you love him"

"No, what I had with Damon is over. I could never be happy with him" Elena said with a conflicted expression on her face "You're right…this isn't a fairytale and have to face reality" She gave Caroline a determinate look "My future is with Stefan, he can make me happy and I have to do my best to make him happy. Starting with getting Damon out of my mind"

Caroline only nodded while she listened her best friend. She was tired of seeing Elena always sad and suffering, yes she was happy with Stefan but there had been years since she saw her friend's eyes sparkle.

Caroline wasn't Damon's biggest fan but she knew that even when the evidence proved the contrary he would never hurt Elena, he loved her. And she was scared, that was all. She didn't want Damon to hurt her again. The blonde girl didn't know the whole story but she was going to find out, that way she wasn't to able to help Elena, the fact was she was a hopelessly romantic and she wasn't going to stop until she got the happy ending for this fairytale.

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><p>The phone woke her up around 2:00 am, after her breakfast with Caroline they went shopping and she spent the rest of the afternoon at her house, she was on vacation and she needed a rest from all the emotional charge she had at this moment.<p>

"Hello" She answered with a groggy voice and rubbed her eyes with one of her hands

"Ms, Gilbert so sorry to bother you I know that your job doesn't cover these things, but he wants to see you" The soft voice of the woman In the other side of the phone said "Apparently he had a bad dream and he's pretty upset…we told him you couldn't come but he refuses to calm down until you get here"

"Don't worry Beth I'll be there in 20 minutes" Elena said and hung up the phone before going to change.

She loved being a social worker, it was her own personal way to help people and even in these inconvent times she wouldn't' change her profession for anything in the world.

As she promised she was in the orphanage 20 minutes later, after she spoke to Beth Johnson the woman in charge they let her go to one of the bedrooms that housed around ten kids. The minute she walked in, she spotted him sitting on the bed with his knees against his chest,

"Hey" She said in a whisper doing her best to not wake the other kids "What's wrong, buddy?" She took a seat next to him in the bed and removed a blonde hair from his forehead

"I was scared" The little eight-year old said in a croaked voice

"Of what?" She said sweetly to him and he abruptly hugged her and started crying against her shoulder

"I dreamt that you forgot about me…" His voice was muffled against her "…once you're married you're going to stop visiting me" He lifted his head and his blue eyes looked at her brokenly

"Julian that's never going to happen" She stroked his cheek softly wiping the few tears that had gathered there "I'm never going to forget about you" She hugged him tightly once again while stroking his hair softly

She couldn't' understand it but she had a deep connection with the kid, over the last three years since she started working with the children she always got attached to one of them but none of them connected to her the way Julian did.

She wanted to protect him, to take care of him, she couldn't understand how could be so many kids without a home in the world, how a mother could abandon her own blood.

So many times she wanted to speak to Stefan about the idea of adopting Julian once they were married but she was scared of it, she knew he wanted children of his own and wasn't sure how he was going to react at the idea of taking care of a kid that wasn't his.

"Promise?" The child said in a soft voice

"Promise" She gave him a small smile and lay him down on the bed once again, he smiled back at her and let her tuck him into the covers "Now how about I sing a song to you"

"Yes" He said a little too loud with a big smile on his face

"Ok" Elena laughed softly "But let's keep it down, we don't want to wake up the other kids"

Elena smiled softly at him and he closed his eyes, his long eyelashes resting against his cheek

'_Hey Jude, don't make it bad  
>Take a sad song and make it better<br>Remember to let her into your heart  
>then you can start to make it better'<em>

'_And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain  
>don't carry the world upon your shoulders<br>for well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool  
>by making his world a little colder'<em>

Once Julian was asleep she kissed his forehead softly and looked at his sleeping form for a few minutes before she left the room.


	2. There are miracles

_Thanks a lot to everyone who's reading this, it seriously means the world to me. I wanted to leave you guys with a new chapter before New Year so here it is and Im going to answer your reviews personally, I hope you're enjoyin this as much as I am. Here is still 2011 so Happy New Year everyone ! :)_

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><p><em>W<em>hen you run away from harm

Would you run back into my arms?

Like you did when you were young

Will you come back to me?

And I will hold you tightly

When the hurting kicks in

Life is beautiful

But It's complicated we barely make it

We don't need to understand

There are miracles

**Life is beautiful –Vega 4-**

**.**

_**July 10, 2002**_

_This was going to be a beyond boring, summer with their parents' friends? That was beyond ridiculous. What was she supposed to do with that people? She was 16 not 46 and how the hell did Jeremy manage to stay with Jenna while she was shipped on this trip to hell._

_She had never even met them, sure she knew they lived in Mystic Falls as well but she had never seen them in her whole life and now she was going to their vacation house, her parents were really trying to torture her._

_After a three hour trip they arrived at a beautiful house in a lake, wait not a house, the damn thing was a mansion, it was absolutely stunning. Big windows, beautiful wooden walls and trees surrounding them everywhere, this house was something else. But even so she didn't want to be here._

_As they walked closer to the house she spotted four figures standing in the porch as if they were waiting for them to arrive. There was a beautiful blonde woman around her forties, a dark haired man who looked imposing, the coldness of his eyes sent shivers through her spine, then there was a boy around her age, sandy brown hair and warm green eyes she liked immediately and then a little more behind them stood the most beautiful man she ever saw, yes beautiful was the word._

_His expression was bored, as if he didn't want to be there any more than she did. His hair was dark and a little long, falling graciously on his forehead but what caught her attention the most were those beautiful blue eyes he had, you could easily be lost in his stare. _

_As if he could feel her observing him he turned his head and fixed his eyes on hers, Elena felt her entire body heat up under his stare and the blush quickly appeared on her cheeks, fortunately nobody seemed to notice this, nobody except but the man with blue eyes of course, he gave her a lopsided grin and walked towards his family._

_Elena turned her attention to her father who was now giving a strong embrace to the man of the hard eyes and her mother was with the blonde woman._

"_Sweet heart come on let us introduce you" Her mother call her and she smiled and walked towards them_

"_This is my daughter Elena, the jewel of the family" John said to the other man and Elena blushed under her father's words._

"_Well, well, the famous Elena Gilbert, your father doesn't stop talking about you" The man said and hugger her tightly "I'm Giuseppe Salvatore and this is my wife Karen" He said pointing to the blonde woman next to him_

"_Nice to meet you Elena" The woman said with a small smile and hugged her as well_

"_And this boy over here is my younger son Stefan" He pointed to the green eyed boy and he just waved his hand at her obviously embarrassed and she couldn't help but notice the roll of eyes the other guy gave him_

"_And this is my eldest son Damon. Who I expect to take over my business someday" The man with the cerulean eyes got close and Elena felt her legs starting to tremble because of the closeness, he took her hand and kissed her softly "Nice to meet you Ms. Gilbert" _

_Elena blushed once again and she hated her damn blood cells for doing this to her right now, she just smiled shyly at him and fixed her attention on her parents who once again were oblivious to her reactions._

"_Come on inside and we'll show you your rooms" Giuseppe Salvatore said and guided them inside the house_

_Damon immediately took hold of her suitcase and lifted it from the ground "Don't worry I can do it" She said almost too quickly but he only looked at her and gave her a beautiful smirk_

"_But what kind of host I would be if I let you do that?" He said charmingly and she only nodded and smiled at him while they walked together towards the house. Maybe this wasn't going to be such a bad summer._

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><p>The past week had been much harder than what she thought it'd be. With the wedding in March this getting real for her and she didn't know if this was the right thing to do after all. She loved Stefan, she really did, he made her feel like she was home and safe and those were things she hadn't felt in a while but even so it was impossible for her to ignore the consuming need she had for Damon.<p>

She loved Stefan but Damon was the love of her life, and a part of her would always be his. She had loved him since the first time she laid eyes on him and even now when she hated him the love for him was still intact.

She inhaled the scent of the cup of coffee she was holding and closed her eyes briefly, she could still feel his soft lips pressed against hers and his strong arms holding her, how in the world was she going to marry Stefan when she couldn't get Damon out of her head. She was going to hell for this, this wasn't fair for him.

"Hello gorgeous" Stefan appeared from behind her and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek

"Oh Stefan you scared me" She said with a small smile "How did you get in?"

"The spare key underneath the rug" He answered nonchalantly, sitting on the chair opposite hers at the table

"Want some coffee?" Elena asked coyly while he took hold of both of her hands and kissed them softly

"No thanks" He smiled sweetly at her "Actually I'm coming to kidnap you"

"What?" She answered with a teasing smile

"Yep, we're having a picnic at my secret place" He winked at her "You're going to love it"

"Oh yeah?" She quirked her perfect puckered eyebrow at him

"I promise, cutie"

"Oh but you have to bring me home by 5 pm. I promised Caroline that we would go check out wedding dresses tonight" Elena said while she took a salty cracker and bit into it

"Oh I can imagine how beautiful you are going to look" Stefan said with a dreamy expression on his face

"You don't know that. Maybe I'll buy an ugly dress" She teased him

"Even if you were only wearing a sheet you would be beautiful" He answered with a sweet smile on his face "Actually that's a good idea" He said with a wicked smile

"You perv" She threw him a piece of her cracker which landed in his hair

"Hey do you have idea how much time it takes for me to do my hair" He said trying to take out the food of his hair

"Ok that sounded totally gay" She answered laughing

"It did, right?" He answered laughing as hard as she "Oh don't ever tell Damon about this… he wouldn't let me live"

Elena stopped laughing immediately at the mention of the older Salvatore's name but Stefan seemed to be oblivious to the fact, sometimes she wondered if he really didn't know anything that happened between his brother and her of if he just refused to acknowledge it.

"Uhm so if you're going to kidnap me aren't we supposed to be leaving by now?" Elena said changing the subject completely, she just didn't want to hear **his **name again

"Yeah yeah, let's go, _princess_" He said getting up from his chair and walking towards the door

The words felt so wrong coming out of Stefan's mouth and she hated that fact. It shouldn't be wrong for him to call her that, she was his after all. But Damon used to call her princess; she was _**his princess**_, only his.

Elena cursed herself silently while she walked towards the door. She had to stop thinking about him, those blue eyes couldn't keep haunting her, he was the past and it should be buried along with her dreams and that piece of her soul she lost so many years ago. Her life was good now and she had to move on, she couldn't stay stuck in the past.

Stefan took hold of her hand and they walked to the elevator, he was her life now and she was going to make him happy.

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><p>Caroline rested her head against the edge of her tub, the water was warm but not hot and there were vanilla scented candles surrounding her. She closed her eyes briefly and took a deep breath doing her best to relax.<p>

She didn't understand her feelings and she didn't like them either, Elena was her friend, her best friend, they been friends since kindergarten and she would die for the girl but the feeling she got every time she saw her with Stefan was killing her.

Since the moment her eyes first fell upon him she had fallen in love, with his gentleness, his good looks, his voice, his sweetness, he was the perfect man in so many ways, but she wasn't stupid and from the first moment she saw him, she realized that he was madly in love with Elena. The way he looked at her said more than anything, she wished he looked like that at her.

In fact it was really incredible that it had taken so long for Elena to realize that Stefan was in love with her, of course the brunette's mind was always on the older brother.

That was something else that was bothering the hell out of her, Elena still loved Damon she knew that, she could see it in the way she acted around him, and they didn't even notice it but they moved in synchrony, they were like electrons attracting each other.

Caroline Forbes was in love with Stefan Salvatore but she decided to give up on that dream a long time ago, the only thing she wanted was for him to be happy, but how was he going to be happy if the person who's going to become his wife is in love with someone else? The blonde girl hated being in this position, what was she supposed to do?

Elena was her best friend so she couldn't just go to Stefan and say everything she knew because that would hurt her friend, but then Stefan was the man she loved and he was going to make the biggest mistake of his life and she was letting him. And if she helped Elena to get back with Damon again Stefan would be hurt in the process, so there was no win for anybody in any situation.

How in the world had everything gotten so messy, Caroline knew that if this wedding happened there was going to be pain everywhere but if she stopped it, there would be equal amount of hurt and she couldn't help but think that a selfish part of her wanted to break off that wedding for her own benefit, but she couldn't be blind about it, Stefan would never look at her the way she wanted so if he got married to Elena or not her fate would be without the man she loved.

But she couldn't let Elena to have the same fate as her, her friend loved the reckless, cocky, first class jerk of Damon Salvatore and yes he wasn't probably the choice she would make for her friend but she loved him and he loved her back so she would bring them back together. Starting with having a talk with a certain blue eyed man, he may be the man Elena loved but that didn't mean she was going to let him hurt her friend.

She smiled to herself and she started rubbing a sponge against her arms, this had to work out after all she was a hell of a planner.

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><p><em><strong>August 2, 2002<strong>_

"_So why does your brother always stay in his bedroom?" She asked as she sat on the shore of thelake, her legs submerged on the water while he swam graciously _

_He stopped in his tracks and his jaw clenched before looking at her "I believe he gets intimidated by you, he's kind of shy and doesn't feel comfortable with strangers" He started swimming back to her "But don't you prefer spending time with me?" He said seductively and stroked her bare legs_

"_You know I do" She answered with a smile and he put his hands on each side of her lifting himself to give her a light kiss on the lips_

"_Do you think they know?" She asked with her lip between her teeth an action that turned Damon on like nothing else_

"_I doubt it" He said stroking her feet underneath the water "If my father knew we would be miles away from each other now. He doesn't think I'm good enough" Damon said with an edge of bitterness on his voice_

"_Hey that's not true" She leaned to him and stroked his cheek softly_

"_What do you think your mother would think?" Elena asked while she played with a strand of her hair another habit that Damon loved about her_

"_She's not my mother" He asked in a hard tone. Sophia Lorett Salvatore was his mother, the most amazing woman in the face of the earth, big heart and beautiful eyes and she was dead and that stuck up woman leaving in his house did nothing but offend his mother memory._

"_You know what I mean" Elena said softly, in the little time she had shared with him she learned that talking about his mother was difficult for Damon so she decided not to push it_

"_I couldn't care less what she thinks" He said while taking hold of her legs "I just don't want them to separate you from me" He said looking deeply at her and Elena could feel her heart melt at his words_

"_They won't" She said and smiled sweetly at him he smiled back at her and pulled her to him, throwing her into the water "What the hell?" She said while removing her hair from her face_

"_I thought it was time for you to join me" He smiled and encircled her waist with his arms, his touch sending tingles all over her body "You're beautiful" He said before planting his lips on hers. His kiss was soft but demanding at the same time and she clung to him desperately, his tongue traced her lower lips again and again until she parted them and let him explore her mouth, his tongue danced around hers, consuming her._

_It was incredible how fast things had developed between them, it had been like a natural connection, Elena had never believed in love at first sight and that kind of stuff but right now this felt exactly like that. This had been the best three weeks of her life and it all was because of him, because the way he made her feel, she had never felt so alive, so complete._

_She didn't want this vacation to end, she was having the best moments of her life and the idea of leaving Damon behind was killing her. Sure they lived in the same city but she had the feeling that even though he said otherwise once they were in the city things would be back to normal and he would forget all about her._

_Her thoughts were interrupted by Damon's erection pressing against her belly and she couldn't help but moan against his mouth. She never had gotten that far with a boy before; if Caroline could see her right now she would be proud, especially because it was with a guy four years older than her. Damon was consuming her and right now all she wanted was be possessed by him, she may be young and they'd only known each other for three weeks but she was ready, she could feel it. She was going to lose her virginity to Damon Salvatore._

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><p>"So all the adoption papers are on order, we just need them to sign here and everything would be done" Elena said handing Beth a red folder<p>

"Jenny is really going" The older woman said with a hard sigh and melancholy in her eyes

"It's always hard when they leave" Elena said leaning against the hall next to Beth

"But the thing we have to remember is that she's going to be happier now, she's going to have a real family" Her lips curving into a smile

"Yes it is, you get used to them" Beth said while checking the papers Elena left on her desk "I wonder what you're going to do if someone finally adopts Julian" The woman looked at her straight in the eyes

"I never thought about that" She stated honestly while absently playing with a strand of her hair

How would she feel if a family took him away, it was a selfish thought but she didn't want the boy to be away from her, he had become in a really important part of her life and the thought of being away from him really overwhelmed her.

"Lena you came!" The loud yell of the kid brought her out of her thoughts

"Hey there handsome" She said kneeling onto the floor to hold him properly

"Come on I need to talk to you, it's really important" He said with a serious expression and Elena couldn't help but laugh at him

She got up and looked at Beth who just smiled at her, then she took hold of Julian tiny hand and walked towards one of the empty salons in the place

"What's up honey" She asked while sitting down on a green chair that was just too small for her

"I have a situation" He said with preoccupied eyes and for a moment Elena thought this was actually bad

"What is it?" She asked concerned and took hold of his hand under the tiny kid's table

"It's Lily, I need to know what to do to make her like me" He answered as if he was planning the year's bigger robbery

"Oh" Elena said and started to laugh but stopped when she saw the offended look on the kid's eyes "Uhm let's see" She said clearing her throat

Julian looked at her intently waiting for his answer "You know Julian I really suck at this, I have no idea what to say to you" She said with a frown on her forehead

"But I can help you" Damon's hard voice sounded from behind and for a moment Elena thought she was dreaming

"Who are you?" Julian asked with questioning eyes

"I'm a friend of Elena" He said taking a seat in one of the chairs next to Elena "I'm Damon Salvatore"

"Oh, you're Stefan's brother?" The kid asked looking intently at Damon

"Exactly" He answered with a grin

"Sorry, but I don't see the resemblance" Julian declared seriously "I like you more" He smiled at Damon

"Julian!" Elena gave him a hard look

"Oh leave him, he's just being honest" Damon said and winked at the little boy "I like you already, kiddo"

"So will you help me?" The kid said with a big smile full of hope on his face

"Of course but first tell me about this Lily girl, is she pretty?"

"Damon she's an eight year old kid" Elena said rolling her eyes at him

"So?" Damon answered with a shrug

"Yes, she's pretty, the prettiest girl ever" Julian answered with a dreamy face

"Oh those ones are the hardest to get" Damon said looking at Elena and she couldn't help but blush under his stare, sometimes she just didn't understand how the man still had that effect on her.

"First of all don't let her know your into her, that's the worst mistake ever" Damon explained as Julian observed him with attention "treat her like a princess one day but then at the next just ignore her completely-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa that's the stupidest advice you could ever give him" Elena said with a roll of her eyes "How is she suppose to know that he likes her if he treats her bad" She scolded at him

"That's the whole point Ms Smart. If she knows she has him under her power then its game over"

"Oh really?" She said sarcastically while unconsciously getting closer to him

"Yes, its text book, you can't let the other person know how much you care about them or they would crush you" Damon said looking intently into her brown eyes

"No that's just ridiculous" She spited at him "When you love someone you have to let them know it, you have to give them everything even though in the end they would crush you because they are insensitive jerks" Elena shouted angrily at Damon's face while Julian just observed the battering between them

"Oh really? Well you should know that-"

"Ok, so let me get this straight" Julian's voice interrupted both of them and they turned to look at the little kid talking "You love her but didn't let her know because you didn't want her to crush you?" He said looking at Damon "…and you love him too but he crushed you in his attempt of not getting crushed?" He said pointing out at Elena "Oh god the love thing is harder than I thought"

"Kid are you sure you're only eight?" Damon asked as he looked with a shocked expression at the kid sitting in front of him

"Absolutely" He said with a big smile, showing his teeth "And you two need to fix this before the wedding Lena" He said pointing the two of them "Or it's going to be a really messy event" The two adults just looked at each other without any words to come out of their mouths

"And thank you so much I already know what I **don't** want to do about Lily" Julian said before getting up and giving Elena a kiss on the cheek "See you later Lena, Damon it was really nice to meet you" He said smiling at the older man and running out the room

"Are you sure he's eight?" Damon asked at Elena with the same expression he had earlier

"Yeah, it's just sometimes he's a little ahead of his age"

"Just a little" Damon said sarcastically

* * *

><p><em>Please let me know what you think :)<em>


	3. Nothing's bigger than love

Hi :) Im back with a new chapte and I really like how this one turned out so I hope you guys can enjoy it. Im still trying to get over the shock of last weeks kiss, wasn't it perfect? And Im really excited about this week episode, so happy that were finally gettin our Delena's moment.

Well I hope you let me know what you think about the chapter and a huge thank you to everyone who read, comments and send alerts on this. Also thanks to **Delena's Differential Equation** for being a great beta.

By the way, Im picturing Julian as 'Jackson Brundage' who plays 'Jamie Scott' on One Tree Hill and if you don't know him you can check pictures of him in my tumblr account :**_ www(dot)cosmogirl3(dot)tumblr(dot)com_**

* * *

><p>Some people change and some just won't<br>You can't take back the words you wish you'd never said  
>Promises break and lovers will lie<br>You hold up your hands and let out a sigh  
>So smile right before you fall<br>And lay beside this mess and call it consequence  
>Somebody said that life isn't fair<p>

When somebody else was saying a prayer

If there's a hole in your heart you gotta pull it together  
>It takes the courage to start. But now is better than never<br>It takes a push and a shove. Somehow it's never enough  
>And it's alarming how quick you could forget that<br>Nothing's bigger than love

**Bigger than love –My favorite highway- **

**.**

_**August 4, 2002**_

_Elena looked herself in the mirror and smiled widely, she would make sure to thank Caroline later for forcing her to take those Victoria's secrets outfits she buy undercover from her mother. She was wearing a pink baby doll, the fabric so transparent that you could see the matching panties she was wearing, contorts and straps were black and the outfit totally made her breast look fuller._

_She applied some channel on her and brushed her long curls before applying some cherry gloss and wrapped herself in a fuchsia silk robe. _

_She opened the door carefully trying not to wake Stefan who was sleeping in the room next to hers all while thanking god that her parents and the Salvatore's had gone to dinner in the town so her only concern was Stefan waking up. She walked quietly until she found Damon's door and stepped in slowly._

_His eyes were closed but she knew he wasn't sleeping, his body was resting on top of the covers and was wearing nothing but blue pajama bottoms, she stepped at the bottom of the bed and saw him open his eyes, he gave her a smirk and his breathing stopped as she undid the tie of the robe._

_When the material touched the floor Damon's eyes nearly popped out of his head at the image of the girl in front of him._

"_Elena what are you doing?" His voice was hoarse while his eyes roamed shamefully over her body, his cock making himself notice_

"_I just want to be with you" Elena said in a whisper and climbed into the bed straddling him_

_Damon's heart started beating furiously against his chest and he just couldn't understand why, during his young life he had been with countless women but with none of them felt what he was feeling right now, not even when he was a fifteen year old virgin._

_His member was throbbing hardly in his pants at the feel of the heat meaning from her body did nothing but ignite his desire for her, he had never seen something so beautiful than her in this moment and all he wanted to do was to touch her, to feel her skin against his._

_She started kissing his neck while her center rubbed dangerously against his erection earning a hiss from his part_

"_Elena, what-?" He found himself lost for words when she sucked his earlobe in her mouth_

"_Damon I just want to make you feel good" She whispered wetly against his ear_

"_Oh you're doing an awesome job at it" He purred while she kissed his jaw and felt her smile against his skin_

_He took hold of her hips and kissed her hardly, letting his tongue swept into her warm mouth, tasting everything about her, his hands cupped her bottom and she clanged to his biceps needing support, the things she was feeling were completely new for her and her head was already spinning._

_He turned them around so she was now pressed against his mattress and he started attacking hungrily her neck making sure of not leaving a patch of skin without attention. His right hand started caressing her breasts and she couldn't help but moan at loud, and as his other hand touched her core trough her panties he felt her started trembling in his arms_

"_Elena wait" He said trough gritted teeth doing his best in focusing on the things he wanted to say_

"_I did something wrong?" Elena asked with her eyes full of shame_

"_Of course you didn't beautiful" He told her soothingly and caressed her cheek lightly "But I just want to make sure that you want this" He rolled of her and lay down beside her in the bed_

"_I do Damon" She said with security but he could hear the doubt in her voice_

"_You know we don't have to do anything Lena. Im not asking you anything" He positioned himself to rest on his side so he was able to look at her and pulled a dark curl out of her forehead_

"_You don't want me?" She said and her voice cracked, he could see the tears forming in her eyes and his heart broke at the sight_

"_Of course I want you" He took hold of her arm and drag her to lay in his chest "You have no idea of how much I want this. But I don't want you to rush into this or that you do it for the wrong reasons" He caressed her hair softly _

"_It's just-" She took a deep breath and lift her head to look at him "We only have two weeks here and when you go back to town-" The tears started slipping out of her eyes _

"_When I go back to town what?" He said in a serious voice and took hold of her chin forcing her took look at him_

"_You're going to realize that Im nothing for you and you're going to forget about me" She closed her eyes while tears keep falling_

"_You are really dumb if you think that" He said before kissing her forehead "Elena look at me" She opened her eyes slowly and felt mesmerize when she look into her deep blue ones _

_"You are so perfect for me…and I could never forget about you" He kissed her lips softly "I don't want to make love to you because you think you need to do that to keep me I want to do it because you it's the same thing you want and because you're ready for it" _

_Elena couldn't help the warm feeling that spread in her stomach at Damon's words, he was definitely the most amazing man he had ever met and in that moment she realized that what she felt for him was true love._

"_Thank you" She said in a strained whisper _

"_You're welcome princess" He said before giving her a kiss in the top of her head and stroking his hair lightly, lulling her to sleep_

* * *

><p>"So may I see him?"<p>

"I don't know sir, the other kids are going to start getting jealous because he gets so much attention" The woman in the desk said with annoyance in her voice

"Please" Damon said with an edge of exasperation on his voice

"I'll go for him" The elder got up from the chair and walked towards a big hallway

He took a seat and waited patiently until ten minutes later he saw the kid running towards him

"You're Lena's friend" Julian said looking at him cautiously

"Yes I am" He said getting up from the chair and smiling broadly

"And why are you here?"

"Well kiddo I came here to talk to you"

"Figure that much but why?" He said eying him suspiciously

"I still can't believe you're only eight" Damon said with disbelief in his voice "Ok here's the thing I need your help"

"For what?" Julian said and took a seat in one of the chairs in the office

"I need to get Elena back" He took a seat in the chair next to the one the kid occupied

"And you need me to help you for that?" The blonde boy asked a little too loud

"Well if I came here to see you is for that don't you think?" He shouted back and then felt stupid for arguing with an eight year old

"But I don't get it. How could I help you?"

Damn this was going to be hard and he wasn't even sure this was a good idea, using a little boy to get her back seemed low and he even felt bad about it. But he knew the kid was going to be able to melt Elena's heart and well he wasn't going to 'use him' completely, he just needed a little help.

"Well you're all cutie and Lena loves you" Damon stated "Im sure you can convince her to be with me, you know asking her to take you out and inviting me" He said while picturing it in his head, it was going to be great

"And why should I help you?" The kid said while swigging his legs on the chair

"Because I know you care about her and I no one loves her more than me, I promise you" He said suddenly getting to serious "She's my entire world and I know I made mistakes in the past but I can make it work now, I can make her happy and I have no idea why Im having this conversation with a kid but Im desperate" His voice showing the despair he was feeling and even when Julian was still to young he understood the situation and knew that what Damon was telling was the truth "I just can't let her marry my brother"

"I know that, she's not in love with him" The sympathetic eyes of the kid looked at him

"Her face doesn't lit up when she sees him. I like Stefan but he's just not the one for her" He said in a soft voice

"Do you think I am?" He asked with doubt in his voice

"I do. Even when she was fighting her eyes were lit up with you yesterday"

"Im not sure about anything anymore" He looked down and rubbed his sweaty hands in his jeans

"Well I've known her for three years already and I want her to be happy more than anything in the world" The blond boy said with determination on his voice "I would have like to have a mom like her" The kid said with sadness in his voice, the one thing he wanted in this world was a family and sometimes at nights he dreamed that Elena was his mom that way she could tuck him into the bed and sing songs to him every night

"I miss my mom too" Damon said in a croaked voice and looked at the little kid next to him

"What happened to her?"

"She died when I was ten years old" Tears were treating to fall from his eyes and he felt stupid for being about to cry with an eight year old boy

"Im sorry" Julian put his hand on top of Damon's and his blue eyes looked at him with compassion

Damon's felt his heart sank at the kid's words and squeezed his hand lightly, a little boy who had no one in the world, who never got know her parents was telling him he was sorry for him, who despite losing his mother still had people in the world who cared about him.

In that moment he made the decision that despite wanting to win Elena back he was going to take care of this kid, not because he pitted him but because he show him comfort without knowing him and because he had no one and he knew what it was to feel alone in the world.

"So what if we go for some ice cream on the weekend" He asked while ruffling the kid's hair "The lady over there say that if you can go out on weekends if a trustful and responsible person takes care of you" He saw the excitement grow in Julian's eyes "and I happen to be a responsible and trustful guy"

"Can Lena come?" He asked with a big smile "I decided that Im going to help you"

"She can come if you want to" He laughed quietly "So weekend then?"

"Sure" Julian said with a big smile that showed all of his teeth

Now he got why Elena was so captivated by the kid, there was something about him that made you want to protect him and Damon wasn't a children person he blamed for that at his father, his childhood had been awful because of him and when his mother died only turned worse, his biggest fear was to become like him so he always stayed away from kids. But there was something special about Julian, the kid probably had the whole orphanage eating out his palm. Damon was sure they were going to become great friends and yes he may get Elena back in the process

* * *

><p><em><strong>August 6, 2002<strong>_

_Elena walked in the garden just to find her parents drinking coffee in one of the benches the Salvatore's had next to a huge fountain._

"_Good morning, have you guys talked to you Jeremy?" She said while she took a seat on the grass facing them_

"_Yes, he's pretty good you know having a blast with Jenna" Isobel said with annoyance in her voice, she never like Jenna maybe it had something to do with the fact that she was at some level involved with John, a relationship Elena never wanted to know about "I don't even know why your father let him stay with her, she's not even family" _

"_She's like family, her sister is married to my brother" John said a little exasperate, he hated his wife jealousy towards Jenna_

"_Ok since the moods are a little sour here I'll be better get going" Elena said and started to get up_

"_Elena wait, your mother and I want to talk to you about something" John said in a serious voice what forced Elena to remain in her exact same spot in the grass_

"_Your father and I feel like is not appropriate for you to spend so much time with Damon Salvatore" Her mother said looking straight into her eyes_

"_Well we are living in his house who Im suppose to be with?" Elena said with annoyance, suddenly getting angry for her parents stupid request._

"_Well I don't know Stefan maybe" John said simply_

"_Stefan hardly leaves his bedroom" Elena answered with a roll of her eyes "Do you guys have something against Damon?"_

"_It's not that sweetheart, it's just well he doesn't have the best reputation in town" Isobel crossed her legs and gave an apologetic smile to Elena "Even his father knows it, he also thinks you should be more with Stefan"_

"_Well I don't like Stefan, I like spending time with Damon" She blurted out "And anyway what do I care about his reputation? Im not marrying him, he's just a friend" She said and stood up, that was a completely lie, Damon and her were more than friends and the idea of being away from him was unbearable but her parents weren't going to know that_

"_Because he may hurt you Elena" John answered in an angry tone "And he's older than you it's not proper for you to see him"_

"_But dad-"_

"_But nothing Elena, you are not allowed to be with the guy anymore at least you're surrounded by other people" The expression of his face was sober_

"_That's just stupid" She lifted her chin and gave his father a defiant look "You can't forbid me anything"_

"_Of course I can, Im your father and you're going to do what I say"_

"_Mom you know this is ridiculous" Elena tried to reason with her mother but she only gave her an remorseful look_

_"Im sorry but Im sticking with your father on this one Lena"_

_Her eyes were burning from the tears that wanted to slip out of her eyes but she wasn't going to let her father see that._

"_Fine" She said trough gritted teeth and walked towards the house, knowing that was a deal she wasn't going to make. As long Damon wanted her next to him she wasn't going anywhere._

* * *

><p>"I swear to god that I just can't visit one more store" Elena said to her best friend while she sipped her fresh lemonade<p>

"Oh dear god you're so dramatic, we've only been to five stores" Caroline answered with a roll of her eyes

"Yes but I try like 10 dresses in each one" Elena said and flipped through the menu of the restaurant they were eating

"Well it's not my fault that you're so picky and don't like anything" Her friend said and stacked her tongue out at her

"It's just none of them felt right" Elena said laughing softly "Hey Caroline isn't that Tyler Lockwood" She said and fixed her gaze on the door of the place where the brunette man was entering

Caroline turned her head and looked at her now ex-boyfriend walking into the restaurant and quickly returned her head to were Elena was staring her with a confused expression

"What's wrong?" She asked with a frown "Aren't you two dating?"

"Not anymore" Caroline asked bluntly

"What? And you didn't tell me anything sweetie?" Elena asked a little hurt that her best friend hadn't tell her something that important

"Well it's just you have so much in your head right now, you know the wedding and Damon and all that I didn't mean to overwhelm you" Caroline answered apologetically and then the waiter approach them

Once the waiter was left Elena turned her attention back to her best friend and smile softly

"Caroline no matter what's in my head I'll always have time for you"

"Thanks Lena I know" Caroline said looking down. She felt like the worse friend in the entire world, she still kept thing for Elena because her secret was bigger than everything, she was in love with her friend fiancée and that was just wrong, Elena could never found out about it

"So why did you guys broke up?" The brunette girl asked

"Thing weren't like before…you know…I" Caroline blurted out not knowing what to say

"Caroline Forbes are you in love with someone else?" Elena asked suddenly excited

"No, of course not" The blond girl answered nervously and in that moment she hated the fact that Elena Gilbert could read her like a book

"Yes you are" She said with a huge smile on her face "Come on tell me who is it?" She chipped excitedly

"Is it nobody" She locked a strand of blond hair behind her ear "Seriously, is nothing" She said hopping that she would quiet with the subject already

"Ok then" Elena said softly dropping the subject. If Caroline didn't wanted to talk about it right now she was going to respect it, she would come around when she was ready.

Few minutes later the waiter came back with their order and they ate while chatting about the details of the wedding and Elena was completely oblivious to the fact that every word was hurting Caroline to her very core.

After they finished eating they left the restaurant and were walking through the halls of the mall when Elena spotted a nuptial store they hadn't visit yet and got close to the window where she saw the most amazing wedding dress she ever lay eyes on.

It had princess cut but it wasn't too flashy, the top part was cut in a heart shape and thing straps were holding it to the mannequin, and if you got close enough you could see little brilliant incrustations. It was a dress worth of a princess.

"You like it?" Caroline said with a bright smile while approaching her

She didn't like it, she loved it but for some reason it felt wrong to marry Stefan in that dress. Elena knew that Damon would have love that dress and that thought stopped her for buying it. She hated herself more than anything in that moment because she should be looking for something that made her look beautiful in Stefan's eyes but she wasn't going to buy it because she only wanted to be beautiful trough Damon's.

"No, it's just to cheesy" She lied the best she could "We'll keep looking" She walked past the store and Caroline just stood there admiring the dress and knowing exactly what was going through her friend's head. She really needed to do something to fix this mess.


	4. SuperDuper cute

Im back :) First of all I just hate hiatus... don't yoou agree? I can't wait to see new VD episodes but while that happens Im leting you guys with a new chapter on my story. Really hope you like this one and please please review :)

By the way I invite you to chek out my new story **'Lie to me'**

Thanks a lot to **Delena's Differential Equation** for correcting this for me, as usual :D And to everyone who's reading this, you can't imagine how grateful I am

* * *

><p>I've been searching for a girl that's just like you<p>

Cuz I know that your heart is true

Baby I love you I never want to let you go

The more I think about the more I want to let you know

That everything you do Is super duper cute

And I can't stand it

**Can't stand it –Never shout never-**

**.**

**.**

"I have no idea how you convinced me to come to this" Elena snorted while she looked through the window in the passenger seat of Damon's car

"Oh come on Lena look how happy he is" Damon said pointed out the kid in the backseat who was looking through the window as well, only he had a bright smile on his face

"Yeah he is" Elena said in a whisper

Twenty minutes later they arrived at 'Luke's' according to Damon they had the best ice cream in all America plus it had a lot of fun stuff for kids, his mom used to take him there when he was Julian's age. And it was the first place Elena and he visited together in Mystic Falls.

"So what flavor do you want?" Damon asked Julian while getting up from the table they were sitting at

"I want chocolate and strawberry" The kid said with a big smile

"Let me guess you want Cookies 'n Cream" He raised a brow and looked at Elena

"You never forget" She said with a small smile while biting her lip unconsciously

"I'll be right back" Damon said smiling and walked to the counter. Elena stared at him while he walked away, she was sure that there was nothing more beautiful that Damon Salvatore

"You like him right?" Julian asked Elena the minute he realized she was staring at him

"What? Of course not. I have boyfriend. Remember" She said nervously

"Right" Julian looked at her with an amused expression "I like him and I think he fits you better than Stefan"

"Fits me better?" Elena looked at him an raised a brow

"Yep" He emphasised the 'p' as Damon always did "You look better when you're around him"

"Ok, you're totally crazy" Elena said and shocked her head lightly

"No I'm not, and you like him" Julian said with a mocking expression

"That's so not true" Elena fired back

"Yes it is" Julian said in a sing song voice

"Do not"

"Do too"

"Julian I'm telling you, I don't like him" She said to him seriously

"Yes, whatever you say" He said looking back at her with his innocent blue eyes

"It's the true, I'm being serious"

"And I believe you" He answered sarcastically

"Ugh you're so ugh" She said and stuck her tongue out at him

"You know you like him" He said a big smile

"Shh he's coming"

Damon got close to them and placed a big cup in front of Julian "Here you got kiddo" and then placed another one in front of Elena before sitting up and started eating his own ice cream

"Oh my god this is delicious" Julian said with wide eyes when he tasted the first bite

"Told you, they have the best ice cream here" He looked deeply at Elena and she looked back at him, both thinking about the same thing; the first time he took her there. Elena wondered if he brought them here on propose, wanting for her to remember their moments together.

"So how did you two met?" Julian asked between bites of his ice cream

"Umm we-"Elena tried to figure something out but ended up moving her spoon through her ice-cream

"Our parents are friends" Damon said with an amused expression at Elena's loss of words "So we've known each other for around 10 years"

"Wow that's a long time" Julian said with his mouth full of ice-cream

"Yes it is" Elena said in a whisper and looked down at her ice-cream

"So Julian you never told me how did it go with Lily" Damon said leaning casually against his chair

"I think I made progress" The kid said with a big smile and chocolate ice-cream running through her chin "We sat together at school yesterday" Elena took out a napkin and wiped her chin free

"Well that's great" Damon said with a big smile "You're going to have her eating out of your palm soon"

"Damon!" Elena gave him a murderous look

"What?" He shrugged

"Oh my god there's a climbing wall" Julian said excitedly and got up from his chair

"Come on you guys"

"Just wait for us a second and we'll be there in a minute" Elena said half laughing at Julian's excitement

"Ok" He chipped haply and ran to the game salon

"Why are you doing this Damon?" Elena asked him suspiciously

"Doing what?" He answered with a smile

"Bringing him for ice-cream, why are you being nice to Julian?"

"Honestly?" He said to her with a deep look

"Yes"

"I thought he would help me get you back" He stated honestly

"Damon-"

"But not anymore, you see I just want to be nice with the kid because someone has to be it, he's all alone and I know what is like to feel that way" His blue eyes were so sincere that Elena had no doubt that he was being honest "I just want him to have good memories to hold on to when things go bad" She hated her damn hormones, she was hyper emotional and was at the verge of crying because of Damon's confession

"I feel so sad for him, for all of them" Elena said looking down and Damon gave her a compassionate look "I can't imagine what is like to don't have a family, to be all alone" Her eyes were glistening with tears and Damon took hold of her hand "I mean I'm not judging anyone but I would never give up on my child, never. No matter the circumstances. I don't know how someone can do that"

"Maybe they have good reasons for giving up on their children" Damon looked at her with warm eyes "Not everyone is as brave as you are"

"I'm not brave, not at all" Elena said while a tear rolled down her cheek. If she was the brave person as Damon thought she would be in his arms right now instead of buying wedding dresses for her wedding with Stefan "And I really hope they have good reasons, because I hate seeing the sad look in their eyes when mother's day or father's day comes"

"But there's always someone who's willing to take them" Elena's eyes looked deeply at him "Family isn't always blood, is the people in your life who want you in theirs. Is the one who cares" In that moment Elena fell in love with him all over again, that was the Damon she learn to love, not the one he tried so hard to be

She wiped her eyes and gave him a smile "You're right and I think we had enough with the sad thoughts"

"Yeah I think we have enough for today" He gave her a reassuring smile "Let's go to see how high that wall is

Elena smiled back at him and they both walked to the game salon holding hands, she knew how wrong it was that but decided that just for today she would let herself be happy and remember how it was like when they were together. Just for today.

* * *

><p>"Caroline thank god you're here" Stefan said with relief filling him when he saw the blond girl entering the huge fitting room he was in<p>

"You know me if there's a fashion emergency I'm always ready" She said giving him her best smile "What do we have?"

"Well they showed me this one" He said showing her a grey Armani suit "But I don't really feel like it, grey's not my color. And they also handed me those two"

He showed Caroline the rest of the clothes the employees had given them, telling him it was the best they had and the blonde girl examined them closely.

"I'm not sure" She said scrunching her nose "Maybe we should look another store"

"Ok then, you're the expert" He said with a smile and Caroline left the room in order for him to change his clothes

They walked out of the store a few minutes later trying to find a new place were Stefan could find a decent tux

"So does Elena have her wedding dress yet?" Stefan asked with a cautious expression

"No matter how hard you try I'm not giving you any details" She said half laughing

"Well I had to try right?" He said with a big smile and punched her shoulder softly with his

"How about here?" The blonde girl motioned to one of the stores

"Sure"

Caroline picked a black Oscar de la renta suit that fit Stefan perfectly and she swore she never saw anything as beautiful as him. He looked stunning, his hair a little disheveled, his big boyish smile and his gorgeous green eyes staring at her through the mirror.

"So what do you think?" He said with hope in his voice

"I think this is the one" She smiled at him "You look amazing in this" She was able to see Stefan blushing and it surprised her but then Stefan was always so shy

"Do you think Elena would like it?"

"I think she's going to love it"

Caroline didn't know how much longer she was going to be able to keep with this, the idea of Elena getting married to Stefan was crushing but the thought of how much he was going to suffer when the truth about Damon and Elena came out was unbearable.

"Thank you Caroline" Stefan said sweetly.

"Oh, that was nothing you know how much I love shopping" She answered happily

"Not for that. For being my friend" He said taking hold of her hands "We've been through a lot in these couple years and I'm so lucky to have someone like you" His green eyes looked deeply at her and Caroline's heart started beating frantically in her chest

"You have nothing to thank me for Stef, you've been there for me too" She smiled at him and he took her into a tight hug

"Promise me that we'll always be friends" His voice was muffled against her hair

"No matter what" She answered, her eyes started glistening with tears

Stefan had absolutely no idea of what his words were doing to her, of how much they hurt and how much they healed. He was her one and true love but she would have to stay away from him, watching from the shadows. Never until that moment had she realized how much she and Damon had in common.

They were both destined to be away from the people they loved

* * *

><p>"So how was shopping with Caroline?" Elena said while putting the popcorn in a bowl<p>

"It was great, she's really good at this shopping thing" Stefan answered while putting the movie in the DVD "How was your day with Julian?"

"It was wonderful" She answered with a smile, drifting back to the amazing day she had with the little boy and Damon

"You really care about that kid right?" Stefan while taking a seat in the couch

"Yes, I do" Elena answered simply. For some reason she didn't feel like sharing her love for Julian with Stefan, she didn't feel comfortable. He just saw Julian as another abandoned kid, he couldn't see him the way she did, the way Damon did.

"Im glad you had fun"

"Yes, unfortunately after that I was stuck almost three hours in my uncle's house" Elena said with annoyance in her voice

"You really don't like Bobby?" Stefan said half laughing

"No, he's completely pretentious for an eight year old" She said rolling her eyes, her uncle's son Bobby was a completely nightmare and she hated every minute she spend with him, deep down that made her feel guilty because he just a kid but truth be told he was annoying as hell

"I don't get it, Miranda and Grayson are lovely people how come they raised such a conceited boy" Stefan said with a frown on his forehead

"I know, right?" Elena said glad that someone finally agree with her in that "They're the coolest people ever, I even like them more then my parents" She said sincerely and Stefan only laugher at this "I think maybe it is because he's an only child"

"Yeah that could be, and since your uncle and aunt couldn't have children they gave him all of their love"

"And make him a pretentious little brat" She said while spiking sauce on the popcorns

"Come here the movie already started" He said from the living room were the 'Life as we know it' was playing

"Coming" She picked up the bowl and walked towards the couch were Stefan was sitting

She snuggled against him, her face resting against his chest and the bowl resting between them, her eyes were glued to the screen but she was not paying attention at all at that moment she couldn't help but compare Stefan to Damon.

She thought about the words Julian had said earlier and realized he was right, she didn't fit with Stefan quiet as well as she did with Damon, she couldn't find a position that made her comfortable and that fact really disturbed her, because Stefan was going to be her husband, the man she was going to share the rest of her life but they didn't fit.

On the other hand when she was with Damon it was like the pieces of the puzzle were complete, she remembered how good it felt being with him. How her head could easily rest against his chest and how his arms adjusted perfectly to her petit form, how amazing it felt when he was moving inside of her. Because she belonged there, she belonged with him. And when they were together it was like if nothing could hurt her, nothing except him.

She couldn't keep having these thoughts, it was wrong and nothing good could come out of it, Damon hurt her more than anything and she was never going to be able to forget all that happened between them. So there was no use in comparing them, she was going to marry Stefan and her decision was final

"So are you going to miss me?" Stefan said while he played with her hair

"Uhh?" She said getting out of her trance

"You know because I'll be gone for the week" He said looking down at her

"Of course I'll miss you" She answered. She totally forgot that Stefan was going on a business trip for the week and she felt horrible for it, she had been forgetting about him lately.

"I'll miss you too sweetheart" He gave her a soft kiss in the lips and turned their attention to the screen were Josh Duhamel and Katherine Heighl were in a heated argument.

* * *

><p>"So Stefan left this morning right?" Caroline commented while they checked a scrapbook of invitations on Caroline's living room<p>

"Yes, he'll return Sunday night" Elena answered absently while looking at the book

Caroline lifted her eyes from the table and saw her best friend frowning. Since the minute she walked through the door Caroline noticed that there was something wrong with Elena, it was like is she was not really there

"Lena are you ok?" The blonde said with suspicious eyes

"Yes I'm perfectly fine" Elena said and pointed to a blue invitation with golden edges on it "How about this one, it's cute right?"

"Yes, it's beautiful but I'm not sure if it's your style" Caroline shrugged, blue wasn't one of Elena's favorite color, they all knew she was crazy about lilac

"Yeah but I know Stefan would love it" She said absently while changing the page

"That's why I said you two should doing this together" Caroline answered with a roll of her eyes and flipped the page "These are things that you have to chose together"}

"Uh huh" Her best friend answered

"Elena Adrianna Gilbert, are you going to tell me what the hell is wrong with you today?" Caroline said in an exasperate tone "It's like you haven't been paying attention to what I'm saying"

"Carrie" Elena let out a snort "It's just-"

"It's just what?"

"I'm late and I'm never late Caroline" Elena ran her hands trough her dark locks before speaking again "I think I'm pregnant"

"Oh" Were the only words coming out of the blonde's mouth. Caroline couldn't help but feel a twinge of pain in his heart at the thought of Elena having Stefan's baby "Do you want me to go buy a test?"

"No, I made an appointment with the doctor, it's in a few hours" She whispered

"Well we know then, I bet Stefan is going to be so excited about this" Caroline said making use of his best fake smile

"Yes he will" Elena said in a soft whisper

"Oh honey, don't cry, what's wrong?" Caroline said when she saw the tears coming out of her friend eyes

"Caroline I don't want to have a baby" She said covering her face with her hands "I mean not now, I don't feel ready for it"

"Elena you're the most ready person for the job, you're going to be a great mom" Caroline said sweetly and removed her hands from her face

"Not now, I DON'T want a baby!" One of Elena's biggest dreams was to become a mother someday but she didn't feel ready for it now, not when a lot of things were happening to her, not when the baby wasn't _his. _And she felt horrible for the thoughts going in her head but she couldn't help but feel the way she felt. She wanted to carry _his _child not Stefan's.

"It's going to be ok honey" Caroline got up from her chair and hugged her immediately

"Everything's going to be fine"


	5. Just forget the world

_New chapter yay! Really really hope you like this one I actually loved how it turned out so please let me what you think about it. Huge thanks to all of you reading this and sending reviews and alerts, it really means a lot to me. Im not doing any differences but an special thanks to **Angela76** and **Scarlett2112** because they're always there showing me support, so thanks a lot :) Also thanks to** Delena's Differential Equation** for being an awsome beta _

_Here we go, hope you like it and please review :)_

* * *

><p><em>All that I am<em>

_All that I ever was_

_Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see_

_I don't know where_

_Confused about how as well_

_Just know that these things will never change for us at all_

_If I lay here_

_If I just lay here_

_Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_

**Chasing Cars –Snow Patrol-**

**.**

**.**

"I need to talk to you" Caroline said in a firm voice as a she stepped into the apartment

"Yes, you can come in" Damon said in a sarcastic way and turned to look at her "What do you want Caroline?" He said with annoyance in his voice

"I need to talk to you about Elena" The mention of her name immediately caught Damon's attention so he motioned for her to sit on the couch of the living room

"And what do you want to talk about exactly?" He said sitting in front of her

"About what happened between you two" Her eyes looked at him fiercely "A long time ago"

Damon gave her a hard look, what right did this woman have to question him about his life? He had nothing against the blonde but the things that happened between them were not of her business

"Why don't we talk about your feelings for my brother?" He gave a smirk the minute he saw her reaction "I think it's a more entertaining subject"

"Wha-what are you talking about?" She stuttered out

Damon let out a small laugh, was she really trying to fool him? One of Damon's specialties was to read people and Caroline was an easy person in that field, the woman was head over heels for his baby brother and Stefan was just too stupid to notice

"Oh don't play dumb with me blondie you know what I'm talking about" She gave him an incredulous look and Damon couldn't help but laugh at her "You are _so_in love with my brother, correct me if I'm wrong"

"It's not like that" Caroline whispered looking down

"Then how is it Caroline? Because from where I'm sitting I can see we're not too different from each other" He gave her a sympathetic look "Since when?"

"Since forever" She whispered "Damon please you can't tell anyone" Her voice was filled with panic and he couldn't help but feel compassion for her

"Caroline why are you doing this? Why are you being the perfect friend for him, helping him buy tuxes and planning the wedding when all of this is eating you up inside" His blue eyes bored into hers

"For the same reason you stay close to Elena" He could see her eyes glistening with tears "Because being away from him only hurts more"

Never in his whole life had Damon expected to have something in common with the woman in front of him and quite frankly he always thought of Caroline as a shallow and empty woman but she was showing him a totally new side to him, she wasn't the woman he thought she was and didn't deserve the pain she was experiencing

"At least Elena knows how I feel" He said resting back in the couch "The burden is lighter but I won't deny that still hurts the same"

"Why are you two not together?" She changed the subject and of course Damon noticed this but suddenly he felt to urge to talk someone about what he was feeling and in this moment he found himself in sync with Caroline

"I honestly don't know" He answered simply "It wasn't supposed to be this way" His blue eyes were clouded with memories

"Do you love her?"

"You know I do" He said looking deeply at her "It's strange, I never believed in love until I met her and when I got it, I just let it slip out of my hands" He let out a chuckle "It's like life is taking everything I want, it had always been that way"

Caroline never thought that this vulnerable side of Damon Salvatore existed, in this moment he didn't look like the confident person he always was but this made him nicer to her eyes.

"Why did you guys break up? I don't get it?"

"She just walked away." Damon said with bitterness in his voice "I made mistakes, I'm not perfect and I was scared, I was so scared" His face showed a type of sadness that Caroline couldn't explain "And she just walked away from me" He covered his face with his hands trying to compose himself "She just fucking walked away on me"

"I know Elena and trust me I know she loves you" Damon's eyes showed distrust and Caroline couldn't help but smile, 'did he still doubt her love?' "She wouldn't just walk away from you without no reason…there's got to be some reason"

"Well then I don't know what it was"

"But you're here now; you want get her back after everything, why?" Caroline asked with defiance in her voice, she just needed to hear him say it so she was sure that helping them get back together was the right choice

"Because I can't live without her" He stated passionately "And I know you get it Caroline, because you know what is like to love someone so much it hurts, to feel complete when you're with them, to be one and feel nothing when you're apart, to feel like your heart is coming out of your chest with every kiss, every smile, every word she gives you" His voice was charged with emotion and his eyes were fiery "Because every day that I spent without her were hell for me and I refuse to keep living like that, I need her and she needs me, I want to live for her, I want to make her happy, I want to love her" His eyes pierced hers and Caroline felt shivers down her spine and all she saw in those blue orbs "Because I don't care what happened in the past I just care what's going to happen from now on, and I will get her back"

"Do it, do it Damon and don't waste any more time" Caroline told him sincerely, she wanted nothing more than see her best friend happy "I truly believe you two are meant to be and it's not because I want to break her and Stefan up because I know I have no chance, but because I know that you can make her happy" The sincerity in her eyes was evident and Damon felt a twinge of care for this girl started to rise in his heart

"And what about you Caroline? Aren't you going to tell Stefan how you feel?"He asked with true concern in his voice

"No, that would only mess things up, he can't know about it" A tear feel down her cheek

"You'll never now until you try Caroline"

"There's nothing to try Damon, he loves Elena" Damon could see how tired she was, how tired of struggling against her feelings

"Caroline you can't let life pass you by you have to do something and I'm not saying this because I want Elena for myself I'm saying it because I know what is like and no one deserves that kind of pain" The blonde girl knew he was telling the truth but she couldn't let that happen, she didn't wanted to mess her friendship with him

"But I can lose him, don't you realize?" She said to him with despair in her voice

"And what then? You're just going to live your whole life in the shadow? Worshiping something you can never have?" He said hardly at her "I'm not trying to be mean but I want you to realized that if you keep like this it's only going to be worse"

"I can't" Her voice barely a whisper

"You need to tell him and if he doesn't feel the same then you can move on" He spoke more kindly this time "You deserve to be happy"

"Everything would be so much easier if we had the chance to pick out our the ones we love right?" She said with sarcasm and rolled her eyes at him

"Yes, it would be. But I would still choose her" He said with conviction on his voice

* * *

><p><em><span>August 10, 2002<span>_

"_Elena are you sure about this?" Damon asked with trembling voice as the girl below him only nodded softly, he couldn't understand why we was feeling like this, he was more nervous than when he lost his own virginity_

_After the argument Elena had had with her parents Damon and she hadn't been able to see each other as before, John and Isobel had been next to Elena all the time preventing her for having an encounter with the elder Salvatore brother. But tonight was different, they had gone to a charity ball in the town and Damon said he was going to a party, so no one knew they were together._

_They were in the cabin across the lake, when Damon showed this to her she couldn't believe how huge this propriety was, and it was just a vacation house._

"_I'm completely sure Damon, I want you to be my first" She whispered against his lips and kissed him hard again_

_He just couldn't resist her, what this woman did to him was something completely new, he never felt so out of control, he was completely at her mercy, hell he would even jump off a bridge right now if she would ask him to._

_Her brown warm eyes looked at him and in that moment he knew he was lost, the girl had him wrapped around her finger and there was nothing that he could do. So he lowered his head once again and took her lips in a searing kiss, his hands caressing the skin of her thighs beneath her dress._

_Elena moaned in his mouth when she felt his erection pressing against her most intimate places and tangled her hands in his hair, enjoying the feel of her soft locks in her hands._

"_You have no idea what you do to me" He whispered against her neck as he felt her lock her legs around his waist_

"_Damon" She cooed while his right hand started rubbing her nipple trough the material of her dress_

_Her breath hitched the minute his mouth descended and the straps of her dress were lowered so he could have better access to her skin, his tongue lapped seductively around her nipple and Elena thanked god that they were far away from the main house because she just couldn't hold the sounds coming out her mouth._

_After giving loving treatment to both of her breast Damon lifted himself and finished removing his shirt tossing it behind him, Elena ran her eyes all over his naked torso and instinctively licked her lips, she just couldn't' wait to feel his skin against hers._

_Damon stepped off of the bed and removed his pants and his underwear and Elena's eyes almost popped out of her head at the sight of him, how was he going to fit inside her? He was huge. He saw the concern in her eyes and leaned down to her once again_

"_Everything's going to be fine" He said against her ear "I'm going to take care of you"_

_Elena felt his cock against her leg and her center ached for the contact but apparently Damon wasn't thinking of giving her that pleasure yet as he started kissing her neck once again_

"_I love how you smell, did I ever tell you that?" He whispered wetly against her ear_

"_No" Elena said with trembling words _

"_It's something so you, so unique. I love it" He looked at her and Elena was able to see the passion and the desire burning in them, never in her life had she seen something more beautiful_

_His expert hands started hitching her dress up until he was able to remove it completely from her body and throwing it behind him, the purple fabric joining his discarded pants. Elena felt herself blush from the way he was looking at her; his eyes were so hungry…_

"_You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen" He said sweetly and she smiled shyly at him. _

_He lowered his head and kissed her belly softly earning a giggle from her, he smiled against her skin and continued going down hocking his thumps in the lace of her panties and slowly sliding out of her. Once the fabric hit the floor he started kissing her legs lovingly and Elena thought she was in heaven because nothing could feel better than that._

_He kissed the inside of her thighs and inhaled deeply smelling the proof of her desire, his cook throbbing awfully immediately._

"_I want to taste you so bad" He said in a desperate tone "But I can't hold on anymore" _

_Elena couldn't respond, she couldn't for the life of her even remember her own name. The only thing consuming her brain was the raw need of have Damon inside of her_

_He took the condom that was resting in his night stand and gingerly rolled down his member as Elena watched enchanted the entire time_

"_Are you ready?" He asked positioning himself between her legs and pressing their foreheads together_

"_Yes" Was the only thing that could come out of her mouth_

"_If you want me to stop all you need to do is say it" _

_He gave her a long kiss and started pushing slowly, her pussy was dripping wet and the eyes rolled in his head at the feel. She let out a small whimper and Damon stopped immediately_

"_You ok?" He asked raggedly, her beautiful eyes looked at him and she nodded with her head._

_He felt her hymen break and kissed away the tear that left out her eye, he stood still for a few seconds letting her adjust to the size of him before he started moving_

_Her mouth found his again and their tongues started a seductive dance while her legs clasped behind his back urging him in, he lost control when her nails started scraping down his back_

"_Oh god Damon" The moans coming out of her mouth turned him on like nothing else and he started going faster, needing to reach the release that was waiting for him_

_Elena clenched her inner muscles squeezing his cock and Damon let out a low growl at this, his movements started being frantic and the only sound in the whole place was the flesh meeting flesh. _

"_You're perfect, so perfect" He murmured against her lips _

_Her hips rubbing hard against each other, their bodies damp with perspiration and their breathing ragged, nothing about that moment could have been more perfect for him, this was the memory he would hold in his mind forever_

"_All mine" He said while his thumb found her clitoris and started massaging it in slow circles_

"_Oh god, oh god Damon, Damon" Elena chanted his name like a prayer as she felt her orgasm getting closer_

"_Come for me angel, please come for me" He said breathlessly before kissing her and that did it for her, she clamped her legs even harder around his body as she arched against him when the first waves of her orgasm reached her_

"_Damon!" She cried out as she felt him grow harder inside her and knew he was experiencing oblivion as well_

_She clung to him as the waves of her climax started to subside and he started plating kisses all over her face_

"_You have no idea how perfect that was" He whispered sweetly against her ear_

"_I think I have a pretty good idea" She said with a smile still trying to catch her breath, his blue eyes looked at her with amazement_

_Damon rolled out of her and removed the condom throwing it in the garbage can next to the bed_

"_I don't want for this to ever stop" She said with fear on her voice_

"_It won't" He answered softly at her "Trust me"_

_She gave him a small smile and let herself be dragged to the center of his arms where he started petting her hair_

"_Go to sleep" He said lovingly_

"_But what if they come, I have to go to my own room" Her voice was a nervous and Damon smiled at that_

"_I'll wake you up when it's time, now go to sleep. Let me feel you in my arms, just for tonight" _

_She felt her heart melt at this words and closed her eyes slowly, the tiredness from their early activity already taking her in and as she drifted to sleep she felt his hands caressing her arms and she was able to hear him singing to her._

'_**You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.**_

_**You make me happy when skies are gray.**_

_**You'll never know dear how much I love you.**_

_**Please don't take my sunshine away'**_

* * *

><p>Elena's cheeks were tainted with tears and the sobs keep racking her tiny form as she walked through the long hallway that led to her apartment.<p>

When she saw Damon's form sitting in the floor, his back resting against the door she wiped her eyes immediately and pulled out the key of her purse.

"Lena are you ok?" Damon asked with worry in his voice

"Yes, Damon please I don't want to talk" She said looking down as Damon got up from the floor

"No, we need to talk" He stated seriously

"Damon please" She pleaded him while tears started to fall again "I need to be alone"

"Elena I'm not leaving you alone" He answered stubbornly "Not like this"

Elena opened the door of the apartment and stepped in throwing her purse into the floor and broke in a mess of cries. Almost immediately Damon's arms were surrounding her while she cried freely against his shirt

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" He asked sweetly while caressing her hair softly

"No" Elena shook her head violently

"Elena, how can I help you if you don't tell me?" Damon tried to reason with her

"You can't help me, no one can help me" She answered doggedly

"Angel, please"

"I don't want to talk about it Damon" He couldn't understand what was wrong with her, he had never seen her like this and all he wanted to do was help but she was making that impossible for him.

"Please, you can tell me anything" He whispered soothingly

"I'm late, and I'm never late" She whispered against his chest "I made an appointment with the doctor to find out if I was pregnant" Damon's jaw clenched immediately at her words, the idea that she could be bearing his brother's child was simply excruciating to him

"But I'm not" She said between sobs and Damon felt bad because he was relieved that she wasn't pregnant "Doctor said it was just stress"

"I'm sorry" Was his only answer

"Damon" She lifted her head and looked at him with broken eyes "I can't have kids"

In that moment Damon immediately regretted his earlier thoughts, the look on Elena's eyes was totally heart breaking and he knew how much she wanted to be a mom someday, how could something like that could be taken from her. She buried her head in his chest once again and held to him for dear life.

"Doctor said a developed a condition in the last few years…" Her voice muffled against his chest "And that even if I get pregnant my body won't hold the baby for too long"

"Elena you have no idea how sorry I am" He said softly while rubbing circles on her back soothingly "I wish there was something I can do" He said desperately

Damon just couldn't take seeing her so broken. He wanted to fix this for her but it was something way beyond his reach. He didn't know what to do to make her feel better.

"Nothing can be done Damon" She answered simply "And this is all my fault"

"Hey, hey" He took her chin and lifted her head so he could see her in the eyes "This is not your fault Elena, this is no one's fault"

"Yes it is Damon, god is punishing me" Tears racked down her cheeks as she spoke "When I thought I was pregnant I wished with every fiber of my being that it wasn't the case" Her eyes were lost in despair and Damon just couldn't handle it "I didn't wanted to have a baby, not right know, _not his baby_" Blue eyes looked at her with compassion

"Elena that doesn't mean that-"

"And I shouldn't have thought like that" She cut him with her own words "Because he's the man I'm marrying, he should have been the father of my children, but I didn't want that" Her eyes were read from all the crying as she looked at him "Because of you, because of how I love you and now-"Her voice broke down and Damon touched her cheek lightly

"Now I'm never going to be a mom"

"Angel that's not true" He said softly at her "You could adopt a baby"

"But Stefan wants a kid of his own and I can give that to him" She said with an edge on her voice "And I wanted to want that too, to give a child to him, but now…I'm never going to be able too"

"Well then he just has to learn how to love another kid as his own" He said with such passion on his voice that startled Elena "And if he can't then he's just not the one for you"

Her sore eyes looked at him with amazement and he was surprised to see her so small, she was always taut and fiery and now she just looked scared and sad and that was something he wasn't used to see. He wiped her eyes softly before speaking again

"Everything's going to be all right Elena, I promise you" He kissed her forehead lightly and started walking towards the living room

"Where are you going?" Elena asked with despair in her voice

"I'm going to call blondie" He said before lifting the phone from the coffee table "I don't want you to be alone tonight and figure you would like to be with her"

"No…"Her voice was barebelly audible but it was charged with anguish and worry so stopped Damon right on his tracks

She didn't wanted to be alone that was for sure but Caroline's company was not what she needed, the only thing that could make feel better right now was to have that beautiful man with blue eyes with her. He could always find the way of making her feel better, no matter what.

"Don't leave please Damon, I need you" Her brown eyes pleaded at him and Damon wasn't strong enough to resist them "Would you stay with me please?"

"If you jump I jump angel" He said getting closer to her "I'll do anything you want" He said before giving her a soft kiss on the lips with left Elena feeling butterflies in her stomach

"Can we just watch a movie and forget about everything?"

"Sure" He gave her a small smile and lifted her in his arms carrying her towards her bedroom where he placed her gently in the bed before going through her stack of movies where he picked up _"My best friend's wedding_" and put it on the DVD.

He lay down next to her on the bed and she moved to lay on his chest, feeling the difference, feeling how good her body fitted with his. In that moment she wanted that the time stopped so she could stay in this moment forever and just lay here with him.


	6. The sad songs ain't so sad

Quick update right? So please be good and review, yes? pretty pretty please? Hope you guys like this chapter, thanks a lot for being supportive.

Thanks a lot to** Delena's Differential Equation** for being an awsome beta

Here we go :)

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><p><em>You talk to him, and it burns me like the sun<em>  
><em>You talk to her, and you say that you feel like he's the one<em>  
><em>I talk to me, but you can't hear the pain I feel<em>  
><em>You don't know<em>

_Cause you gave me the best mixtape I have_  
><em>And even all the sad songs ain't so sad<em>  
><em>I only wish that there was more than that<em>  
><em>About me and you<em>

_**Mixtape–Butch Walker-**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**December 20, 2002**_

"_Oh my god Elena" Damon moaned loudly as Elena's warm mouth encircled softly his throbbing cock. They were in the backseat of his car, parking in the Falls. Which had ended up being one of their favorites spots to be together. Thanks god for the fog was surrounding the car so no one was able to spot their illicit activities _

"_Mmm" She purred and Damon thrown threw his head back marveling at the feeling, her wet tongue circled the tip and then proceeded to take all of him in her mouth._

_As he promised nothing had changed once they were back at in the town, he still looked at her with the same warm eyes and still made her feel like the only woman in on the face of the earth. But her parents were the ones making the situation difficult for them. They refused to let her be friends with the elder Salvatore boy, according to them that would give her a bad reputation, if only they knew what she was doing to him right now._

"_You drive me crazy you know that?" He said through gritted teeth while fisting her hair with his hands, Elena's eyes lift up at him and Damon almost came right there because of the way she was looking at him, without breaking the eye contact she took even more of him _

_"Oh my god, don't stop please" Damon closed his eyes briefly unable to keep staring at her because of the strong sensations she was giving to his body_

_They had been hiding since they came back; they knew that if their parents found out about them it would be the end of their relationship so they decided that the best was keeping it a secret, at least until Elena turned eighteen. But that little arrangement was killing Damon, he hated not being able to touch her in public, that all their kisses and looks were stolen and he hated the fact that no one knew that she belonged to him and that he would rip their heads off if they did anything to hurt her. _

_Damon opened his eyes to find Elena staring at him once again, her deep chocolate eyes were driving him over the edge and when she finally managed to deep throat him he lost it and came with a hard groan. Elena swallowed all of his seed greedily, at first she had thought the taste was weird and she didn't like it but over the weeks she started to found find impossible not to swallow, she actually enjoyed it very much._

"_You have no idea what you do to me princess" He said before kissing her hard on the lips, tasting himself in her mouth_

"_I do know, you do the same to me" She answered with a smile on her lips_

_She sat next to him while he zipped up his pants and then he pulled her to him, her back resting against his chest_

"_Do you wanna go already?" He said softly into her ear_

"_I don't want to, but they going to start to worry if I don't get go now" She said with sadness in her voice, she hated saying goodbye to him, hell if they let her she would be attached to him the whole day _

"_What did you say tell them to come here?" He asked and Elena could feel him smirking against her hair_

"_The usual, I was at Caroline's" _

"_And are you sure she can keep a secret?" Damon asked with distrust in his voice, it was of popular knowledge that Caroline Forbes was the apprentice of Gossip Girl_

"_Maybe not other people's secrets, but she's my best friend and trust me she would never say anything of about this….to anyone" Elena answered with conviction on her voice, she trusted Caroline more than anything in the world and the blonde girl knew how much this mattered to her so Elena was absolutely sure that she could keep this secret_

"_Ok then, you know her better than me" He said while petting her hair lovingly "I don't want you to go" He whined like a little boy and it made Elena laugh instantly_

"_And I don't wanna go, but life sucks like this" She took hold of his hand and intertwined their fingers together_

"_God Elena I want to be able to say to the world that you are mine, that you choose me" He said with and edge of desperation on his voice_

"_I know baby, I want that to, but just give me more time, please" She said with a hint of plea in her voice, her biggest fear was that Damon would got get tired of this situation and decided that she was not worth it, Elena knew that she wouldn't survive if he left her, she loved him too much._

"_For you I would wait a life time princess" He said sweetly and kissed her cheek softly _

_She smiled and relaxed against him, enjoying the way he touched her hair lightly and how the skin of her arms bristled at his touch_

"_What time I'm picking you up from Blondie's tomorrow?" Elena smiled at Caroline's nickname _

"_Emm around six I guess. I'll be waiting for you" She said seductively and Damon felt his cock getting hard again at the sound of her voice _

"_Well tomorrow is going to be my turn at making you feel good" He purred sensually at her ear and Elena felt the wetness gathered in her panties at the promise in his voice_

"_Don't make me wait too long" Elena answered teasingly_

"_I wouldn't dream of it" Damon shot back before moving her head slightly so he was able to kiss her._

_He was never going to get tired of this, of her. Damon didn't believe in love, he thought they it were was all lies, and he promised himself that he was never going to let get himself hurt for something as stupid as that, but right now he was absolutely sure that what he felt for Elena was love, he would die for her, he would be anything she wanted him to be. And he didn't regret it, in fact meeting her was the most wonderful thing that had happened in his life._

_And he wasn't planning on letting her go; she would be his, forever._

* * *

><p>Elena woke up to the smell of fried bacon and felt his stomach growl instantly. She rubbed her eyes slowly and finally decided to get up from the bed, she walked out of the room and into the kitchen wearing the exact same clothes she had last night.<p>

"Morning" Damon said with a smile and he flipped one pancake into the pan

"Hi" Was her simply answer while she took a seat in the kitchen counter and bite into a piece of bacon

"Hope you're hungry because I'm making breakfast for champions " He said with his back turned against her

"You have no idea" Elena said with a dramatic sigh and he turned to smile at her. When their eyes found each other she felt herself drown into those blue pools, how was she letting this to happen? This was wrong on so many levels, yet she didn't want to stop it. She wanted to have breakfast with him and pretend that everything was going to be okay, just because he was here.

"Well then here you go" She moved to sit in one of the chair and he placed a plate with three pancakes, fried bacon, jam and scramble eggs in front of her, alongside with maple syrup and butter.

"Do you really think Im going to eat all of this?" She gave him an incredulous look

"Well you say said you were hungry and you also need the energy" He said with a smile and took a seat in front of her, taking the first bite of pancakes of from his own plate

"Yeah I'm hungry, but it's like you're trying to fatten me to cook eat me later or something like that" Elena said in a teasing tone while taking a sip of the orange juice that was placed gently in front of her

"You're crazy" Damon said almost chocking with on his food at Elena's words

"Seriously I'm going to gain 2 pounds at least" She said but continued eating "But I'm going to be nice to myself today, so who the hell cares, I'll gain four pounds if I want to" Her smile was charming and Damon felt his heart twinge at the sight of her, she was by far the most amazing woman in the world.

"I would love you just the same" He stated honestly and Elena felt his insides warm at this

"Really?" She asked in an incredulous voice while she looked at the fork twisting the eggs in her plate

"Hey I'll love you always…even if you're covered in slime"_(A/N: Sorry but I had to put it, that's one of my favorite Buffy/Angel quotes lol) _She lifted her eyes to look at him and smiled shyly while the blush appeared in her cheeks, and Damon loved to know that he still had that effect on her

Elena said nothing and they continued eating in silence, occasionally stealing glances to each other. Once they were finished they washed the dishes still being so quiet and it surprised her how his simple company could make her feel better.

Yesterday she had come to her his house made a mess, and she still felt really bad and hurt because of the news she received but the simple fact of being around him made her feel a little better, even if they weren't speaking.

"I think I should go" He said in a soft voice

"Yeah you probably should" Elena answered but avoided looking into his eyes

Damon got close to her and before she even realized what was happening he had her pressed against the kitchen counter

"Damon what are you doing?" Her voice was a breathless whisper and Damon felt his skin crawl on fire at the sound

"I'm taking what's mine" Was his simply answer before crashing his lips to hers

Elena couldn't help but being drag in his passionate embrace and immediately tangled her hands in his dark hair, Damon kissed her cheek, chin, and started nipping at her neck while she gasped for air.

"You were made for me" He whispered against his neck and Elena could feel the wetness between her legs starting to grow

His mouth returned to hers and she traced his bottom lips with her tongue, a bold act that surprised him, of course he couldn't complain, he gave her access immediately and enjoyed the feeling of their tongues dancing against each other. He cupped her rear and lifted her up into the counter making her wrap her legs around his torso.

"Oh my god Damon" Was the response that came out of her mouth when he started rubbing his erection with her crotch, feeling the heat that was gathering in there, she felt lost just like it happened every time that she was with him, he made her forget about what was right and what's not. When she was able to see straight she mustered all of the will power in her she turned her head to the side "Stop" Her voice was breathy but harsh and Damon stilled immediately

"You got to be kidding me" He said in annoyed tone

"Damon we can't do this" Her brown eyes looked deeply into his blue ones

"Why not Elena? Why not?" His voice was harsh and desperate

"Well first of all because IM MARRYING YOUR BROTHER" She saw Damon's jaw clench and for a moment she was afraid of him "And besides we're too complicated together, we didn't work before and we're not going to do it now"

"How can you even say that" He said stepping away from her "You didn't even give us a chance" He accuse her

"And you have the guts to say that to me?" She said in an offended voice and he could see the trace of pain in her eyes "Get the hell out of here"

"You are such a hypocrite you know, you say that you loved me but you never gave us a chance. All you did was GIVE UP" His eyes were cold towards her and she just couldn't stand it anymore

"Damon just go. Now"

"You know what? I don't need this!" He shouted at her and saw her flinch at his words

"Fuck this, fuck everything" He angrily took his jacket and walked towards the front door where he found Caroline staring at him open mouthed, he walked past her without even looking

"Elena my god what happened" The blonde said walking towards the kitchen

"I just screwed everything up. Even more" Elena said between sobs while she clutched her knees to her chest, her back resting against the counter

"You wanna tell me what happened?" Caroline kneeled next to her and hugger her tightly

"No" The brunette girl said and turned to rest her head in Caroline's lap while she stroked her hair lightly

"It's okay; you just need to calm down sweetie. Everything's going to be ok" She said soothingly while Elena kept crying

How did everything went go so wrong? One minute they were kissing like there was no tomorrow and now he was angry with her. But the thing that infuriated her was the he had no reason for to being upset, after everything he did to her she moved on, that wasn't a crime. He had no idea of everything she went true through when they split up; he had no idea of all the scars she carried, and yet he dared to say she was the one that gave up. And on top of all that, she cared; she cared if he hated her or if he didn't.

How she wished there was a switch that would help her turn off her emotions towards him, yeah that would make her life simple, she continued thinking about all the things that went wrong trough with them while as she kept crying her heart out.

* * *

><p>Damon had been feeling terrible in the whole day; he was in an awful mood since that argument with Elena. How could she blame him for hurting her? He did everything for her, he loved her like no one else, and she was the one who ran away the second the things got hard. And now she was the one blaming him? What a hypocrite.<p>

He definitely didn't feel like visiting Julian right now, that's why when the phone rang he almost let it slip and refused to go to the orphanage, but he had no reason to been angry with the kid, he didn't deserved his bad mood, so he decided going to see him with best smile on his face.

Beth, the lovely woman in charge led him to a kind of living room with white sofa's and yellow walls where Julian was waiting for him with a big smile on his lips

"So, young man, Beth said you wanted to talk to me" Damon said taking a seat next to the kid "Oh god these are really comfy" He said with surprise at the softness of the couch and Julian let out a chuckle at this

"I wanted to ask you something" The blonde child said with a sudden trace of shyness

"Sure, you can ask me anything" Damon said nonchalantly

"But…I'm not sure you're going to like it" Julian looked at the floor and moved his feet up and down like he did when he was nervous

"Hey, kiddo, seriously tell me what's wrong. I'll do anything" The brunette man said feeling suddenly worried for the kid nervousness

"It's just…next week there's this thing in the called 'Fun house'"

"Okaaay" Damon said with a smirk knowing where this was going. To

"They gave us the chance to go home with a family or one of the benefactors for the whole weekend" Julian started to play with the edge of his shorts while he continued talking "of course they always make sure that the person is trust worthy" He said like if that was a very obvious thing

"Of course you can come with me on the weekend with me" Damon said with a smile already knowing the question the kid was going to ask. It even surprised him how fast he reacted, but Julian was an adorable kid, and managed to charm even him. So yes, he did wanted to have him with him on the weekend

"Really?" Julian asked looking at him, his blue eyes light lit up with joy and Damon's heart warmed up at the sight

"Yeap" He said and ruffled the kid's hair "Just let me talk to Beth to see if I'm trustful trustworthy enough" Damon said with a theatrical mock

"You are, I know" Julian said with a smile that showed all of his teeth

"Ok then" Damon said half laughing "We're gonna have so much fun, I'm the funniest person to be around"

"I hope so" Julian said laughing as well

"Really, it's the truth" Damon said leaning down on the couch and putting his foot up the coffee table in front of them "Oh and you know what, I just bought a Wii" He said with a such a boyish expression that you couldn't difference who was the eight year old kid

"Oh my god, are you serious?" Julian asked excitedly and rested on the couch as well, mimicking Damon's actions

Damon nodded with his head showing a bright smile on his face "It's awesome you're going to like it, maybe we should invite Ric as well, we could team up and beat him" He said with a smirk

"Who's Ric?" Julian asked with a frown at the sound of the strange name

"My best friend, you're going to like him"

"I don't have a best friend" Julian said showing sadness in his eyes

"Well then I can be your best friend, right?" Damon said holding his hand and giving him a reassuring smile

"Yes!" The kid eyes lit up and Damon found himself asking how in the world he got in this situation, he hated kids. What was so different about this one? Being in love with Elena really did bad things for his reputation, he was turning into a softy, maybe next week he would adopt a puppy, or better yet a kitten, yeah that would be perfect to end up cutting his balls.

But then Julian's eyes looked at him with such admiration and care that he knew he was in the right place, when he was a kid he always looked wanted someone to look outup to, to model himself after, but Giuseppe Salvatore was not a good example to follow. He would give Julian what he wished for himself; he was going to be a better man not just for Elena but also for him, to show him what it means to be a man.

He was going to be the best role model ever, he thought to himself with a smile on his face.


	7. He was your father

'_They were going to get married. Keith was going to be my dad'_

'_He was your dad. No matter what any science or paper said. He was the man who influenced your life more than anybody else. I saw it in you everyday'_

'_I just want him to come home'_

'_Lucas, be the man that Keith taught you to be. Anything less would make this a much greater tragedy than it already is.'_

_**One Tree Hill –Who will survive and what would be left of them-**_

* * *

><p>"Oh god Damon" He pounded harder into her without worrying about hurting her, she could handle it and besides it wasn't like he cared much about how she felt.<p>

She took his face between his hands and tried to kiss him but he turned his head to the side, not being able to give that to her. Since his fight with Elena he was a mess and for a moment he just said fuck off, I don't need that. So he tried his best at turning off what he felt towards the brunette woman. This was exactly why he never let himself feel, it would never end well. The only time he let someone in was when he meet her so many years ago and now she was about to marry his brother, and that was crushing him, he couldn't let himself feel that way again.

"Harder" The blond woman panted against his neck and he sped up, urging to find the release that was waiting for him, he just needed to let out all of his frustration somewhere but it felt wrong to be doing this, to be with someone that wasn't her. But what the hell she was probably fucking his brother every night so who the hell cares and with that thought in mind he started to trust without mercy on her

"Oh my god, oh my god don't stop" The girl racked her nails on his back drawing bits of blood and he liked the pain, it made him feel alive. "I'm so close" the woman murmured against his ear and found her voice annoying, everything about her seemed wrong

How the hell did he come to this? He was so damn whipped. He was Damon Salvatore, he slept with countless woman without caring what they thought of him or how they'd feel if he left them alone the next morning, but right now he couldn't shake her face out of his mind and the look she would give him when she realized what he was doing right now and he couldn't take it.

After Elena left him so many years ago he thought he was never going to able to recover from that, he opened his heart to hear and she just spat it out on his face, he hated her and for so many years stayed angry at her, he would sleep with thousands of woman and drink himself to sleep, he was numb for so long, not feeling anything but the anger towards her. That was until he found out she was dating his brother, and the anger multiplied but a new feeling showed up, despair. It killed him to know that she was with Stefan and then he realized that no matter how hard he tried or how many drinks he had or how many women he slept with, he was never going to be able to forget about her. So when they said they were getting married, he knew that he had to do something, no matter what happened in the past, he had to fight for her.

But now he was hopeless, he could feel her slipping through of his fingers and he couldn't take it anymore, so he was doing what he knew how to do best, be self-destructive.

"Oh, oh" The blond girl said when she felt her orgasm coming and Damon felt her walls clamping around him sending him to oblivion as well, emptying himself in the condom.

"That was just amazing" She said still catching her breath when he rolled out of her

He stayed in silence just trying to catch his brain and feeling dirty somehow, he hated the feeling but he couldn't shake it off.

"I had forgotten how good you are" She purred close to him and planted a wet kiss against his cheek

"Please Rebekah, we both know that I'm not an easy man to forget about" He answered cockily and got up from the bed, trying to find his clothes

"Leaving so soon?" She said arching her brown "Come on Damon stay the night" She said with a sensual smile

"Sorry, Bex. We both know I don't do that" He gave her a quick smirk and started putting his pants on

"Oh Damon come on" She said getting up from the bed "Just for old time's sake" He could feel her breasts pressing against his back as she circled his waist with her arms

He was tempted, god he was more than temped to stay here and fuck her the entire night, just forget about everything and lose himself in the sensation, but he couldn't, he had something to do in the morning and he couldn't afford being self-destructive, not anymore. He wasn't only thinking about himself anymore.

"Sorry" He detangled her arms from around him "But I have important things to take care of" He said to her while he buttoned his black shirt

"Damon what can you possibly be doing on Saturday morning that is more important than this" She said while resting in the bed and caressing her leg sensually. Damon smirked at her before walking towards the door

"I have to take care of an eight year old" He said before opening the door and leaving a confused Rebekah Mikalson, naked and alone on the bed.

* * *

><p><em><strong>February 25, 2003<strong>_

"_What the hell is wrong with you?" Mason Lockwood said as he sat in the booth opposite Damon's at the Grill _

"_What do you mean?" Damon asked with a confused frown before biting into his double cheeseburger_

"_Rebekah is almost offering herself to you and you rejected her? Come on man the girl is smocking" The expression on his friend face was priceless, it was like if he was becoming the worst sin in the history on humanity by letting down that girl_

"_She's just not my type" Damon shrugged simply_

"_Not your style?" Mason said with a shocked expression "Then who's your type Damon? You've been single for months now. What the hell is wrong with you?_

_He wanted to say that he wasn't single and that the reason he didn't pay any attention to all those girls throwing themselves to him was because he already had someone, someone special who made him feel unique and the he loved her but he couldn't say those words, because he knew the moment his father realized it he was going to try to take her away from, just like he did with everything he loved, and well Mason wasn't known for his discretion, so that was a chance he wasn't going to take_

"_I don't know Mason; I just don't feel like dating right now" _

"_Then good, don't date her just fuck her" His friend answered nonchalantly_

"_I don't feel like it" Damon answered feeling exasperate by his friend insistence "Why are you pushing this?"_

"_Because man, you've been being boring lately" Mason said in a annoyed tone "You don't want to get drunk with us, or sleep with the girls and you disappear to god knows who and always bail on us" _

"_Well sorry if I'm actually growing up here" Damon answered in a hard tone, angry at the man's comment, "he was boring"? Just because he didn't wanted to throw his life into the garbage like they did._

"_Come on don't get angry Damon" The man said in a lighter tone "We just want to let you know that, and that Bex is the best chance for you to join us again, to be part of the club" He said with a smug smile and that did it for Damon, he didn't want to be around Mason Lockwood anymore, he and the stupid frat boys he called friends could go straight to hell._

"_You know what? Screw you Mason" Damon said getting up from his chair and throwing money into the table to play for his food "I don't need you or any of the guys. I'm going to fuck whoever I want to fuck, if I want to fuck them, you do not come here and tell me what to do. In fact I think that I'm better off without any of you, so go to hell" He said before storming out of the place leaving a startled Mason Lockwood behind._

* * *

><p>"Oh my god is this is your house?" Julian asked as he observed with wide eyes Damon's apartment<p>

"Yep" The man answered "You like it?"

"It's beautiful, I think our bedroom fits ten times in here" The kid said still startled at his surrounding

"I don't think it is that big" Damon shrugged nonchalantly

"What is this?" Julian said getting close to a model house that was resting on top of Damon's living room table

"That is a model home"

"You build them?" Julian asked exactly

"Something like that, I made the designs, I'm the architect but there are other people in charge of building them" Damon explained to the little kid who was looking at the house with wide eyes

"I think is beautiful" He said while examination every piece he could find "Maybe I want to be an architect too" He turned to look at Damon with a big smile on his lips, blue meting blue and Damon's heart melted at the kid's words

"I think you're going to be a great architect" He said smiling back at him "Come on kiddo, let's show you your bedroom" Damon said ruffling the kid hair and motioning for him to follow

"I get my own bedroom?" Julian asked with a surprised expression on his face

"Of course you do, we're best friends right? You need to have your own bedroom" Damon said smiling at the kid reaction, he was so innocent, so pure. He still didn't know how he managed to arrange everything in less than a week or why he did it, but he wanted to give the kid something special and having his own bedroom was exactly that.

They reached an oak door and Damon opened slowly revealing what was inside and Julian let out a gasp when he saw the interior of the place

"Is this my bedroom?" The kid asked with a startled expression on his face and Damon definitely felt proud for pulling of this in less than a week

"Do you like it?" He asked with a smile and Julian's eyes looked at him with surprise

"I…I love it" The blond kid said while entering and admiring everything meticulously. The room had wooden floors and blue walls, there was a wooden dresser and chair and he had an entire shelf full of toys and a white window, the bed was wooden too and it was decorated with yellow and blue bedspreads. "I can't believe you did this for me" Julian said in a whisper

"I'm your best friend right?" Damon said kneeling in front of the kid "I'm suppose to do nice things for you"

"But I didn't do anything for you" The kid said looking down

"Of course you did, you came" Damon said with a small smile "And you're going to make me have fun the entire weekend" As soon as the finished saying the words Julian launched himself at him and hugged him tightly

"Thank you, thank you, thank you" His voice was muffled against his shoulder and Damon could feel tears glistening in his eyes at the kid reaction "Nobody has ever done something like this for me"

"Well there's always a first time" Was Damon's only response. He really couldn't explain what happened to him with this kid but in some way it kind of remind him of himself and how much he wished someone would have helped him or showed him love after his mother death but the only thing he got instead was the coldness of his father, he wanted to make of Julian's childhood something worth of remembering "So you want to see what else I have planned?" Damon asked once the kid released him

Julian only nodded with a smile that showed all of his teeth

.

.

"Dude this is so not possible" Alaric muttered as Julian kicked his ass on 'When you were young' by the killers

"Told you, the kid is a genius" Damon answered with a smirk as he watched his best friend competing against the child on the Guitar Hero

"Yeah but I'm awesome at this" Rick said startled.

"Yeah buddy, truth be told you're not that good" Damon answered and winked at Julian who was still smiling at Alaric comment

After he showed Julian his room he had taken him for ice cream just like he did that time with Elena and then they went to the park. After that returning home to make pizzas and play guitar hero with Alaric. The man was the one true friend Damon had, he was the one who could rely on, always, not like those jerks of Mason and Klaus who pretend to be his friends

He found himself surprised that he had barely though about Elena in the whole day, guess having Julian over did help him, even when it should have had the opposite effect since he only knew the kid because of Elena but it was quite therapeutic being around him. He actually enjoyed himself today

"Fine, I give up" He heard Alaric mutter and turned to look at the score, the kid was really good at this game

"Are you tired already J-boy" Damon asked to the blond kid as he threw himself on one of the couches in the living room right next to Alaric

"I guess so" He said while rubbing his tired eyes and Alaric smiled at him

"You guess so?" The blonde man asked "You're already falling sleep"

"No I'm not" The younger one protested and both man laughed at him because they could see how tired he was

"Come on let's get you to bed. It's already 11:30" Damon got up from the couch and Julian did the exact same thing

"Damn, Salvatore you're already corrupting eight year olds'" Rick said teasingly

"Shut up Rick" Damon responded with a smirk as he leaded Julian into his room

Once they reached the room Julian went straight to getting into Pj's and brushing his teeth when he emerged from the bathroom Damon's was waiting for him, leaning casually against the bed.

"Will you tuck me in?" Julian asked with tired eyes and even thought he wasn't used to being around kids Damon just couldn't deny it to him

"Sure" He answered nonchalantly while Julian climbed into the bed. Damon put the covers on him and tucked him in safely marvelling at how easy it was for him to be gentle with this kid and also how much he reminded him of Elena, there was something about his eyes that hid the same sadness that hers, but at the same time a fiery glow behind them. He was about to get up when Julian's voice stopped him

"I don't want to sleep" Julian said with distress on his voice

"Why not?" The brunette man asked

"Because if I fall asleep it'll means that this day is over" The kid looking down with a sad expression on his face "And then we'll just have one more day before I have to leave"

"But hey" Damon said lifting his chin so he could look into his eyes "We're going to keep seeing each other, I'm not abandoning you" He stated sincerely

"But my parents abandoned me" The kids eyes were glossing with unshed tears "How can I be sure that you won't?"

"Because Julian, I never break a promise" Damon looked deeply into his eyes "And I'm promising you right now, I'm not leaving you Julian, ever. You're stuck with me" He caressed his blonde hair lovingly "You can trust me"

Julian only nodded and wiped his eyes from the tears that had gathered in there "Would you sing me a song?"

"What?"

"Yeah when Lena goes to see me and puts me into bed, she always sings a song to me" The child explained "Would you?" He asked with hope on his voice and he blue eyes pleaded at him

"All right, all right" Damon complained almost too dramatically "How do you feel about Johnny Cash?"

"About who?" Julian asked confused

"I cannot believe you don't know who Johnny Cash is" Damon said with a roll of his eyes "My mom loved this guy and she used to sing his songs to me every night when I was little, and this one is my favorite from all times" He explained softly to the kid and he only looked at him patently waiting to hear the song coming out of his lips

_I'll always love you and make you happy  
>And nothing else could come between us<br>But now you let me to love another  
>You have shattered all of my dreams<br>_

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
>You make me happy when skies are gray<br>You'll never know dear, how much I love you  
>Please don't take my sunshine away<em>

_In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me_  
><em>When I awake my poor heart pains.<em>  
><em>So when you come back and make me happy<em>  
><em>I'll forgive you dear, I'll take all the blame.<em>

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_  
><em>You make me happy when skies are gray<em>  
><em>You'll never know dear, how much I love you<em>  
><em>Please don't take my sunshine away<em>

He sang the song with such emotion on his voice, remembering the first time he sang it to someone and it made his heart ache at the memory, at her memory. He couldn't take it anymore, there was only so much pain a man could take and he didn't know if he was ever going to recover from losing her. When he pulled himself out of his thoughts he noticed that Julian was already fast asleep so he got up from the bed and before exiting the room he gave him a small kiss on the forehead.


	8. Must have been love

_Touch me now, I close my eyes and dream away._

___It must have been love but it's over now.__  
><em>_It must have been love but I lost it somehow.__  
><em>_It must have been love but it's over now.__  
><em>_From the moment we touched, 'til the time had run out._

It must have been love –Roxette-

"So, are you finally going to tell me what happened with Damon that's made you like this?" Caroline asked with soft eyes while they were eating breakfast at the brunette's apartment.

"It's nothing, Caroline." Elena answered without looking at her friend as she moved her fork through her salad.

"Ok, you know what, I'm done with this." Caroline said with exasperation in her voice while removing the fork from Elena's hand. "You are going to talk to me, whether you want to or not." Her eyes were fiery and Elena felt intimidated under her stare.

"It's just... I screw things up, I didn't believe it was possible but I screw things up so much." Elena let out a tired sigh - this was just getting too hard, it was a lot to take in.

"Elena, why are you marrying Stefan?" Her friend asked in a serious voice

.

"Because I love him." Elena answered simply.

"No you don't and both you and I know that."

"I do Caroline, I love him." The brunette woman answered stubbornly.

"No, Elena, you clearly don't, because If you loved him you wouldn't be feeling the way you feel about his brother." Caroline didn't mean to be so harsh and regretted her words when she saw tears forming in Elena's eyes, but someone needed to tell her that; she had to wake up.

"I can't do this to him." She let out a strained whisper. "Caroline, I don't know what to do." Elena covered her eyes with her hands and started sobbing.

"Yes you do, Elena. Don't marry him." It was the first time that she had said it out loud and it felt like a huge weight had just been lifted off her shoulders. For the first time, Caroline Forbes had said what she had been waiting to say all along.

"I have to." Elena answered breathlessly.

"Why?"

"Because I gave him my word. I promised him and it would crush him to know that I'm love with Damon." Elena knew that she was being selfish but she refused to let it go, she loved Damon with all her heart but they could never be happy so marrying Stefan was her only choice.

"And you think that your love for Damon is going to go away?" Caroline looked deeply into her eyes. "No Elena, It's been 10 years and you still love him like you have since the first day you met him. Your love for him is never going to disappear, he owns your heart and he's always going to." Elena was startled by Caroline's words but the blonde didn't stop there. "Do you have any idea how this is going to hurt you and Stefan in the long run? How he's going to feel when he realizes that you are never going to love him completely because you love his brother, because you'll die for him, because you are his? Can you imagine your life 10 years from now, bonded to a man that you don't love, that doesn't make you happy. Can you imagine that?" Tears were falling furiously from Elena's eyes at Caroline's words, she knew that the blonde girl was telling the truth, and even just listening to her say it was painful but she knew a greater pain and wasn't willing to feel that way again. Damon Salvatore was not going to hurt her again.

"Caroline, I can't." Her voice was a soft whisper and Caroline felt her blood boiling at her friend's stubbornness. She had happiness at arm's length and she was letting all of it slip away. How was she able to afford that?

"Elena, what are you so afraid of?" Her friend asked with warm eyes. Yes, she wanted to slap her and shake her until she came to her senses, but Elena was her best friend and she was going to be there for her no matter what, even when she knew she was being selfish and wrong. Besides, the fear in Elena's eyes was enough to activate the softest part inside of her.

"Of him." Elena answered simply as the tears kept falling from her eyes.

"Okay, look, this is what we are going to do." Caroline stated seriously as she took the phone from the table. "This salad sucks anyway, so we are going to order pizza, we've got ice cream, popcorn and we are going to sit here, the entire day if we need to," Elena looked at her confused, not knowing where her friend was going with this. "But you are going to tell me every word, with details, about what happened between you and Damon ten years ago." Elena was ready to protest but Caroline interrupted her immediately. "I'm not taking a no for an answer. I'm your best friend Elena and these are things I need to know, you can't carry all of that pain on your own, so enough with brushing me off. You are going to tell me everything."

Elena didn't stand a chance against Caroline's determination and she knew it, so what the hell, she was done with hiding things. Her friend was right and carrying all of that pain was exhausting, she really needed to tell all of it to someone, and Caroline was the right person for it.

"Okay, but you have to promise me that you won't say a word to anyone." Elena's eyes looked fiercely at hers.

"You know I won't." The blond girl was being sincere but something was telling her that she may not be able to keep her promise, and that a certain blue eyed man was going to force her into saying everything.

"I believe everything started going down on February of 2003." Elena closed her eyes while the memories kept flowing back to her. "That was the beginning of the end."

_February 25, 2003_

"_Damon__,__ do you wanna tell me why you __are being__ so weird?" Elena asked__,__ concerned__,__ as she played with the hairs __o__n his arm while he was driving towards the falls__._

"_It's nothing__.__" He answered coldly. After his discussion with Mason he was in a terrible __mood,__ and he knew that letting everything out __on__ Elena was wrong but it was like he couldn't control himself. The thing the Lockwood boy said __had__ really affected him__.__W__hat if he was turning into some boring person, what if he was letting her control everything about him__?__ He couldn't let that happen, he loved Elena and he was well aware of that, but he had to find a way to put a __barrier __between them, he just couldn't let her have any more power over him__.__T__hat would destroy him for sure._

"_Nothing, seriously?" She asked incredulously__.__ "You__'ve__ barely said a word to me__.__" Damon let out a snort and tighten__ed__ his hands __around__ the steering wheel__.__ "Damon come on__,__ what's wrong__?__"_

"_I said nothing's wrong Elena__!__" He shouted at her and she flinched at his tone, he had never talked to her like this__;__ something must ha__ve__ happened to __him to__ have __made__ him like this__._

"_Damon__,__ I just want to help__.__" She said softly while caressing his cheek with her hand. Damon felt himself melt at her action but then he remembered that that was the kind of power __he__ couldn't give her, he couldn't become that man__._

"_Elena__,__ just leave it alone__.__" He removed her hand __from__ his face and Elena felt her heart __break__ at __the__ action__._

"_Damon please, did I d__o__ something wrong?" Elena asked with worry__.__S__he was afraid that she may be the reason why Damon was acting th__is__ way__._

"_You know what Elena, not everything in my life is about you. Don't think so high__ly__ of yourself__.__" Once the words __left__ his mouth he regretted __them__ and cursed mentally__._

"_Take me home__.__" Elena said__,__ looking __ou__t __of__ the window and doing her best __to__ not let the tears fall from her eyes__._

"_I didn't mean to-" _

"_Take me home__.__" Elena answered with coldness __i__n her voice and he couldn't complain to her demands__.__A__nyway__,__ it wasn't the best __idea__ to be around her right now, he didn't __want__ to hurt her more. _

"_Elena__,__ I didn't mean to say those things__.__" He started when they were parked in front of her house, still being cautious __so __that her parents didn't spot his car. She only gave him a hard glance and left the car__.__T__he walk from his car to her house __was so hard__ for her, trying her best not __to __let the tears fall__.__S__he couldn't let her parents see her like this__.__M__aybe they were right__,__ being with Damon wasn't a smart decision._

_Once he dropped her at her house he drove to the grill, feeling disgusted with himsel__.__T__he way_ _he__'d__ treat__ed__ her was wrong, he loved her and he hurt her, that was the way he worked__.__H__e knew that letting Elena in was a big mistake__,__ he was going to end up destroying her and she would do it __to him too.__N__othing good could come out of that relationship._

_He was drinking his third glass of whiskey when a very familiar blonde sat next to him__.__ "Why are you so alone?" She purred sensually next to his ear__._

"_Maybe because I want to __be.__" He answered bluntly, not in the mood __to deal__ with her__._

"_Come on Damon__,__ we can have some fun__.__" She looked at him with flirtatious eyes as her hands __started__ caressing his thigh. He stared at her and felt himself __get __lost in her eyes__. Y__es, the alcohol was already starting to mess with him._

"Damon, are you sure about this?" Alaric asked his best friend as they drove through the streets of Mystic Falls.

"I've never been more sure of anything in my entire life Ric." Damon answered with conviction. This may be a little rushed and yes, some part of him still thought that he wasn't thinking this through properly but the other part told him to stop being rational and just do what his heart was telling him to do.

"But, this is going to be hard Damon, are you sure you're ready for it?" Ric asked his friend. He thought that what Damon was doing was very noble but he also knew that it was incredibly hard.

"I'm sure Ric, everything is going to be fine, you'll see."

"Well, I hope so." Was his friend's simple response. Alaric's phone starting to ring with 'We found love', a song that Damon thought was incredibly annoying and couldn't help but roll his eyes at Ric for having it as his ring tone. Seriously, he couldn't be more gay.

"Yes, of course I haven't forgot." Alaric said through the phone and Damon gave him a questioning look, he didn't know that his friend was seeing anybody and Ric always told him everything. "I miss you too sweetheart." Damon let out a chuckle at his friend's words while he gave him a murderous look. Ric chatted for a few more minutes with the mystery woman and when he finally hanged up Damon attacked.

"So, who was on the phone, sweetheart?" Damon said the minute Rick hanged up, not resisting the opportunity to mess with him.

"Very funny Damon." Ric answered with a roll of his eyes. "She's just a friend."

"Oh right, just a friend."

"Okay, maybe more than a friend." Alaric admitted.

"Figured that much, but who is she?" Damon asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

"You know, just a girl. You don't know her." The elder man shrugged nonchalantly.

"Oh my God, tell me you didn't!" Damon shouted and Ric actually jumped off his seat at the sound. "Come on Ric, you're totally screwing Jenna right?" He said with accusing eyes.

"I'm not screwing her Damon, I like her. I actually like her." The blonde man defended himself immediately. He'd never felt for anyone the way he felt about Jenna and Damon needed to learn to accept that. The fact that Jenna was like family to Elena was purely a coincidence and he wasn't going to let happiness slip away from him because of that.

"But-"

"But nothing Damon, It's my life and I get to decide what to do with it." Alaric said in a sober tone.

"Fine, fine then." Damon answered in a child like tone. The truth was that even though he wasn't that sure about Jenna and Ric's romance he was happy for his friend, Ric had been single for so long and it had been hard for him to get over his divorce from Meredith so if Jenna made him happy, he was going to be happy for both of them. "Besides, it's going to be fun, she's so going to kick your ass." Damon teased him and Ric rolled his eyes at him once again.

"We are here." The blonde man said while observing the building they were parking at. "Again, I'll ask, are you sure about this Damon?"

"Very much." Damon said with a smile. "Let's go." He opened the door and walked towards the front door. He was making the right choice, he had no doubt about it and it wasn't going to be easy but he was going to give it his best effort and everything was going to work out, he was very positive about it.

Once inside Alaric waited for his friend in one of the brown chairs they had outside the office while Damon spoke with the woman in charge. Rose was one of the best lawyers in the entire town and she said she was going to be able to help Damon, so he was putting all of his hope into her.

"Are you sure this is what you want Mr. Salvatore?" The British woman asked seriously. "You have to understand that this is no game and that if you do this you need to be 100% sure that this is what you want. It's people we're talking about here."

"I'm absolutely sure Mrs. Cohan," Damon answered with a smile. "This is what I want and I know that a lot of people won't be able to understand it but I know that it's the right thing to do." The conviction in his voice was so pure that Rose couldn't help but smile, she was going to help him get what he wanted, not because he was paying her but because she was positive that what he wanted was for the best.

"They are going to put many obstacles in your way to try and stop you from getting custody, you know, what with you being single and all, but I'm very sure that we can win this." The woman gave him a reassuring smile and Damon felt content on the inside; he hoped she was right.

"Now please, just sign here." She handed him a folder and showed him exactly where his signature had to go. Damon did it immediately and returned the folder to her. "Now we're ready, I'll just talk to Beth and we can send the papers to start the adoption process." She smiled at him once again before lifting the phone and Damon couldn't help but think that for once in his life he was sure that this was the right thing to do.

_February 27, 2003_

_He had __felt__ terrible __for __the last two days, being away from Elena was killing him__.__H__e had tried to reach her __non-stop__ but she still didn't __return__ any of his calls and he truly couldn't blame her, after __the__ way he treated her she __had the__ right to be like this with him__._

_That night at the grill__,__ he almost let himself get convinced to sleep with Rebekah but __thankfully__ he realized his mistake early enough__.__H__e wasn't going to do that her, Elena was everything to him and he would never cause her so much pain, that was why he felt so miserable right now__,__ he __had__ hurt her and nothing was worse than that. Even __though it was probably for the best -__ that way she would stay away from him and he would have no chance of hurting her or getting hurt._

_He was so __swept up__ in his thoughts that he almost __passed __the __entrance__ to the woods__._ _T__he big annual party was __happening__ there and he knew __that__ every teenager __i__n Mystic Falls was going to be there. Mason had called him yesterday and apologized__,__ begging him to go to the damn party and Damon agree__d as__ he also __knew there was a __chance __he'd__ spot Elena there__.__M__aybe he could watch her from __a__ distance._

_After an hour of drinking and listening to stupid conversation__s__ he found himself walking around the woods when he heard her laugh__.__H__e turned around and saw her standing with Caroline, Bonnie and some other girl he didn't __know.__ She looked so beautiful__;__s__he was wearing a little purple dress that __in__ his opinion was a little to__o__ revealing but __it__ made her look like a goddess__.__H__er hair was in curls and her heels only made her legs look longer, she was truly a vision and the sound of her laugh went straight to his heart__.__G__od__,__ he loved her so much._

_His happiness __at__ see__ing__ her quickly turned into rage when he saw the stupid Matt Donovan walk towards them and __hand__ a glass to Elena__.__S__he smiled at him and Damon felt his blood boiling inside of him. He got close to her and murmured something into her ear, Elena looked startled and not very pleased with the thing that __he'd__ sa__id__ to her and when his arm started caressing hers Damon couldn't take it anymore._

_He walked towards them and without warning knocked the boy __onto__ the ground__.__E__veryone around stare__d__ at him__,__ startled, including Elena but he didn't __care.__T__he only thing __o__n his mind was getting her out of there, out of everyone__'s__ sight__.__H__is plan __to__stay__ away from her w__as__ long forgotten. He grasped her arm tightly and dragged __her__ to his car__,__ ignoring her protest__s._

"_What the hell is wrong with you Damon__?__" She yelled at him once he shoved her into the car and fastened the seatbelt __for__ her__._

_He didn't __answer__, he didn't sa__y__ a word, he __couldn't__ trust himself with talking right now so he just started to drive__.__H__e didn't __know__ where he was going until he saw the familiar road of the __Falls__ appearing right in front of them__._

"_Are you going to tell me what the hell is wrong with you now?" Elena shouted angrily at him once he parked __the car._

"_What the hell were you doing with that guy?" Damon asked without taking his eyes off the __steering wheel._

"_What guy? Matt? He's my friend__.__" Damon gripped the wheel harder at her answer__.__ "You had no right __to__punch__ him__.__" She stated angrily__._

"_I had no right?" Damon yelled incredulously__,__ turning his head to look at her__.__ "The guy was looking at you with lust __written in__ his eyes, he touched you__!__" There was fire coming out __of __his eyes and for a moment Elena was scared of him__._

"_Touching me? That's ridiculous__,__ he barely-"_

"_Don't__,__" Damon's voice was dangerous__.__ "Don't defend him__,__ I know __exactly__ what I saw__.__" _

"_This is stupid__.__" Elena murmured before opening the door and __getting__ out of the car__._

"_Where the hell do you think you're going?" He said in a hard tone while following her__._

"_Far away from you, you stupid asshole__!__" She shouted back at him when she felt him __grip__ her arm from behind__._

"_You__,__ are not going anywhere__.__" He said dangerously, their faces only inches away from each other__s._

"_Who the hell do you think you are Damon?" She said angrily__.__ "You treat me like crap and then you come and take me away from my friends__,__ you__'re so__ wrong if you think I'm going-" Her words were interrupted by Damon's persistent mouth against hers. Once his tongue slipped inside of her mouth she couldn't even remember why they were fighting __in__ the first place__.__S__he sank her hands in__to__ his black hair and let him __lift__ her up to place her gently on top of his car__._

"_This doesn't mean you are forgiven__.__" She murmured between kisses and she could feel him smirking against her mouth as he caressed her __thighs._

"_I'm so sorry, I'm really sorry baby__,__" He murmured as he planted kisses on the exposed __skin __on her chest__.__ "I missed you so much__.__" _

"_I missed you too__.__" She purred as he lifted __her __dress ever so slowly__._

"_I need you, I need you badly__.__" He said in a desperate tone__._

"_I know, I know__,__" She answered as he pushed her panties __to__ the side and started caressing her softly__.__ "I need you too__.__" She said with raw need and lifted her hips__,__ helping him get rid of her underwear__._

_She didn't __know__ when he__'d__ got__ten__ rid of his own underwear but the next thing she __knew he__ was him pushing __himself__ inside of her, and just like every time she let herself be __consumed__ by the amazing feeling of him moving inside her. It was hard, fast and passionate and with every __thrust__ he brought her closer to the edge._

_It still surprise__d__ her how much she needed him and how __it__ never seemed to be enough with him__.__ "Oh __G__od Damon, oh __G__od__...__" She panted as she felt her climax ripping through her__.__S__econds later he exploded inside of her and fill__ed__ her with his cum which she accepted greedily. _

"_I love you Lena, I love you so fucking much__.__" He panted against her neck as they __remained__ tangled __together__ w__hile__the ice__ cold freeze of the night __surrounded them._

"_I love you to__o__ darling, always__.__" She answered and Damon felt his heart __swell__ at her response, he didn't care if she __owned__ him, he was hers and she was his, screw __what__ other people th__ought__, she could do with him whatever she wanted __to __because now he wasn't going to let anything get between them. He loved her and nothing was going to be stronger than that._


	9. Three Steps above heaven

_I'm back :) Really hope you like this chapter, don't worry we're almost getting to the reason why our favorite couple isn't together. Please let me know what you think of this chapter. Thanks to everyone who's reading and giving me alerts and all, and if you have time please leave a little review ;) Also thanks a lot to xxxMrsSalvatorexxx who's awsome for correctinig and reading this and also giveme her kind words._

_Enjoy_

* * *

><p>'<em>I had never been so happy in my entire life'<em>

'_Neither do I'_

'_So happy that you could touch the sky with your fingers?'_

'_No, a lot more. At least three steps above heaven'_

_._

**_Three steps above heaven (Tre metri sopra il cielo) _**

**–_Federico Moccia-_**

**_._**

**_._**

Elena Gilbert was lying down in her bedroom, the lights were off and the only sound that was audible was her steady breathing. Stefan's trip had been delayed so he would be returning home in two days; she still hadn't figured out how she was going to tell him that she was not going to be able to give him children.

A tear escaped her eyes at the thought, why was God doing this to her? After everything she had been through she at least deserved the chance to be a mom. She caressed her belly and started sobbing, this couldn't be happening to her. Memories started to plague her mind but she closed her eyes, forcing them to go away. She couldn't go there. Not now.

Why had life been so unfair to her? She couldn't understand it; no matter how hard she tried she just couldn't find a decent reason that excused everything that had happened to her.

Her thoughts went back to Damon, she hated the way things had ended up between them the other day; he had been her support through this and now he wasn't even talking to her, that made her heart ache. A part of her still couldn't understand why she loved him so much, after everything. There was no reasonable explanation, how can you still love someone that much after they destroy you? That was always her biggest problem with Damon, she loved him too much and she gave him the power to break her with just one word.

And then there was Stefan, he had been nothing but kind to her: he loved her, he took care of her and most of all he was safe. Stefan would never hurt her; he wasn't that kind of guy. He was the perfect man to form a family with, he was loyal, loving and stable, but she didn't want those things, she wanted passion, recklessness and stubborness. Elena was sure that she was a masochist; there was no other way to describe her.

She knew that marrying Stefan was the best choice, she would lead a happy life with him, on the contrary of what Caroline had told her she knew that Stefan and her could have a happy life, even if she didn't love him the same way he loved her, she still cared about him and she would never have to worry about her heart being broken.

Some nights she wondered what would happen if she could go back in time to when she first met Damon. Would she still choose him? Or would she run away as fast as her legs could carry her? She'd spent hours debating on that choice but in the end the result was always the same, no matter how things ended up she would never change her moments with Damon for anything. That's how she knew her love for him was still intact.

Sometimes she wished she could be brave and strong like him, that way she would take what she wanted without worrying about anything or anyone, but she wasn't and she was going to have to accept that fact. Her life and Damon Salvatore weren't linked anymore, and she had to move on.

* * *

><p><strong><em>March 1, 2003<em>**

"_Well__,__ if a week ago somebody told me that I would find the great Damon Salvatore sitting alone in a b__ar__ I just wouldn't believe it__.__" The sultry voice of Rebekah Mikaelson said as she took a seat next to hi__m__ in the bar__._

"_That shows how __much__ things __have __changed, however my answer to you is still the_ _same__._"_ He answered nonchalantly as he sipped his bourbon. Yes__,__ the bastards __- __his so called friends __-__ weren't speaking to him anymore but he was more than okay with Elena and nothing was going to ruin that, not even the stupid comments __coming from __the blond sitting next to him__._

"_Seriously__,__ what has gotten into you?" She asked with curiosity __i__n her voice__._

_"This is definitely not you__.__"_

"_Well maybe you never knew me Rebekah__.__" He answered with exasperation__._

"_Relax; I wasn't trying to get you angry. __Although,__ if that's what you like, I can handle aggressive__.__" She purred as she got close__r__ to him and started stroking his arm__._

_He just couldn't believe this woman, how many times __did __he __need__ to tell her no for __an answer? S__he was already getting the best of him and __he __was about to make some rude comment about her insistence when he spotted Elena at the other side of the room. All the color had left her face and he could see her eyes glistening with unshed tears__.__H__e got up immediately__,__ ignoring the protest__s from__ Rebekah and went to follow his girlfriend who had already left the establishment._

_The blond girl just stood there with her mouth open wide; there was no way that that was the reason why Damon was rejecting her, that stupid little kid. Nobody said no to her and especially for someone as insignificant as Elena Gilbert. This was turning into a challenge she wasn't going to let escape._

_Damon reached for her when she was about to cross the street, he took hold of her arm and force__d her__ to turn __around __to __face__ him__;__ her mascara had caused a mess on her face and the broken look __i__n her eyes made him want to go __back inside__ and scream at Rebekah until her ears bled. _

"_Elena, princess-"He began but she interrupted him immediately by smacking him as hard as she could__._

"_How could you do something like that to me__?__" She shouted out with an uneven voice__._

"_Elena__, it's__ not the way __it looks-__" _

"_Then how is it__?__" She yelled at him__. Elena knew that she was overreacting but the insecure part of her brain kept yelling at her to do something__ "Explain __it to __me because it seems to me that you- that you-" She couldn't even finish her sentence because the sobs took control of her whole body__.__ Damon took her in his arms and she let him__._

"_Baby, I would never do something like that __to__ you, ever__.__" He whispered sweetly into her ear while she kept crying against his chest__._

"_Then why were you with her?" She looked up at him with her big doe eyes and his heart broke at the sight, such a magnificent creature shouldn't be able to feel pain. He placed one hand __o__n her cheek and wiped her tears away__._

"_Because she's a slut who keeps hitting on me__,__" He knew his words were crude but there was no other way to describe Rebekah__.__ "But I told her no, every single time__.__" He could see that the doubt hadn't left her yet and it broke __his __heart to know that she was so unsure about his love for her__.__ "I don't want any other woman, I have you and you're all I want and all I need__.__" He said his words with such conviction that Elena knew he was __tell__ing the truth but that didn't __stop__ her insecurities __from__ tak__ing__ control of her._

_She knew the kind of man Damon was and the kind of people he hanged out with__.__W__hy would_ _he__ leave his entire world to be with her__?__S__he was nothing special._

"_But why would you want me? I'm not __the __kind of girl you would like__.__" Her voice was full of despair and Damon held her tighter__.__ "I'm nothing special Damon__.__" She cried against his chest__._

"_You are the most special woman in the entire world__,__ Elena__.__" His voice was charged with love and tenderness__.__ "You are the one for me, I love you so much and I would never love another like you__.__" He placed his hand beneath her chin__,__ forcing her to look at him__.__ "I could never love anyone like __I love__ you__.__"_

_His mouth collided with hers and at the moment he didn't care who may be seeing them, he didn't care about anything but showing her how much she meant to him and how he would never leave her, he was showing her how much he loved her._

_She fisted her hands into his raven locks and he could taste the tears that were still falling from her eyes__.__"__I love you__."__S__he murmured once they were apart and he wished he could __hold onto__ that moment forever. He pressed their foreheads together and opened his eyes to f__ind__ her staring back at him, her eyes still sore f__rom__ all __of__ the crying__._

"_Come on, let's get you home princess__.__" He said softly while their face__s__ still remained inches away from each other__._

"_I don't wanna go home__.__" She complained and caressed his cheek absently__._

"_Then where do you wanna go?" He asked with a smile__,__ as if he already knew what was __about to appear i__n her mind__._

"_I wanna go with you, I wanna be with you__.__" She said before placing a soft kiss onto his lips__._

"_Then let's go__,__" He smiled back and held her hand with his__.__ "I'll take you to heaven__.__" He said__,__ doing that eye thing that drove her crazy__._

"_You won't let anyone __tear__ us apart__,__ right?" Elena asked__,__ tighten__ing__ her hold __o__n his hand__.__H__is blue eyes looked back at her with tenderness__._

"_I would fight the whole world if __I__ need__ed__ to, but no one is taking you away from me__.__" _

* * *

><p>"Okay, so if this everything that needed to be done, I'm finished." Elena said with a sigh and got up from the chair she was sitting at.<p>

"Go home and get some rest girl." Beth told her sweetly. "You need it, you look exhausted."

Elena nodded, if she looked that way at work then not even her house would give her the peace she was looking for.

"You haven't told me what you think about the adoption." The elder woman said while Elena finished packing her things into her briefcase.

"What adoption?"

"Julian's adoption." The moment the words left Beth's mouth Elena felt something press down on her chest, she knew that this moment could come but hearing it was something very different. She was planning on telling Stefan her idea about adopting him once he got back, but now it turned out that someone else wanted him. Why was God being so unfair to her?

"Who is going to take him? I didn't know anything about it." Elena said showing a little bit of the despair she was feeling.

"I thought Lucy was going to inform you," Beth said looking at her with compassion, the woman knew how much Julian meant to her. "It's actually your friend, the one who visits him sometimes, he's the one adopting Julian."

"What?" This had to be a joke; Elena couldn't believe what she was hearing. Damon adopting Julian, that wasn't possible. He hated kids, yes he seemed to be different with the blond kid but even so he was not capable of being a father.

Tears started to fall from her eyes when she realized how wrong she was, Damon would have been the perfect father for their children so he would be just as amazing for Julian. But she couldn't let him take away the only thing that made her life better, she just couldn't.

"Yes, he already started the arrangements." Beth looked at Elena closely.

"Sweetie, are you ok?" She said taking in her reaction, she looked like she was going to pass out at any minute.

"Yes I'm fine, I just need to go somewhere." She said quickly before taking her things and heading to her car as fast as she could.

The entire drive towards Damon's apartment was torture, and the fact that she hadn't seen him since the day of their argument made everything worse. Elena had absolutely no idea what she was going to say to him, but she had to tried, Julian was a big part of her life and he couldn't take him away from her.

She was about to knock when the door flew open and she was greeted with a face she'd hoped she'd never have to see in her whole life again.

"Well, if this isn't Elena Gilbert." Rebekah said in a mocking tone. "I can see you're still interested in the cheap stuff, Damon." She said without taking her eyes off her and Elena felt like crying at any moment, the last of her restraint breaking.

Next thing, a very shocked Damon Salvatore showed up at the door and the minute he saw the look in Elena's eyes he knew that Rebekah needed to leave.

"Go away." He said coldly to her.

"Oh, is this your way of treating all the women you sleep with?" She pouted obnoxiously and Elena looked down, doing her best to not let her see the distress she was in.

"Just go Rebekah." He said in an exasperated tone and she only smirked at him before waking past Elena and leaving his place.

"Come in." Damon opened the door wide open, somewhat ashamed of himself, he knew that she had nothing to be angry about but he felt bad that she had to see that.

"How could you do that?" She shouted once he closed the door, she'd lost her fight with tears a while ago. She felt like her heart had been smashed into the floor, once again. She felt suffocated, like she couldn't breathe, it was like God was trying to see how much she could take today.

"I'm sorry, but last time I checked I was still single." He fired back, he didn't mean to sound harsh but fighting had become such an easy task for them.

"But with her? After everything?" She shook her head violently. "Why am I surprised? I should have expected this." She stated angrily as the tears kept falling from her eyes, a sight that Damon couldn't tolerate. He wanted nothing more than to run to her and hold her in his arms until all the pain went away but instead he just kept shouting at her.

"Expected what? What did you want me to do? To keep pining over you while you fuck my brother everyday?" He spat furiously at her, his body shaking from the rage he was experiencing. Elena's eyes widened at the coldness of his words and she looked down, unable to stand his stare.

"Don't adopt Julian." Her voice was a whisper and Damon couldn't understand how they went from fighting about his lady companions to discussing Julian.

"What?"

"Beth told me that you started the arrangements…but please don't." Her voice was broken and it swept through the last of his barriers so he walked towards her and pulled her into a hug.

"I want him Elena, I may not have known him for as long as you have but I'm connected to him in ways that I can't even understand." He was being honest and Elena knew it, she knew that she was being incredibly selfish but the idea that she wasn't going to have the chance of being his mom was killing her.

"But I want him too." Her eyes looked at him brokenly, like they did that March night so long ago. "I want to talk with Stefan about the idea of adopting him." His heart broke at her words, that would be another thing that his brother would be taking away from him: the love of his father, the love of his life and now his potential son. "You will still be able to be close to him."

"Elena, I-" Damon really didn't know what to say, he knew she was going to be angry but this was a reaction he wasn't counting on.

"Damon please," Her brown eyes bored into his. "I know that I'm asking for a lot but I need him." The sobs started to rack her tiny body and he held her even tighter. "He's all I have and I can't lose him, please Damon, don't take him away from me." His shirt was starting to get wet with her tears and he took a deep breath, trying to gain his composure.

"Okay." He answered simply.

"Really?" Her eyes looked at him with surprise.

"If it's what you want, then okay." He wanted Julian, he really did. The kid touched something inside him that was beyond his explanation, but seeing Elena like this, that he couldn't take it. She couldn't have children and if having Julian was going to make her happy than he would do everything in his power to achieve it. The only thing he wanted was for her to be happy. For a moment he could imagine how perfect they would be, the three of them together, how much fun they would have and how much love they would share. But she wasn't his, not anymore.

"Oh my God, thank you!" She held onto him for dear life and Damon felt a part of himself die slowly, knowing that this was the only way he was ever going to have her, just as a friend. "I know I have no right to ask you for it but thank you Damon, you have no idea how much this means to me." She was being completely honest, she would never forget that he helped her, never.

"I would do anything for you." He stated passionately before taking her lips in a soft kiss, a goodbye kiss. She responded to him and got lost in the sensation, she could feel it too. This was their goodbye, no more stolen kisses or sideways glances, they were going to play the part they had in this story, and it wasn't together.

This last kiss was one soul being torn in a half, knowing that it would never meet its other half again.


	10. The one that got away

_Leave me a review on this one yes? pretty pretty please :)_

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><p><em>I was June and you were my Johnny Cash<br>Never one without the other we made a pact  
>Sometimes when I miss you<br>I put those records on_

Someone said you had your tattoo removed  
>Saw you downtown singing the Blues<br>It's time to face the music  
>I'm no longer your muse<p>

_**The one that got away –Katy Perry-**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

**_April 1, 2003_**

_Elena didn't __know__ why but her mother was __being __incredibl__y__ annoying lately, she barely __let__ her out of __her __sight, that was the reason why she hadn't seen Damon in the last two weeks. That was just killing her and she was sure that he wasn't having a good time too. Or at least__,__ that was what she __was__ expect__ing__. _

_Today her father had an important business dinner and he took Isobel with him, so that gave her time to go and see Damon but she had tried to reach him nonstop and __hadn't gotten an__ answer from him__,__ so she decided to stop by The Grill hoping that Damon was there. She needed to see him, to tell him she had been going crazy since the moment the result__s__ came out__.__S__he didn't __know__ what to do and he was the only one who could help her right now._

_Elena put on a long sleeve__d__ w__hite__ top and a pair of skinny jeans combined with a her favorite __pair of__ black boots__;__ she curled her hair and applied __some __light __make-up__ on her face__.__S__he wanted to __look__ gorgeous for him, she felt like they had been apart __for__ months instead of days._

_She got __out of__ the car and started walking towards the grill__.__A__s she approached the place she started to feel uneasy, something in the pit of her stomach was telling her to stop and return to her car, to not keep going but it was __as__ if her legs had free will, they __just__ kept carry__ing__ her inside__._

_It __felt__ like her heart __had __stopped beating the moment she spotted him__;__ everything around her disappeared and despair started to cre__ep__ into her body, her breathing __became__ ragged and her eyes clouded with tears__.__T__here he was __-__ the love of her life__,__ kissing another woman. Kissing her. Her hands tangled in his dark hair, pulling him towards her. How was he capable of doing that to her? He knew how much she loved him, she gave him her heart, her body, her soul and yet he managed to destroy it. Why __did __he __do__ that? Not wanting to stay in that place any longer she turned on her heels and started to run as fast as her legs __could__ carry her._

_The moment the air of the night hit her she broke down completely and the sobs took hold of her body, it was like she couldn't breathe. _

"_Did you really think you were going to change him?" The amused voice of Mason Lockwood s__aid from__ behind her and she turned around to face his pleased eyes__._

"_Go away__.__" She whispered__._

"_Poor little thing, what did you __think__? That the Casanova __of Mystic Falls__ was going to vow his eternal love __for you__?" She felt disgusted by the voice of that man and wanted nothing more tha__n to__ slap that stupid smile of__f__ his face__.__ "I'm sure he told you all kinds of beautiful things__,__ right? That he loved you and that he would fight for you, that you changed his life__.__" He let out a soft laugh__.__ "And you believe__d__ every single one __of __his lies__.__"_

"_Shut up__.__" Elena muttered and she started to walk towards her car while she cleaned her face __of__ the mascara that ran down her cheeks__._

"_Oh wait__,__ I know__,__ I know… He said that you were the most special girl in the world and that there would never __be __another one for him__.__" Mason__'s__ smirk grew even bigger when he saw the effect his words were having o__n__ Elena__._

"_He had it all planned you know?" He started walking behind her__.__ "Getting you to fall for him, getting you __in__to bed… all of it__.__" Elena couldn't stand what he was saying anymore, it had __all__ been a lie, Damon __had __lied to her__.__ "You were just too fool__ish__and__ believe__d__ it all__.__"_

_Elena kept walking__,__ trying her best __to ignore__ the disgusting things that were coming out __of __his mouth but she just couldn't, they were __imprinting themselves__ on her soul__.__ "I'm sure you__'ve__ picture__d__ it all__:__ the children, the house with __the __white fence__...__ but you should have known better Elena, people don't change and Damon certainly __never will.__"_

_Elena kept ignoring him as she got into her car and started driving towards her house, she couldn't stand to be __i__n that place anymore. Mason Lockwood stood in the same spot with a satisfied smirk on his face__.__T__hat had been a lot easier tha__n__ he thought __it would be__._

_Tears streamed down her face as she clutched the wheel furiously, her heart was shattered into a million pieces and she didn't know if she could fix it, she couldn't see straight__,__ it was like her entire world was tumbling down, everything just came crashing down to the floor the minute she saw him kissing Rebekah. Because no matter what people say, a kiss always means something._

_The minute she arrived at her house she ran as fast as she could to her bedroom, thanking __G__od that everyone was out because she just couldn't deal with anybody right now__.__S__he just wanted to be alone._

_She leaned __above__ the toilet and __threw__ up all __of __the food she__'d__ ingested __during__ the day__.__S__he felt so uneasy, like she would break __at__ any moment__.__S__he washed her mouth and look__ed at__ herself in the mirror__;__ there was no life in her eyes anymore, she left it all __at__ the grill. Her hands found the stick that was resting on the sink and watched __the two pink lines intently before she__threw__ it __at__ the mirror._

"_Why did you do this to me?" She whispered brokenly as she__ let__ herself fall __on__to the bathroom floor__.__ "Why __did __you __do__ this to us?" Her hands rested __on __top_ _of__ her belly__._

_He was going to be her support, the only one who was going to be on her side__.__H__er parents were going to hate her, they would never support her and she didn't know what to do, she just couldn't do it without him __-__ not without him._

_She didn't know how long she__'d laid__ there on the floor, crying her eyes out until she felt a pair of familiar arms __surround__ her__._

"_Elena darling__,__ what's wrong?" Isobel asked while she held her daughter on the floor__._

"_Mom please, take me away, please__.__" She answered brokenly and her mother already knew that this was about Damon__.__S__he __had__ tried her best __to keep__ her away from h__im__ but even so th__at__ man managed to destroy her child __and__ she__'d known all along that__ that was going to __happen._

"_Elena__,__ what's…" Isobel started when she saw the test on the floor __and__ she closed her eyes briefly. That was exactly what she didn't want for Elena, for her to end up like this. But she was going to protect her daughter, and that boy was not going to hurt her anymore. Not ever again__.__ "Everything's going to be okay sweetheart, we'll take care of it. You're going to be okay, you'll see__.__" She kept petting her daughter's hair until she fell asleep on th__e__ bathroom floor._

* * *

><p>"Am I an awful person because I don't really want to go?" Elena said from the passenger seat as she and Stefan headed to Bobby's birthday party.<p>

"Not at all," Stefan said with a chuckle. "You just don't like that boy."

"Why don't you?" Julian asked from the back seat and Elena turned to look at him.

"I do like him, just forget that you heard that buddy." She said with a smile on her lips and the kid smiled back at her.

She had been feeling like crap since her talk with Damon, she couldn't shake the feeling that she was taking something from him, that he had the right to want Julian and he had made the decision first. She still didn't know how to approach the subject with Stefan but Damon already had it all worked out, he didn't give it a second thought.

But he didn't know Julian like she did, he couldn't understand what that kid meant to her. He'd known him for a few days and he already wanted to adopt him, but that was stupid and besides, what was he going to do with a kid? Elena touched her belly softly and her mind was plagued with images of Damon holding their baby, of the two of them holding a beautiful baby girl with blue eyes, the baby girl that was taken away from her, the one she lost. He would have been a great parent for their daughter, she knew that.

"Are you okay?" Stefan asked with a frown. She gave him a reassuring smile and kept looking through the window.

"I'm perfect."

She didn't want to see Damon, she really didn't. But she knew that her aunt had invited him, Miranda had always had a soft spot for Damon and since Alaric was going with Jenna he would be there for sure.

Julian was holding her hand and Stefan was walking beside them. They spotted Damon, he was with Ric, Jenna and another girl Elena recognized as Andie Star, one of her aunt's friends. The girl was deliberately flirting with Damon and Elena felt her blood boiling inside of her at the sight.

"Look, there's Damon, let's go and say Hi." Julian said enthusiastically and started running towards the blue eyed man. Stefan arched a brow and looked at Elena.

"They bonded, don't ask me why." She answered sardonically. Her mind was still playing tricks on her and showing her different ways to kill Andie.

"Elena, I'm so glad you came." Miranda said the minute she spotted her.

"I wasn't going to miss it for anything in the world." Elena answered with a smile, she couldn't stand Bobby but her aunt was one of her favorite people in the world, so she was glad to be there for her.

"Where's Bobby?" Stefan said with a smile and Miranda nodded towards the yard where he was playing with the other kids. Elena was able to see that Julian had already joined them and couldn't help but smile at the sight of how easily he could fit in.

"Well then, we'll just leave this here." Stefan said, taking the box that had the gift they had gotten for the little boy and placed it on the table where the cake was.

"Now you two, come with me. There's a lot of wedding stuff that we want to talk to you about." Miranda said, taking the two of them by the hands and leading them to the table where Elena's parents were seated at.

Julian was enjoying himself. He liked to be around people - maybe that was why he always felt comfy at the orphanage - and he'd found that the kids here were really nice. Plus, he got to see Damon, and he really liked that.

He was really glad that Elena convinced Lady Beth to let him come with her, he knew that he'd been out of the orphanage a lot lately and that the other kids would get jealous, but he really liked being around Elena.

"So, who are you?" The birthday boy said, approaching him with some other kids behind him.

"My name is Julian and I came here with Elena." He said smiling, but frowned when the boy didn't return his smile.

"Oh, so you're the orphan." The boy said in an amused tone and the kids behind him started to laugh.

Julian never felt ashamed of being an orphan, some part of him always wanted to understand why his parents decided to leave him, something inside of him always kept asking him if there was something wrong with him that had forced them to do it. He had listened to Lady Beth and Elena talking about something wrong with his heart so he didn't know if that was the reason why his parents left him all alone, but never, not even once had he felt ashamed of being a part of the orphanage. That was until now, when he saw the disgust on the face of the children in front of him, looking at him like he was a bug or something.

"You must feel lucky that my cousin felt pity on you and brought you here." The kid said with a smirk on his face.

"Elena cares about me." Julian answered looking deeply into Bobby's eyes.

"That's what you think?" The kid said and rolled his eyes. "Don't be dumb that's her job, she would never pay any attention to you if that wasn't that case."

"That is not true." Julian said, getting closer to Bobby.

"You know it's the truth, nobody cares about you." The blond child knew that tears were going to come at any minute but instead of letting the other kids watch him cry he pushed Bobby as hard as he could and watched him fall to the ground.

"You are so going to regret that." Bobby said and got up while the other kids started to form a circle around them.

Bobby threw Julian to the floor with the help of two of his friends and started kicking him as hard as he could while saying nasty things to him. He kept repeating that nobody wanted him and that he was just trouble for the world, that Elena would never love him and that he was all alone in the world.

"That is enough!" The hard voice of Damon Salvatore echoed in Julian's ears and he opened his eyes. He saw him take Bobby by the collar of his shirt and pushed him away from him.

Damon shot a deadly glare to the kid and saw his face turn from rage to fear in one second. "Julian has someone who loves him and who's going to protect him. Do you understand?" He said coldly to Bobby and the kid couldn't do anything but nod, still scared by the expression on Damon's face.

"What's going on here?" Miranda said with distress in her voice as she got close and saw the scene, Elena and Stefan right behind her.

"What's wrong is that maybe you want to show your kid some manners and teach him to be more humble." Miranda just didn't know what to say and Elena felt a small smile creeping onto her face at Damon's reaction, he was so protective of Julian.

"Are you okay buddy?" Damon asked, kneeling onto the floor and helping Julian stand up. His eyes softened at the sight of the kid. "Come on, let's get you home." Julian clutched Damon's hand tightly, knowing that as long as he was with him nothing bad was going to happen.

"You know I think you are a great person and I have no doubt that you are an amazing mother, but that one here," Damon said, pointing at Bobby. "Is a spoiled little brat." He said before turning around and started walking towards the exit. Miranda stood glued to the floor, a shocked expression on her face while on the other hand both Elena and Stefan couldn't help but smile at Damon boldness, he was the only one able to say something like that to the kid's mother.

"Stefan, I have to go after him, I'm the one who brought him here." Elena said to her fiancée and he nodded in return, knowing that Elena was going to feel terrible for what had just happened. So he watched her go after the kid… and his brother.

Damon got Julian in his car and went to say goodbye to Ric and Jenna before leaving the party, but Elena found him before he could.

"Damon, I just wanted to thank you-"

"What the hell were you thinking?" Her words were cut off immediately by the enraged voice of Damon Salvatore.

"What do you mean?" Elena answered, feeling confused by his response. She had not been expecting that.

"Bringing him here, so soon. To your stupid, brat of a cousin's party." Damon spat in her face; he knew that he was being irrational, there was no way that she could have foreseen this but he just couldn't stand the sight of Julian getting hurt by some bully.

"How was I supposed to know that this was going to happen?" She answered, throwing her hands up in the air.

"Well you should have." He said simply and started walking once again.

"Damon, wait a second, what the hell-"

"You asked for him. You came to my house and said that you needed him and look at what you did. He's been with you for one day and you already managed to hurt him." There was venom coming out of his mouth and Elena felt her heart breaking at the words he was saying.

"I never meant to…"

"But you did. You claim that you love him and yet, you let other people hurt him."

"I do love him. Don't ever question that." She answered hardly. She was not going to stand Damon like this, he was not going to treat her like this.

"Yeah right, you never wanted to fight for him. You never wanted him until you saw that I was going to have him." He accused her hardly. Elena couldn't believe what he was saying. Where was the loving and caring Damon she saw the other night, the one who actually understood her?

"That is not true Damon, you know it's not like that. I love him-"

"I love him too. But you know what? I'm already used to this." He shook his head and looked down. There was no more anger inside him, just disappointment, Elena could see it in his eyes. "So congratulations Elena, thanks for taking everything away from me, again." He whispered and without another word he walked towards the house, leaving a shocked Elena behind.

He was doing that for her. He gave Julian up because he knew he was going to help her keep her sanity. But then, who was going to help him keep his? Why was he giving up on everything once again? And that was when the anger started to grow inside of him, he couldn't believe the power Elena Gilbert had over him and that was what disturbed him the most. He would do anything for her and she wasn't even thankful for it. Yet again, she was destroying his entire world.

* * *

><p>In another life I would be your girl<br>We'd keep all our promises  
>Be us against the world<p>

In another life  
>I would make you stay<br>So I don't have to say  
>You were the one that got away<br>The one that got away

.

.

**_April 4, 2003_**

_Ok__,__ that was it, he was not going to stand one more minute without her. __It__ had been more than two weeks and he just wasn't going to put up __with__ her mother anymore. What shocked __him __the most was the fact that Elena hadn't called him. Sure__,__ she couldn't come and see him but what about a call o__r__ a text, she could do that__,__ right?_

_He got into his car and started driving to her house__;__ he didn't care if her mother __had__ learn__t__ the truth__,__ he was determin__ed__ to see her, so he was going to see her._

_Damon knocked __on the door __softly and __when __Isobel opened __it__ immediately __with__ a hard look in h__er__ eyes__,__ something inside of him told him that there was something wrong here._

"_What do you want__,__ Damon?" She said__,__ crossing her arms __over__ her chest__._

"_I want to see Elena__.__" He answered with no hesitation. At this point he couldn't care less i__f__ Isobel __knew__ the truth, he could __tell that__ something was going on here and he was determin__ed__ to find out what._

"_I'm__ sorry Damon__,__ but that is not possible__.__" _

"_What do you mean? I need to see her__.__" He said with panic __i__n his voice and tried to go __through__ the door__,__ but Isobel didn't __allow__ it__._

"_She's not here Damon, she's gone__.__" She spoke the words softly and Damon felt his entire world __start__ spinning in that moment__._

"_What are you talking about? What did you do?" He said in a desperate tone. __N__ow he knew that Isobel already knew everything __that had happened __between Elena and him and she was trying to break them apart__._

"_She's very far away Damon, she and Jeremy went to boarding school__.__"_

"_Why? Why did you do something like that __to her__?" His mind was already trying to find __out__ ways to figure out where she was, where they had taken her__._

"_She doesn't want __anything to do with__ you Damon__.__" _

"_You're lying__!__" He spat angrily at her__._

"_I'm not, she left a letter for you__.__" Isobel went inside the house for a moment and came back with a white sheet of paper that was __sealed__ in an envelope and handed it to Damon__.__ "I have no idea what happened between you two but she agree__d__ to leave, we didn't force her Damon, you should know __that.__" _

_Isobel closed the door and left Damon standing there, shock still evident on his face. This couldn't be happening__,__ Elena couldn't be away __at boarding school__, she was everything __to__ him__.__H__ow was he suppose__d__ to go on without her__?__H__e just couldn't. He walked back to his car and pulled out __the white__ sheet of paper__._

**'_Dear__Damon__,_'**

**_I'm sorry that you have to hear__about__ my decision like this, but I think__ it's for__ the best. It was never my intention to hurt you, but I truly believe this is how things should end._**

**_I tried to change you, to turn you into something you're not and that was my biggest mistake, you are never going to change Damon, you're never going to be the__ person__ that I want and__ who__ is best for me, so I think that __it would be for__ the best if we just stay apart._**

**_It was all an illusion Damon, I thought I__ loved__ you, but I guess it was what I wanted to__believe__. T__hings between us were just a dream, this is not what I want for__ my__ life. You are not what I want for my life. _**

**_Please don't look for me, this is for the best. I'm sorry that__ we had__ to end up like this__._**

**_Take care__._**

**_-Elena-_**

_Damon couldn't believe what __he __was reading, his Elena was saying goodbye to him__. S__he said that she didn't love him and that they should stay apart. That couldn't be true; he knew __that__ she loved him__.__But __why __did__ she __give__ up on him__?__ He couldn't understand why__._

_He had been right all along, she was too good for __him.__H__e was never going to be able to be with a girl like her, it was stupid to believe that she could love him._

_His phone rang and the screen flashed __with __the name of Rebekah__.__T__hat woman was crazy, just a few nights ago she kissed him __i__n the grill and now she was stalking him__.__H__e certainly didn't feel like dealing with her so he turned off h__is__ phone and __threw__ it on__to__ the back seat while tears started to fall from his blue eyes._


	11. We were merely freshmen

Ok so I'm really excited about this chapter, so I really hope you guys tell me what you think of it. In this one I made use of the Jonhy Cash song, once again, so if you are already bored of it, sorry :/ I just fell in love with it on the cold case episode **The Goodbye Room** (really great episode, you guys should totally watch it) anyway I had this chapter completely maped out since the beggining and it worked out exactly how I wanted so I hope you guys like it.

Thanks a lot to **xxxMrsSalvatorexxx** for correcting this for me :D

Please please review, I really want to know what you think about this one ;)

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><p>When I was young I knew everything<br>And she, a punk who rarely ever took advice  
>Now I'm guilt-stricken, sobbing with my head on the floor<br>Stopped a baby's breath and a shoe full of rice, no

Can't be held responsible  
>She was touching her face<br>I won't be held responsible  
>She fell in love in the first place<p>

**The Freshmen –The Verve Pipe-**

.

.

**_September 1, 2003_**

_Elena caressed her six __month old__ pregnant belly absently while she watched some TV __at night.__S__he had dreamt about him once again, it was so __vivid__, she __could still __feel the taste of his lips on her mouth. A single teardrop fell from her eyes at the memory__._

"_You okay Lena?" The worried voice of Jeremy brought her out __of__ her dream__._

"_Yeah__,__ I'm fine__.__" She said__,__ wiping her eyes clean__._

"_Yeah__,__ I can see__ that.__" He said with a roll of his eyes and s__at on__ the floor in front of her__._

_She hated what she was making him go through, this was her mistake not his. He was fourteen, he shouldn't be going through all of this. Their parents had sent them both to Boston, __where__ John's parents lived. They didn't want the society of Mystic Falls to know about their daughter__'s__ indiscretion and for them th__is__ was the best solution. Elena hadn't complain__ed__ at all because __it__ seemed like the best way out for her, she needed to be as far __away __as __possible__ from Damon._

_Sometimes she wondered if they were going to let her go back, they took her __here__ because they didn't __want__ people to know, but what __were__ they going to say when she and Jeremy went back to Mystic Falls with a baby in __her __arms? She guessed they were still trying to figure out that part._

"_You see__,__ there's something that I still can't understand__.__" Jeremy stated__,__ looking at the floor and rubbing his hands against his pants__._

"_What?" Elena asked cautiously__._

"_I know that something happened between you two, that's the reason you don't want to see him again__.__" Jeremy started talking carefully, he knew pretty __well__ that he had to avoid his name or Elena would flip and turn into an emotional mess__.__ "But why didn't __you __tell him about the baby?" His warm eyes looked at her__._

"_I don't know__.__" She admitted looking down__.__ "At that moment I was so angry and so hurt because of it, he was going to be my rock but he betray__ed__ me and I fe__lt__ like he didn't __deserve__ to know, to be a part of this__.__" She closed her eyes and caressed her belly once again__.__ "But now I think __that__ I made a huge mistake, I shouldn't have __kept__ this from him__.__" Her eyes clouded with tears and __she __started taking deep__,__ short breaths to stop them from falling__._

"_You can still work this out you know__.__" Jeremy said with a small smile. Elena knew what he was suggesting, he wanted her to call Damon and tell him everything. But she couldn't__,__ not now anyway. Maybe once the baby was born, __pl__us__,__ she couldn't handle it right now._

"_I will Jer, but just not __now__. I can__'t__ do it right now__.__" Jeremy was able to see the distress she was in, and decided to let it go. His sister was already going through so much and he didn't __want__ her to be sick again, that could be bad for the baby__._

"_Well __o__kay then__.__" He said with a small smile__.__ "What are we watching anyway?" He said__,__ turning around to face the TV screen__._

"_We are watching __re-runs__ of Lois &Clark__.__" Elena answered with a small smile__._

_Suddenly images of Damon holding their baby cloud__ed__ her mind and her heart swelled, __even __after everything she knew that he would be an amazing father. She hadn't wanted to know the baby__'s__ sex__,__ sometimes she wished it was a boy with his eyes__,__ and __other__ times she wished it was a girl with his dark hair._

_After all this time she still couldn't get it out of her head and how could she? She was carrying his baby. She couldn't wait to hold him or her, this was the most anticipated __moment__ of her entire life, no matter all __of__ the things that she went through last year and even __though__ this wasn't an ideal situation, she still wouldn't change her baby for anything in the world. She loved him or her already and the idea that a tiny person was growing inside of her enchanted her completely; she was carrying a little part of her and Damon._

_Sometimes at night she wondered what he w__as__ doing. __Did__ he miss her? __Did__ he know the reason why she left? And __on__ those nights she was overwhelmed with guilt, no matter what he did to her, he did not __deserve__ what she was doing to him. She was keeping his child away __from him__. But then the anger w__ould__ rise as well and made her realize that he didn't deserve to know about it. He promised to love her forever but he didn't, she was just a game __to__ him. Even so__,__ she was so thankful that her mother didn't reveal the truth to her father, John would have killed him if he knew that he was the father. But Isobel hadn't said a word and she wouldn't, she knew how to protect her daughter__'s__ sanity._

"_Well sis__,__ I think __it's__ time for you to go to bed__.__" Jeremy said getting up from the floor and offering his hand to her so she would be able to stand up__.__ "It's almost eleven and we want my little nephew to get __lots of__ sleep__.__" _

"_Nephew?" She asked with a raised brow__._

"_Yeah, I think __it's__ a boy__.__" _

"_We'll just have to wait to __find out.__" She answered with a smile and let him lead her to her room__._

_Once inside she put her nightgown __o__n, brushed her teeth and sat __down__ in front of the big oak boudoir to brush her long hair, she was almost done when she felt the baby kick hard at her stomach__._

"_Oh my __G__od__,__" She __placed__ her hand __on__ her belly quickly and enjoyed the feeling of her child claiming her attention__.__ "I guess you really don't want to sleep__,__ huh?" A big smile played __o__n her features__.__ "How about a song?" _

_She got up from the chair and climbed into the bed__,__ resting her head against the headboard while still caressing her belly__;__ she felt it kick once again and she couldn't help but __wonder__ about __the__ little life growing inside __of __her. _

_._

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine._

_You make me happy when skies are gray_

_You'll never know dear how much I love you._

_Please don't take my sunshine away_

_._

_Tears started to fall from her eyes when the song left her lips, she didn't know why but she sang it to the baby almost every night, the pain was just too much. _

_Sometimes she wondered how her life turned out this way, this wasn't in her plan, never supposed to happen, in a matter of minutes her life started to crumble down, the only thing that let her keep going was her child; she was going to overcome everything for it__:__ the heartache, the rejection of her parents, the bad looks __from__ society__.__S__he was going to overcome everything for the life growing inside of her._

* * *

><p>My best friend took a week's vacation to forget her<br>His girl took a week's worth of valium and slept  
>And now he's guilt-stricken, sobbing<br>With his head on the floor  
>Thinks about her now and how he never really wept<p>

.

.

_He stared at the ceiling, like he was hoping that there was some answer hidden in there. After six months he still couldn't believe that everything __had__ turned out this way._

_For the first time in his life he __had left__ his heart __out__ in the open, he had given __all__ of himself to someone__.__H__e let himself feel and now everything __had turned into__ pain, __nothing__ else matter__ed__. In that moment Damon Salvatore swore that no woman would be able to hurt him that way again, he wouldn't let them. And it's not l__ike__ they would be able to… you can't break a broken heart, and his was shattered. But even so, he couldn't stop his head __from__ going to her. Where __is__ she? What __is__ she doing? Is she okay? Is she happy?... D__oes__ she miss me? Damon couldn't understand how he still had feelings __for__ the brunette girl, she gave up on them, on him. She left __him__ alone, __left him when he was__ broken__.__H__e should hate her, hate her with every fiber of his being but he couldn't, he knew that if she returned home to him right now he would forgive her without question, because he couldn't live without __her__, he just couldn't._

_He stretched his arm __out__ to the night stand and took the bottle of bourbon that was resting __o__n there__.__H__e drank straight from the bottle, almost __choking__ himself __in__ the position he was in, but he didn't care, nothing mattered anymore._

"_Damon__,__ are you okay?" He heard the soft voice of his little brother but he couldn't care less, they had been bugging him for weeks, wondering what was wrong with him like they care__.__H__e knew that __no-one__ in his family cared about him, __no-one.__ The only person he thought cared about him was long gone now._

"_Go away Stefan__!__" He shouted and Stefan flinched at his words once again. He couldn't understand what was happening with his brother and he was truly concerned. He hadn't seen Damon like this in his whole life. He had been drowning himself in alcohol for the __past few__ months and he wanted to find a way to help him but __he__ didn't know how. What shocked him the most was the fact that his father seemed oblivious to it, it was like __he__ really didn't care __about__ what was going on with his elder son's life._

_Sometimes Stefan wondered if his brother__'s__ state of mind had anything to do with the fact that Elena Gilbert was gone, he __had__ heard that she left for boarding school__.__H__e saw them spend time together over the summer but that was it, he wasn't sure that there was something between them and he prayed_ _to G__od that __there wasn't__ because he had his own feelings towards her and he would never compete with his brother for a girl, Damon mattered more than anything in the world to him._

_Everything became quiet once again and Damon breath__ed__ in relief, he __had__ finally left him alone. Why couldn't Stefan understand that he wanted to be alone? That __he __couldn't stand being with anyone at the moment__?_

"_Damon__,__ this can't continue__.__" Karen's soft voice __said__ and he lifted his head to see her standing __in the doorway._

"_What do you want? Just go__!__" He replied harshly but she did not budge. She closed the door and walked towards the bed__._

"_You can talk to me you __k__now__.__" She said in a warm voice and took a seat __o__n his bed__._

"_Don't pretend you're my mother__.__" Damon answered__,__ giving her a hard glare__._

"_I'm not trying to do that Damon, I know that I'm not your mother and that you're never going to see me that way, that's not what I want__.__" Her warm green eyes looked at him with love__.__ "I just want to be a friend__.__"_

"_I don't need friends__.__" _

"_Yes you do. We all need a friend__.__" She put __her__ hand __on__ top of his and removed it immediately__.__ "This is because of Elena__,__ right?" She said in a whisper__._

"_What?" Damon's eyes widened at the mention of her name and he immediately sat up __i__n the bed__._

"_Your father is too busy to notice but I__'m not.__" He stared at her__, eyes__ open wide and a soft smile appeared on her lips__.__ "You love her__,__ right?"_

"_I…" He didn't know how to answer. He had been putting __his__ feelings inside __of__ him for so long and after hearing her say it he just couldn't get a grip o__f__ himself__._

"_It's okay Damon__,__ you can tell me__.__" _

"_She left, I loved her and she left__.__" He gripped his bed sheets with his hands at the memory of the letter she __had__ left for h__im.__ "I wasn't good enough for her__.__"_

"_Don't say that__.__" She stared into his broken eyes and felt her own heart __breaking__ at the sight. This boy had been through so much __in__ his young life and the only thing he needed was __for __someone to love him back__._

"_It's just-" His eyes clouded with tears and he looked down. Karen __had__ never s__een__ him like this, __no-one had__ ever s__een__ him like this, but there was only so much pain a man could take on his own__.__ "I don't know what I'm going to do__.__" His blue tearful eyes looked at her__._

"_Oh Damon__,__" She murmured__,__ getting closer to him__.__ "Everything is going to be okay__.__" She held him tight while he kept crying like a little boy, for the first time __ever__ he was letting her show him the comfort of a mother. Of the mother she __had__ always wanted to be for them__._

"_I can't keep living without her__.__" _

"_Don't say that. Everything w__ill__ get better__,__" She stroked his dark hair while he trembled in her arms__.__ "We're here for you. We won't __leave__ you alone__.__" _

_He kept hearing the __soothing__ words she whispered to him but he couldn't understand them, he couldn't understand anything. The only thing he knew for certain was that he would never be the same man after Elena Gilbert._

* * *

><p>For the life of me<br>I cannot remember  
>What made us think that we were wise<p>

And we'd never compromise  
>For the life of me<br>I cannot believe we'd ever die  
>For these sins<br>We were merely freshmen  
>We were merely freshmen<br>We were only freshmen

.

.

_**September 28, 2003**_

_Elena opened her eyes slowly and found herself surrounded by white walls, her head was throbbing with pain and she felt needles connected to her arms. Her throat was dry so when she attempted to talk the only thing that came out was a soft whimper. _

_Panic attacked her when she felt a sharp pain at her lower stomach and she immediately __placed__ both of her hands there. She knew something was wrong, she could feel it. Her baby was no longer there._

"_Help__.__" It came out as a strangled whisper but she didn't stop__,__ she continued repeating it while she struggled to free herself f__rom__ the machines she was __connected to._

_Two nurses rushed into her room after a couples of seconds and held her to the bed, reassuring her that everything was going to be okay__. S__he was hysterical and didn't stop calling after her baby. Isobel came into the room and she instantly __felt__ relie__ved -__ if her mother was there that meant that nothing could be wrong__._

"_Mom__,__" She said with tears in her eyes__.__ "What happened, where's my baby?"_

"_Elena darling, what __do __you remember?" Her mother said__,__ taking a seat next to her __o__n the bed__.__S__he __had calmed down__ enough so the nurses excused themselves and left Isobel to deal with the girl__._

"_Jeremy and I were driving with __Pops__; we went to the market…" She closed her eyes trying to shut __out __the pain in her head and felt her mother's hand squeezing hers__.__ "…Then there was this truck, we didn't see it. It just crashed __into__ us__.__" F__rantic__ sobs left her mouth at the memory__.__ "__M__om__,__ what happened?" _

_Isobel caressed her forehead softly and pressed a kiss __to__ her hand__.__ "Elena__,__ you've been out for three days__.__" A soft gasp left Elena's lips__.__ "Jeremy hasn't woken up yet, but the doctors said that he would be okay, we just have to wait. You grandfather is absolutely fine__.__" She __said__ with a small smile but __was__ still being cautious, something that Elena didn't like at all__._

"_What about my baby?" She said in a soft whisper__,__ looking deeply into her mother's eyes__._

"_They had to __give__ you an emergency C-section__,__" Elena tightened her hold __on __her mother__'s__ hand__.__ "It was a baby girl__.__" _

"_Was?"_

"_Darling, she was very small and very __weak.__ And the impact-"_

"_No__.__" Elena cut her off immediately__.__ "No__,__ that's not true, I know it isn't. Where's my baby?" She shouted at her mother while tears fell from her eyes__._

"_Elena, she didn't make it sweetheart__.__" Isobel's heart was breaking __at__ seeing her daughter like this, but she knew that the sooner she accepted it, __the__ better. This was the best __thing__ for her._

"_No, you're lying. I want my baby. She's not dea__d__, I can feel it. I know she_ _isn't__!_"_ Elena continued screaming hysterically__._

"_Elena, __E__lena sweetheart__,__" Isobel took her face __in__between both of her hands__.__ "I know this is hard for you to accept… but it's the truth__.__"_

"_I wanna see her__!__" Her voice broke __down__ at the end and Isobel had to stop her own tears __from__ coming__._

"_That's not going to be possible, she's already been buried__.__" Elena's eyes widened in horror at her mother's response__._

"_How could you?" _

"_You were out for 3 days, we didn't __know__ when were you going to wake up. We needed to do something with the body-" Elena covered her ears with her hands__,__ not wanting to hear another word com__e__ out of Isobel's mouth__._

"_Elena__-__"_

"_Get out__.__" Her voice was hard and void of any emotion__._

"_Sweetheart__,__" Isobel caressed her hair softly__._

"_I said get out!" Elena shouted at the top of her lungs__.__ "I wanna be alone; I don't want to see anyone__!__" _

_Isobel tried to speak again but realized that the best_ _thing__ was for her to be alone while she processed everything that had happened. It was a lot to take in after all__._

_Elena heard the door closing and la__id__ down into a fetal position, not really caring about the pain in her stomach. The sobs were racking her tiny body as she clutched the bed sheet tightly__._

_This couldn't be happening; it had to be some kind of dream. Her baby couldn't be taken away from her__. S__he felt a __hole__ in her chest and she wasn't sure how she was going to close it. She felt empty; the only __thing__ that made __her happier these__ days was gone. How was she supposed to go on with__out__ it? She had loved her baby since the minute she knew she was carrying it, what was she going to do now with all __of__ that love? How was she supposed to keep __on__ living without it?_

**'**_If you were with me tonight,__I'd__ sing to you just one more time… A song for a heart so big…__God__ wouldn't let it__live__**.' **__She sang softly to herself while tears kept falling from her eyes__._

_A baby girl, she could picture her now__:__ Dark hair and blue eyes just like her father. She would have been beautiful and now she wasn't even going to meet her. Why was __G__od being so unfair __to__ her? What right __did he have that allowed him to mess__ with her life? _

_This would never ha__ve__ happened if things had go__ne__ as she __had__ planned, if he didn't betray her she would have stayed in Mystic Falls, he would have support__ed__ her and taken care of them. Her baby girl would still be with her__.__I__t was his entire fault. Everything bad that __had__ happened in her life was because of him. And for the first time in her whole life, Elena Gilbert wished she had never __met__ Damon Salvatore._


	12. He's more myself than I am

_So, new chapter here. Just want to thank everyone who's reading this. You guys are awsome, I couldn't be more grateful with you ;) Hope you enjoy, also thanks a lot to xxxMrsSalvatorexxx because she's a life saviour :D so thanks for being a great beta :D_

* * *

><p><em>It would degrade me to marry Heathcliff now; <em>

_So he shall never know how I love him._

_And that, not because he's handsome, Nelly, _

_But because he's more myself than I am._

_Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same._

_And Linton's is as different as a moonbeam from lightning, or frost from fire._

**_Wuthering Heights –Emily Bronte-_**

**_._**

**_._**

"Bonnie!" Elena shouted out loud and immediately ran to her friend who was now standing in her doorframe. "God, I've missed you so much." She held onto her tightly with a big smile plastered onto her face.

"I've missed you too Lena." Bonnie answered, matching her excitement perfectly.

"I can't believe you're here." Elena said, still clinging to one of her best friends.

"Well I wasn't planning on missing your wedding, you dumbass." She answered with a smile on her face. She felt Elena shift in her embrace and released her immediately. "Okay, what's wrong?"

"What are you talking about? Nothing's wrong."

"Yeah right," Bonnie said with a roll of her eyes. "I've know you since kindergarten; I know when there's something going on with you."

At that moment Elena hated the way Caroline and Bonnie could read her so easily, it was just like they knew her better than she knew herself.

"Well a lot has happened since you were here last time." Elena whispered and looked down.

"Hmm, and a lot is called Damon Salvatore." Bonnie said with a raised eyebrow as she looked at her best friend. "Come on Lena, we really need to catch up." She took her hand between hers and moved her towards the living room, she was not going to let this go, there was something wrong with Elena and she had to know what it was.

* * *

><p>"Thanks for coming with me to pick up the suit, Care." Stefan said as he drove back to Mystic Falls.<p>

It turns out that the store had made a mistake and had sent his wedding suit to Atlanta so in order to get it back he had to drive himself over there. He wouldn't be going to this much trouble if he didn't like it that much, plus he was sure that Elena was going to love it, or at least that was what he was hoping for.

"It's okay Stefan, you know I love road trips." Caroline chirped happily while she moved her head at the sound of 'Super Bass' on the radio.

"I seriously don't know what I would do without you, it seems to me that until last week we didn't have anything ready but you managed to finish it all on time." He gave her a warm smile and her heart melted instantly.

"Well, I just want the best for my two friends." She answered with a fake smile and turned her attention to the radio once again.

"Caroline, can I ask you something?" Stefan said in a soft voice while she kept paying attention to the lyrics of the music.

"Of course." She said in a sing song voice.

"Do you think Elena loves me?" The question came out so bluntly that Caroline sat still for a few seconds, trying to see if her brain had actually registered the words correctly.

"I'm sorry, what?" Her shocked blue eyes met his green ones across the car.

"You heard what I said, it's just I don't know, I've been feeling weird about her lately, you know?" He took a deep breath and fixated his eyes on the road. "It's like she's slipping from my fingers, she's distant lately and I can't stop thinking that this behavior started since the engagement party, you know, around the time Damon came back to town."

Shit. Shit. Shit. Why does this have to happen to her? Why did he decide to bring that subject up at this precise moment, what the hell was she going to tell him? The truth, that Elena was madly in love with his brother? Why was fate putting her under such a horrible predicament?

"Why would you think that this has anything to do with Damon? Maybe she's just nervous you know, this is a big step after all." Caroline gave him the best answer she could think of. Despite the fact that they were giving her the chance to break free from everything right now, she couldn't do it, she was not going to break his heart into a million pieces. Plus this wasn't her place, if someone should tell him about Elena's feelings for Damon, that should be down to the brunette girl herself, she was the only one with the right to say it.

"That's what I've been telling myself but It's just... I guess I've always felt a little insecure, Damon and Elena got close the summer we met and I'm not stupid, I know that there was something between them, I just don't know how big."

Oh boy, if only you knew. Apparently Stefan wasn't as clueless as everyone thought, he was just too scared to find out the answer himself. Caroline hated people right now, they just kept making messes in their heads and refused to see the truth, they were all just too scared. The irony of the situation was that she was just as scared as the rest of them.

"I think you're over thinking this too much." She tried to dismiss his thought; she knew that it wasn't fair but it was all she could do for him right now.

"I guess so." He said in a whisper and she was surprised at how easily he dropped the subject, but it was probably only because of his own fear of finding out the truth.

In the near distance Caroline spotted a bar where Damon once brought her, Elena and Bonnie. Since the girls were their alibi they had to take them almost everywhere when they were out.

"Pull over." She said with determination in her voice.

"What?" Stefan asked and gave her a confused look.

"At the bar, pull over." She said more insistently. "I think you need some time out."

"I couldn't agree more." He said with a small smile while reducing the speed.

That's what he loved about hanging out with Caroline, she just made his life easy: she was funny, witty, lovely, being around her was fresh and easy and no matter what was going on inside of his head she could always make it better for him.

* * *

><p>"Okay, so what did Stefan say when you mentioned Julian?" Bonnie said carefully while looking at Elena.<p>

They were now in the living room, sitting Indian style in front of each other with different kinds of food surrounding them. According to Bonnie, Elena always talked better when she was eating.

"Well he said yes, he said that he would be happy to adopt him," Elena bit into her slice of pizza before continuing. "But I don't know… It's just, I didn't feel like he was convinced to do it, it felt like a burden, like he was only doing it because I wanted for him to want that."

Bonnie looked intently at her while eating her Doritos. "And how do you feel about that?" She said once Elena finished.

"Bad, I don't want Julian to be a burden for him, he's not for me, I love him." She dropped her pizza into the box and rubbed her hands against her jeans. "Plus Damon really wanted him because he cared about the kid and I feel like the most horrible person in the world for taking that away from him."

"You are not a horrible person sweetie, you're just human." Bonnie looked at her kindly. "And look, I know Caroline already told you this and you didn't listen to her, and well, you know that I'm not a big Damon fan so I'm making a big effort here." Elena smiled a bit at the mention of how much Bonnie disliked Damon and let her friend continue. "You can't marry someone for the wrong reasons Lena, you're getting married in two days and you have all these doubts and thoughts scattered around your head - that's not normal." She took Elena's hands and gave them a light squeeze. "I can't imagine how hard it was for you… to loose your baby but honey, Damon was not guilty of that - those things just happen, it was no one's fault, so you just have to stop blaming him for something that he didn't do and you need to come clean with him because keeping so many secrets is killing you inside."

Bonnie looked with sympathy at the sad face of Elena, she could still remember the times when she was happy, when she could smile and be care-free and she hated to admit it but those were the times when she was with Damon. After him everything had been sad and gray for her, yes, when Stefan showed up there was some sunlight in her life again, but not enough, she was never the same after it.

And even when she didn't particularly like Damon, she loved Elena and Bonnie knew that the only way she could be happy was by being with the man she loved, and that person was Damon Salvatore.

"I just don't know what to do Bonnie," She said in a soft voice. "I mean, no matter what I do someone gets hurt. I can't do this to Stefan, he loves me and he helps me overcome a lot of things and I just owe this to him."

"Okay, and what happens when you see Damon on the wedding day, huh?" Bonnie looked at her and waited for an answer but she didn't get one. "You've been avoiding him for the last three weeks and that's fine but what happens when you see him again?"

Elena knew that she was being irrational here, gratitude wasn't enough reason to marry Stefan. Then why was it so hard to let go of him? Was it the feeling of safeness that he gave her? Was it the guilt of loving his brother? She didn't know what it was but it was keeping her attached to him.

She loved him and that was for sure, no matter if Caroline, Bonnie and Damon didn't believe her, the truth was that she loved Stefan, she loved his funny side and his serious one. He could make her laugh and he could make her feel better, being with him was as easy as breathing. The difference was that no matter whether she loved him or not, she didn't need him, what made him so different from Damon was that being away from him would be hard, maybe for a few days but after that she could easily get over it, if she stayed with him then they could be happy. Her love for him would grow and change and they would lead a normal and safe life.

But Damon, he was something else. Her love for him consumed her, devoured her. She needed him like she needed air and she would never be complete without him. Damon owned a part of her that no one could possibly touch. Being away from him would eat at her slowly - of that she had proof already - she could never be 100% happy without him. If she stayed with him they would fight and make up, they would hate each other to death and love each other with the same intensity, they would live their lives being happy and passionate and they could never have it easy but they would always be alright.

Damon was a part of her, she could never love another like him and that was what scared her the most, the intensity of her love for him, because once you gave a person so much power over yourself they could destroy you very easily.

"Please tell me what you're thinking." Bonnie's voice brought her out of her thoughts.

"I'm confused."

"Yeah, I figured that much." Her best friend said in a mocking tone.

"Bonnie, I don't really know what to do. My head is such a mess; I love Stefan but I also love Damon, I don't want to hurt either of them. And a part of me doesn't know if I'm ever going to get over the loss of my child, and Damon is always going to be linked to that." Elena admitted to her best friend.

"And marrying his brother wouldn't?" She said with a raised brow. "Elena, like I say you have to stop blaming Damon for it and you have to tell him the truth, you guys need to mourn this together, it was his loss too, even if he doesn't know it." Bonnie was right and Elena knew it, yet her stupid brain didn't seem to listen her.

"What do you think I should do?" Elena asked with a trembling voice.

"It doesn't matter what I think, this is about what you feel." She stated looking deeply into her friend's eyes. Bonnie took hold of both of her hands once again. "I know you Elena and you're stubborn brain has already made it's decision, nothing's gonna change your mind." Elena looked down to their linked hands as a tear slipped along her cheek. "This has been the problem with you all this time, your brain is always in conflict with your heart. But just make sure that you're doing what you're doing for the right reasons."

Bonnie hated to see the mess Elena had gotten herself into, this could be so easy if for once she listened to her heart and not other parts of her body: not her ears, her eyes or her brain - just her heart, there she would find the answer, but she knew her friend and Elena was even more irrational than her, she would try to please everyone and do the right thing, not the thing she wanted.

And that eventually was going to become the worst decision of her life.

* * *

><p>Stefan had lost count of the number of beers he had consumed, the only thing he knew was that he hadn't felt this happy in a long time. He ordered his next one and drank greedily from the bottle.<p>

He heard a soft voice singing near him and turned to see the bubbly Caroline Forbes singing and dancing to the music, yes, this definitely had been the best idea the girl had in a while.

'_Take it __to__ the good times, see it through the bad times. Whatever it takes is what I'm gonna do__,__' _Caroline was singing at the top of her lungs while she twirled around in her beautiful pink dress.

'_Let them say we're crazy. What do they know? Put your arms around me, baby, don't ever let go__.__' _Stefan sang along while approaching her; she gave him a megawatt smile and took his hand, leading him to the dance floor.

'_And we can build this thing together, stand in stone forever, nothing's gonna stop us now__.__' _They both sang to the music while they danced together in that small bar, his hands resting on her hips as she swayed them to the sound of the music.

Her lavender scent was attacking his nostrils, overshadowing all other nasty smells he could find in that bar. Her hair smelt like freesias and he couldn't remember a more beautiful smell in that moment.

"_And if this world runs out of lovers, we'll still have each other, nothing's gonna stop us now__.__" _Caroline sang softly with a big smile on her face.

"Please, let's go outside." He murmured in her ear and she looked at him confused but let him drag her out anyway, she would do anything for him, plus, her brain wasn't in complete control at the moment.

Stefan couldn't understand why but suddenly a raw need of being alone with Caroline invaded him. It was probably the alcohol taking over his body but he couldn't fight it off, it was much stronger than he was.

Caroline felt dizzy the moment the cold air of the night hit her, she felt Stefan hands drag her somewhere and the next thing she knew he had her pinned against the wall of the back alley and his mouth was persistent on hers.

"Stefan what the-" She tried to speak but her voice was muffled by his lips on hers. She tried to fight it, oh damn she did but after all, this was what she had been craving all along, for him to see her this way so she did the only thing she could - surrender to it.

Her mouth parted and his tongue sneaked inside her mouth, tasting her, molding to hers. Both of his hands were braced against the wall and she started to run hers across his chest. She may be feeling a little dizzy but this was the best feeling she had ever experienced, her need for him only grew bigger by the second and she knew that if he didn't stop she wasn't going to be able to.

His kisses started descending towards her neck while she let out a moan of pleasure at the feel of his tongue on her pulse point; his hands were on her waist now, pulling her closer to him.

"Oh my," Caroline let out a breathless moan and his hand cupped her bottom and pressed her against his erection, for the life of her she couldn't believe that this was happening.

"Caroline..." He breathed against her chest while she tangled her hands in his sandy locks. He pulled the straps of her dress down revealing her creamy breasts to him; his eyes looked at her with hunger and she felt her entire body heating up under his stare.

He attacked her mouth once again while her naked chest rubbed deliciously against his clothed one, his hips thrusted unconsciously against her, keeping her in place. At that moment his lower body was the only thing keeping that dress on her.

His mouth descended once again and took one of her nipples inside his mouth, earning a sharp intake of breath from her. She gripped his shoulders tightly while his tongue twirled around the hardened peak.

She got lost in the sensation of his mouth on her, she had been waiting for this moment practically her entire life, since that moment she saw him with _Elena's new friend_, she had loved him since the first time her eyes found him in that school so many years ago and she couldn't believe that this was happening. Something at the back of her mind kept telling her that this was the worst thing she could do at the moment but she couldn't care less, she wasn't listening to her thoughts anymore, she couldn't think so she pushed that voice even more deep inside of her, refusing to listen to it.

Caroline heard the sound of a zipper and the next thing she knew Stefan was inside of her and she was sure that nothing in her life had ever felt more perfect than this. Being in the back alley of a bar wasn't what she had in mind for their first time but it didn't mean any less, she was loving every minute of it - the chance to finally be one with him.

"Oh god, Caroline..." He murmured against her neck while he kept thrusting hardly against her, both of her legs around his waist and her hands tangled in his hair. Her back was scraping against the wall but she didn't care, she would stand the pain willingly.

After just a few more moments she felt the familiar twirl in her stomach, indicating that her release was close. She grabbed his face between her hands and locked eyes with him for a moment before the emotion was too much that she had to close them.

"Oh, oh, oh!" She was being too loud but she didn't care, the most amazing was feeling was going through her body at the moment. Stefan's mouth on hers silenced her moans immediately and moments later she felt him shudder and empty himself inside of her. They stood still for a moment still trying to recover. After a few seconds he let her down gently and steadied her by the waist. His green eyes bored into her blue eyes, both of them wondering about what the hell had just happened.


	13. I got used to living without you

**__Disclaimer: I own none of the characters from 'The Vampire Diaries' You all know who the credit goes.__**

Hello again :) Well new chapter is here and I'm actually really happy about how it turned out, this was not the way I had it planned but once I started writting I just couldn't stop. Please take it easy with Elena I know she's being stupid and all but she's just scared, plus I'm not very happy with her character on the show so that's maybe why I'm writting her like this lol I really hope you enjoy the chapter, let me know what you think.

Also I want to thank Amy (**xxxMrsSalvatorexxx**) for helping me out with this and of course thanks to all of you wonderful people who are reading this.

* * *

><p>.<p>

_I got used to living without you__  
><em>_Endless phone calls and dreaming about you__  
><em>_Always said that you were my man to be __  
><em>_but I guess I was in love with your memory_

**_In another life- The veronicas-_**

_._

_._

"Matt says that he's sorry for losing your tie, but look, we were able to find it." Caroline said, looking down and handing the fabric to Stefan.

"Caroline-" He said in a whisper.

"No, it's okay Stefan I get it." She said before taking a deep breath. She wasn't going to cry, for the life of her she was not going to shed one more tear over Stefan Salvatore.

"I'm sorry, I never meant for things to happen like this." He said, looking down, ashamed of himself for what had happened. She couldn't deal with this anymore - she had heard that damn speech just after he fucked her against the wall of the alley, she had heard him cry and say that he was sorry but she wasn't going to take it anymore.

"But it did, it happened and we can never change that." Her stony eyes stared deeply at him. "I am a terrible friend and I'm always going to regret doing this to Elena, but I won't regret being with you."

Stefan stared at her, shocked. What the hell was that supposed to mean?

"That's it, I love you Stefan, and I probably always will but you don't deserve me." The blonde girl said each word with fierce conviction, after the way he had treated her she was beyond sure that she deserved better, not someone who used her for her body and then acted like it was the worst thing to happen on the entire planet. Stefan didn't love her and she had to deal with that.

"I don't know what to say." He was looking down, not able to face her.

"You don't have to, there's no need for anymore words," She took a breath and spoke softly. "I'm going to be there today at the aisle, right next to Elena supporting her and supporting you, even when I know that this is the biggest mistake of your life, but I will do it because she's my friend and I love her. But I'm done with doing things for you, Stefan."

He could feel her slipping through his fingers, his best friend... how could he be so stupid? He was losing her because of a moment of blind passion. Why did she love him? How could she ruin their friendship like this?

He knew that he was being unfair, she couldn't control the way she felt about him. God, he wasn't even sure how he felt about her; he cared about her, missed her and truth be told he just couldn't imagine his life without her, but that wasn't necessarily love, right? He loved Elena, he was sure of it. Then why is it so hard to let go of Caroline, why did making love to her feel so right? He just couldn't understand why all of this was happening now, when he was getting married. Stop thinking about it Salvatore, you love Elena, you know that. She makes you happy and you have to make her happy.

Sometimes he wondered if Elena's love for him was real, if she actually cared about him enough to spend the rest of their lives together. He always wished she could look at him the way she looked at his brother but always pushed that thought to the back of his mind - if she was marrying him it was because she loved him so he had to stop thinking nonsense and he had to let go of his best friend.

"Caroline please, I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen, you know that I-"

"Yes, I know that you love Elena." She said coldly. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to help my best friend go and get ready." She exited the room and ran down the stairs, wanting to be out of that house as soon as possible.

She needed air, she couldn't be close to him, not anymore, not after everything that had happened. She felt like the worst person in the world, how could she do this to Elena? Yes, she loved Damon but this was girl code, and she had broken it.

She wiped the tear that had escaped from her eye and climbed into her car. This is it. The big day is here and with that thought in mind she started driving towards Elena's house.

* * *

><p><em>.<em>

_I know I said that I would keep my word__  
><em>_I wished that I could save you from the hurt__  
><em>_But things will never go back to how we were__  
><em>_I'm sorry I can't be your world_

_._

_._

Elena Gilbert looked at herself in the mirror in her bedroom; she was in her childhood house, getting ready for the most important day of her life. She was beyond beautiful: her dress was simple but gorgeous, the waist line was made of small silver incrustations and the dress itself was made of the most extraordinary lace she had ever seen. It wasn't anything dramatic or too flashy, it was just simple.

Her hair was tied up at the back in a delicate bun and she wasn't wearing a veil. Caroline had kept her makeup light just like she had asked which really amazed Elena; this was the first time the blond girl did something as she was told.

"You look amazing, Elena." Caroline said in a soft voice and with a smile gracing across her lips but even so, there was a trace of sadness in her blue eyes.

"Caroline, are you okay?" The brunette girl asked, turning slowly from the mirror to look at her best friend.

"I'm perfect Lena." She lied the best she could, truth be told this was the worst day of her life but she wasn't going to ruin her best friend's day.

"Are you sure? You look sad." The brunette girl got closer to her and wiped a teardrop that fell from Caroline's eyes.

"It's nothing sweetie, wedding's just get me all emotional," She answered with a watery smile. "I'm really happy for you."

"Thanks." Elena answered softly.

"But you can still back out, you know." Caroline said nonchalantly while fixing the lace above her waist. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"I know," Elena answered taking a deep breath. "I know."

"I just wanted to make sure you knew that." Caroline took hold of her hands and looked at her straight in her eyes. "You deserve to be happy." She placed a kiss on her cheek and exited the room leaving a confused Elena Gilbert behind.

The girl looked at herself in the mirror once again and took a deep breath. Suddenly, images of Damon started coming to her: the first she saw him on the porch of that summer house, the first time they made love, the first time he kissed her, their multiple times at the falls, the first time she listened to their baby's heartbeat.

How is it possible to love someone that much? Since the first time Damon's lips had touched hers she knew that she was lost, she had pictured their entire life together and she was giving up on it right now. But why?

She didn't realize she was crying until she felt the warm liquid at her lips. She quickly cleaned up her eyes and closed them tightly. This didn't feel right, it never did. Then why was she doing it?

'Because you are stupid, Elena Gilbert.' the voice inside her head started screaming at her and she knew the damn voice was right, she couldn't do it, she didn't belong here. Her place was with him.

She looked at herself once again in the giant mirror and then turned to her closet; she picked up a bag and started to throw things in it. God he had to take her back, she knew that she wouldn't survive if he didn't.

Elena hadn't felt this joy and fear since she had left him ten years ago, she was so scared but in the pit of her stomach she knew that this was the right thing to do, there was no other way for her - just him. And hurting Stefan was never what she wanted to do but hurting Damon was not an option either, and she had already done a lot of that. It didn't matter about what had happened in the past, she just needed him now.

She removed her white shoes and was about to untie the bun on her head when her mother opened the door.

"Elena, what the hell are you doing?" Isobel asked in an alarmed voice when she saw the bag on her daughter's bed.

"I'm sorry mom but I can't do this. I still love him." Elena didn't need to say his name for Isobel to know who she was referring to.

"This is insane, you can't do this." The older woman tried to gain some composure and walked towards her daughter. "You're going to ruin your life."

"No, I will ruin it if I marry Stefan, because I don't love him the way I love Damon." She spoke each word carefully, trying her best to make her mother understand that no matter what everyone else wanted or thought, she loved Damon, against all odds.

"Elena listen to me for just one second," Isobel placed her hands on each cheek of her daughter's face and looked at her in the eyes. "Marrying Damon would ruin your life, have you forgotten what he did to you? How much you suffered?"

"It doesn't matter anymore, he-" Isobel interrupted her immediately.

"There's no excuse for it, do you want to spend the rest of your life feeling like that? With your heart crushed from all of the pain he's going to inflict on you? He's just trouble Elena, he could never love you the way you deserve." Elena was boiling inside, she wanted to yell at her mother and say that she had no idea what her relationship with Damon was like, that she didn't know him at all, didn't know what he was capable of but decided to stay quiet. Her mother was enraged and she didn't want to make this a bigger mess than it already was.

"Mom, I've already made my choice." Isobel released her and turned to stare at the door.

"Elena I love you, but I swear to you that if you walk out that door you will never see us again: not me, not your father and not Jeremy as long as he lives." Isobel spoke each word carefully and Elena couldn't believe what she was saying.

"Mother you can't do that! You're not being serious." The tears were already gathering in her eyes.

"I am Elena, if you do this than I won't want anything to do with you anymore."

Elena felt her world collapse in that moment and all the joy she was feeling minutes ago evaporated from her body. How can she choose between the love of her life and her mother?

"Baby I just want what's best for you." Isobel turned to her once again and cleaned up the tears that were on her cheeks. "You say that he loves you, yet he never tried to find you." And with that she cracked the last of her barriers.

That was something that Elena had always wondered, he knew where her parents lived, hell, they never even left Mystic Falls. So why did he never try to find her? He claimed that he loved her and that he never stopped loving her, but why did he not do anything to get her back? He did nothing until she was engaged to his brother. But of course Elena didn't know about the letter, the letter she never wrote but he read. The letter that made him think she didn't love him, that he wasn't good enough for her. The letter Isobel Gilbert gave to him, the one Elena never knew of.

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up." Her mother said softly while taking a tissue and cleaning the tears off her face. "We'll have to redo your make up in record time, everyone is already in the church." Elena stood still, frozen. She couldn't hear anything, she couldn't feel anything. She was just numb.

* * *

><p><em>.<em>

_You know I love you, I really do__  
><em>_But I can't fight anymore for you__  
><em>_And I don't know, maybe we'll be together again__  
><em>_Sometime, in another life__  
><em>_In another life_

_._

_._

"What are you doing here?" Damon asked with annoyance in his voice the minute he saw her standing in his doorway.

"I'm here for my friend." Bonnie answered with an equal amount of annoyance.

"Don't you have a wedding to go to?" He said when he saw her attire.

"Don't you?" She fired back.

"Yeah maybe in my next life." He said and turned to walk inside the living room while leaving the door open for her to enter.

"You have no idea how hard it was for me to come here, so I'll be quick."

"That's great." He said with a smirk and brought the bottle of bourbon to his lips. He wasn't drunk enough for this conversation, not yet.

"She loves you, you know that right?" The brunette girl said while looking down at Damon who was currently lying on the couch nursing a bottle of booze.

"If that was true, she wouldn't be at the church right now." He said with anger and a little bit of despair. He felt numb, today she was going to become his brother's wife, she was going to be completely his.

"She saw you kissing Rebekah, ten years ago, she saw you." Bonnie spoke softly while she took a seat on the couch opposite from him.

"What?" He said, almost choking on the alcohol.

"You guys were kissing, she was shoving her tongue down your throat, she saw it and ran away. Then Mason Lockwood found her and told her that you just used her, you just wanted to sleep with her and then toss her aside. She was devastated, crushed and the next thing I know her mom is taking her far away from you, saying that she knew you would only hurt her." Damon's eyes widened at Bonnie's words, that son of bitch Mason, he was going to rip his head off the minute he saw him.

"That's why she left." He said in a whisper.

"Yes."

"But that's so stupid!" Damon sat down immediately, anger boiling inside of him. "Why didn't she confront me? Why didn't she say anything?" He was beyond angry at the situation, at the stupidity of all of this. God damn Rebekah Michelson, he was going to kill her too.

"Damon, you know Elena, she loves running away, she's an expert at it. Her heart is always in conflict with her mind so the only thing she knows to do is ignore it and run, she thinks that way it will all go away."

"I cannot believe this!" He covered his face with his hands; he wanted to cry, he wanted to smash something against a wall, Mason's head - yeah, that would do it. This was stupid, they weren't together for stupid reasons. God, the whole world felt stupid to him at that moment.

"I don't like you, and God knows that I would love it if Elena wanted Stefan, trust me. But she doesn't, she wants you and I only want what's best for her, so here I am Damon. I know that maybe you're sick and tired of her rejection, but good lord I'm begging you, do something to stop that stupid wedding!" Bonnie's eyes were blazing with something that he couldn't name and the determination the girl had was contagious because he could feel himself get excited with the idea of finally getting Elena back, but he still had his doubts. He couldn't handle her rejection again, he just couldn't. If she sent him away again this time he wouldn't survive, he was sure of that.

"She won't take me back Bonnie, its over." He said and drank from his bottle once again.

"Only if you say so. If anyone here can stop her from making this huge mistake it's you, no one else." She took a deep breath, praying to God for her words to have some effect on him and got up from the couch. "Make a decision Damon." She said before walking to the door.

"Wait!" He yelled at her. Bonnie stood sill at the door and saw him put the bourbon on the table, fix his shirt and then give her a smirk. "It seems like we have a wedding to crash."

* * *

><p><em>.<em>

_The way you're holding on to me makes me feel like I can't breathe__  
><em>_Just let me go, just let me go__  
><em>_It just won't feel right inside. God knows I've tried_

_Y__ou know I love you, you know I do__  
><em>_But I can't fight anymore for you__  
><em>_And I don't know, maybe we'll be together again__  
><em>_Sometime, in another life_

_._

_._

"You okay sis?" Jeremy asked with concern in his voice when he saw the state his sister was in.

"I'm fine, just a little nervous." She answered with a small smile.

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to." He said and gave a reassuring squeeze to her arm before going inside the church. Does everyone think that this is a mistake? Elena thought to herself, 'I know I do'.

"Are you ready kiddo?" John said, standing right next to Elena at the doors of the church.

"Yep." She whispered, empathizing the 'p' just like she always did. She had to stop thinking about him, she just had to.

"Then let's go." John linked their arms together just as the wedding march started to play. They started to walk slowly towards the aisle and Elena felt her stomach churn, she could throw up at any minute, she was sure of it.

"Dear God." She whispered slowly but John preferred to ignore the sound coming out of his daughter's mouth.

She spotted Julian sitting with Beth on a bench close to the aisle and that made her felt more at ease, that was the effect the kid had on her. Then she turned to look at Stefan: he was beyond handsome, his tux made him look perfect and the glow in his eyes made her feel instantly guilty. He definitely didn't deserve this.

She couldn't spot Bonnie, she was supposed to be right next to Caroline on the aisle but she just couldn't find her anywhere. She turned to see Caroline who gave her a worried look. Where the hell was Bonnie?

They finally reached the end and her father kissed her cheek softly before depositing her hand into Stefan's. The blonde guy gave her a light smile and she had to smile back even though she was already forming a plan to run away. Maybe she could pass out, or she could just run like Julia Roberts did in that movie.

'Stop it Elena!' She scolded herself, 'stop being childish, this was your choice and it's for the best, your mother was right. If Damon really loved you he would have looked for you, but he didn't, he gave up on you. You have to do this for them, you've already put your parents through so much, this is the one thing you can do to repay them.'

"_Dear friends and family, we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the union of Stefan Salvatore and Elena Gilbert in __holy__ ma__trimony__. Through their time together, they have come to realize that their personal dreams, hopes, and goals are more attainable and more meaningful through the combined effort and mutual support provided in love, commitment, and family; and so they have decided to live together as husband and wife."_ The priest started as Elena stole glances around the church. He wasn't there, of course she didn't expect for him to be there just watching her get married to his brother, but she just hoped…

"_Love is always patient and kind; it is never jealous, love is never boastful or conceited; it is never rude or selfish; it does not take offense, and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins but delights in the truth; it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end." _Elena felt like crying at hearing the words coming from the priest. She didn't feel any of those things, love wasn't that for her at the moment because she didn't love the person right next to her, not the way everybody expected her to.

Stefan looked at her like he was feeling the distress she was in and gave her a reassuring smile, and she felt that stab of guilt once again. God, why did she let everything get so screwed up?

_"True marriage begins well before the wedding day, and the efforts of marriage continue well beyond the ceremony's end-"_ The priest had started again but Elena was distracted by the sound of footsteps running towards her and then she heard the most beautiful voice, the one she could never confuse with anothers.

"Stop! Stop this!" Damon yelled at the top of his lungs while the people around stared at him in shock.

Elena turned around and saw him standing there with Bonnie right next to him. "Elena, you can't do this." Out of the corner of her eye she was able to see the shaken expression on Stefan's face and she was able to hear the 'finally' come out of Caroline's mouth but at the moment her entire attention was on the blue eyed man in front of her. "You can't marry him," He said with determination in his voice as he walked closer to her. "You can't marry someone who isn't me."

* * *

><p><em>So? Was it good? <em>

_The words of the priest belong to a website with some weddings script on it, so totally not mine :)_


	14. Don't say a single vow

_Don't say 'Yes' run away now_

_I'll meet you when you're out of the church at the back door_

_Don't wait or say a single vow, you need to hear me out_

_And they said 'Speak Now'_

_And you'll say 'Let's run away now'_

_I'll meet you when I'm out of my tux at the back door_

_Baby, I didn't say my vows_

_So glad you were around when they said 'Speak now'_

**_Speak Now –Taylor Swift-_**

**_._**

**_._**

Sometimes in life there are moments when you think that everything is so normal, so quiet, so peaceful and it all seems so perfectly balanced. So perfect that you even find yourself being bored by those moments when you start wondering, what's so great about normal? But the thing is that without you really noticing it, something is being triggered and it is in that precise moment that you realize that everything's about to change, that nothing is ever going to be the same and when 'it' comes you learn that things happen only once in a lifetime, that you'll never ever feel the same again, never love with the same intensity, and that you would be a fool to let it go.

This was it - her entire life had been about decisions, most of them wrong ones but some of them right. And there she was, standing at the end of the aisle in her beautiful white dress, contemplating him in his dark blue shirt and jeans when she realized that this was the moment that would trigger her entire future. Things between them had started long ago, since that summer that she'd saw him on the porch of his house, but everything, all the moments she lived since that day, they had all come to this,to this decision and there was no doubt in her mind about what she should do.

"Damon for God's sake, what are you doing here?" Giuseppe Salvatore got close to his son with an enraged look on his face. "You are making a fool of yourself!"

"Leave me alone, father." Damon mumbled without taking his eyes of her and walked closer. "Elena please, we still have chance. It's not too late, it is never too late."

Murmurs were heard along the entire church; people kept staring at the man and then at each other, no one really understood what was happening.

"Lena, I love you and if you just give me a chance I promise you that I can make you happy. We are meant to be, you know that, you have always known that; we're supposed to end up together." Tears were about to fall from his eyes, he wouldn't be able to survive this, if she decided to stay with his brother he was sure that would be the end for him.

"Elena, what is this?" Stefan's confused and broken eyes turned to look at her so she took both of his hands between hers.

This moment seemed so surreal for her, never in her entire life had she expected her wedding to turn out like this. Stefan's face was breaking her heart and when she turned to see her parents she saw that her dad had a cold look in his eyes while Isobel looked at her expectantly, just waiting for her decision. Caroline gave her a nod and then she looked at Jeremy who gave her a small smile, giving her his blessing.

But none of them mattered now, not really. It was in the moment she turned her head and looked at the blue eyes that haunted her dreams that she knew her decision. His eyes were broken, already anticipating the worst but they kept looking at her intently even when he was fighting against his father's arms who were trying to take him away from her.

"Stefan-" She took a deep breath and clutched his hands more tightly. "I'm so sorry." She gave a soft kiss to his cheek and held him close to her face. "I never meant to hurt you like this, but I can't change how I feel, it's him and it will always be him." A tear left her eyes as she kissed his hands and let go of him, forever.

The people that surrounded them were left open mouthed when she lifted her dress and ran towards Damon. "We're endgame babe, I'm just sorry it took me so long to realize it." She gave him a watery smile and he held her hand.

"It was just in time." With that they both ran away from the church, leaving all the chaos behind them. None of it mattered anymore, not to them.

.

.

"Oh my God, I can't believe we just did that!" Elena said once they were two blocks away from the church.

"Having second thoughts, beauty?" Damon asked jokingly but she knew that deep down there was fear behind his words.

"Of course not you dork," She stopped walking and kissed him softly. "I just hate that I waited so long."

"Hey, it's okay. We're together now and that's the only thing that matters." He gave her a smirk and then lifted her, twirling her around the street.

"Damon, put me down!" She yelled with a smile on her face as she clutched his shoulders for support. He listened to her and placed her on the floor before giving her a languid kiss that left her feeling tingles all over her body.

"The car is close." He said while they remained still with their foreheads pressed together, neither of them being able to move.

"We should go," Elena said in a soft voice but still not being able to detangled herself from him. "We're in a public place." She said with a small smile on her face.

"Yeah, I think we need more privacy." He chuckled before pulling away from her. "Come on princess." He intertwined their hands and started walking slowly.

"Feeling happy Miss Gilbert?" He asked when he caught her smiling like an idiot.

"Very much Mr. Salvatore." She clutched his hand tightly and kept smiling.

Happy was an understatement, she was walking on sunshine right now, she still couldn't understand why she had waited so long to choose. Yes, she was afraid, but being with Damon was worth the risk.

"I think you look gorgeous in this dress, my love." He said into her ear and Elena blushed immediately, he loved how after all these years he could still make her blush.

"I'm glad you like it."

"But I imagine you would look so much better without it." She looked at him and saw him kink his eyebrow at her.

"And I guess you would really like verify that, right?" She answered suggestively. The need to be with the man next to her was overwhelming, she didn't have to feel guilty about it anymore, she'd choosen him, and she couldn't wait to have him once again.

"Come here," He stopped her in her tracks and took her face between his hands. "You have no idea how much I love you." He took her lips in a soft kiss, showing her all his love and devotion.

She laced her fingers through his dark hair and let him consume her, just like he did every time they were together. Nothing else in the world mattered but them. Just when their kiss was heating up, they felt drops of water start to fall on them.

"What the hell?" He said, pulling apart while she was still gasping for air. "Dear God, It's raining; let's go." He took hold of her hand once again and started walking faster, trying to run from the water pouring on top of them.

Just when Elena spotted his car he stood still on the ground with his eyes closed. "Damon, what are you doing? We're drenched, we need to get in the car." She pulled his hands but he didn't budge, he just stood in the same spot. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Shhh, just listen." His blue eyes looked into her confused ones. "There's music."

"Of course there's music, we're in front of a freaking dance school!" Elena said with exasperation in her voice, she wanted to get out of her wet clothes immediately.

"Come on," He extended his hands to her. "Let's dance." He gave her a crooked grin that made her melt to the floor.

"No, it's raining! I'm gonna get sick." She said more urgently this time.

"No, you won't. I'll protect you."

"Damon, let's go!" She said, tugging at his hand once again.

"No, let's dance first. Come on Lena, live a little." He smiled at her and she tried her best not to return his smile but failed immediately.

"Fine." She got closer to him and he took her in his arms.

_I will not let anything take away What's standing in front of me Every breath Every hour has come to this_

He circled her waist with his arms while she buried her face in his neck, inhaling his scent. Nothing could be more perfect than this, this was exactly how it was supposed to end. She knew that there were still things they needed to discuss but at the moment nothing mattered, just him and the fact that they were finally together.

"I love you." He whispered into her ear as she wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him close.

"I love you more." He held her tightly, resting his head against her shoulder as they kept moving to the sound of the music, tangled in each other while all the students from the school watched them enchanted through the window, and wished someday they could find something like that.

_Time has brought your heart to me I have loved you for a thousand years I'll love you for a thousand more_

He couldn't believe he had her in his arms again, finally. After everything they were together again and nothing ever felt more right, this was where he belonged. Since the moment he first saw her Damon knew that nothing was ever going to be the same for him.

His mouth collided with hers once again while they kept moving to the music, the taste was divine, it was drenched with love, passion, longing and happiness, and the entire world vanished. They were the only ones in the world at this moment, two lovers alone in the world.

_One step closer One step closer_

"Are you happy?" She asked softly while his forehead rested against hers.

"Very much." He answered with a smile.

"How much?" She insisted.

"A lot." Damon answered again.

"But how much is a lot?" She whined like a little girl and he smiled at her, looking into her chocolate eyes.

"At least three steps above heaven."

"Are you quoting books now Mr. Salvatore?" Elena said teasingly while running her hands trough his damp hair.

"Actually, I believe they stole the quote from me, I was already that happy with you long before that book was even planned." Damon said, doing that eye thing she loved so much.

"Oh really?"

"Yeap." He placed a soft kiss to her forehead.

"Well, I love you at least ten steps above heaven." She said and Damon laughed at her response before kissing her again, protecting her in his embrace.

_I have died everyday waiting for you Darling don't be afraid I have loved you For a thousand years I'll love you for a thousand more_

* * *

><p>"Come on, you're soaked. I told you I'd protect you." Damon said with a smirk and moved her to the living room. Elena sat on the couch still shivering from the cold and waited patiently until he returned with a big fluffy towel. He already had one draped around his shoulders but the second one he placed gently on hers. "I don't want you to get sick." He said in a shooting manner and started rubbing the fabric softly against her shoulders.<p>

"Elena, I think we need to talk." Damon said in a whisper and his eyes connected with the soft chocolate of hers.

Suddenly, all the weight of their relationship was falling above them, and there still were a lot of misunderstood things and secrets between them that needed to be sorted out, and they needed to focus on it now.

"Yeah, but I really want to get out of this drenched dress." She said uncomfortably, she didn't wanted to have this conversation, not now. They were so happy and she knew that once she told him about the baby everything would come crumbling down and she didn't want that, not now.

"Oh, and I want you out of that dress, but we need to discuss things." He said seriously.

"What things?" Elena said in an exasperated tone.

"I know why you left." The minute the words left Damon's mouth Elena panicked, what was he saying? Does he know about the baby? No, he wouldn't be talking to you if he knew.

"What do you mean?" She said cautiously.

"Bonnie said that you saw me kissing Rebekah." He looked into her eyes but she wasn't able to hold his stare, remembering that was just too painful for her.

"Damon, that's in the past now."

"No, Elena, you need to hear me out. I never kissed her, she was kissing me but I never agreed to it, I pushed her away." He got closer to her on the couch and took her hands between his, giving them a soft kiss. "I love you, I loved you all along and I would never do that you."

She smiled through the tears that had made way into her eyes before bringing her face to his and popping a soft kiss on his lips.

Deep down in her heart she knew that he would never do anything to hurt her but yet, she ran away the moment things got hard, that had been her biggest mistake. Damon was not the cause of everything that happened to her, he would have been supporting and loving, she was the only one to blame.

"I just wish you would have confronted me about it," He said, rubbing his hands into his eyes. "You just left and when I read the letter you gave me I just couldn't-"

"Letter? What letter?" Elena asked with a frown.

"The one your mom gave me, when you said that I wasn't good enough for you. That I wasn't what you wanted." His blue eyes were piercing through her brown ones and Elena had no idea what he was talking about.

"Damon, I never wrote you a letter." She looked at him with confusion in her eyes.

"But you did, I saw it." He answered stubbornly. Of course he did, he could still remember that day as if it was yesterday, the words on the paper had burned into his heart.

"Damon, I'm telling you I never wrote you anything."

"Then how-" Damon closed his eyes briefly trying to gain some control, then got up immediately and punched the wall so hard that blood started to come out of his hand.

"What the hell?" Elena said, getting up immediately and running towards him. "Are you okay?" She said taking his hand and examinating it to see if there was any damage. Luckily there was only a scratch.

"That damn woman! She made it up Elena, don't you see it? You're mother made it all up!" There was fire in his blue eyes and Elena stood still, absorbing what he was saying.

Her mother wasn't capable of it, she tried to help her when she found out about the baby but then again, she had always wanted her away from Damon, of course she would do something like that to try to keep him away from her. After all, she had basically blackmailed her into marrying Stefan.

He didn't give up on her, he tried to find her but Isobel made him think that she didn't love him. He never gave up on what they had.

"She said that if I chose you I could forget about her and dad," Elena said and saw the rage going through Damon's eyes. "Today at the church she said it to me." He took her in his arms and kissed her hair softly. "But it doesn't matter anymore, because I have you and you're all that I need."

"Elena-" His voice was a bare whisper and when he looked at her he knew that she was feeling the exact same thing he was. The despair, the fear, the love, the guilt... but the truth was that none of that mattered anymore. The only thing that mattered in that moment was the need of being together so when he crashed his lips into hers, there was nothing she could have done to resist him.

Their tongues battled for dominance, for comfort. Elena put herself to him as close as possible; she wanted to crawl under his skin and never come out of there, she wanted to be protected by him, to be loved and cherished, only by him.

Damon wanted to feel her as close as possible, he wanted to feel his skin against her so he removed the towel from her shoulders and let it drop onto the floor. He wanted to protect her, love her, and cherish her. He started to fight with the zipper of her dress and attack her neck, earning a hiss from her part.

Elena didn't know when or how but she found herself without her wedding dress and being attacked by Damon's mouth on her breasts through the corset she was wearing. God how she'd missed this feeling, the feeling of her skin against his. Her back hit the bedroom door and Damon fumbled with the door knob while his mouth continued worshiping her chest.

Once inside he removed his shirt and let her hands wander all over his torso gaining a low groan from his part. She started licking his chest, his nipples, his stomach until she reached his happy trail. She kneeled before him and removed his belt, then she flipped open the bottom of his jeans and started pulling them down his legs. Seeing where things were heading Damon decided that enough was enough so he grasped her shoulder and pulled her up.

"Even though I really really want to experience your mouth on me again, I just can't wait to be inside you, love." He kissed her hard not giving her time to answer while he started to unbutton his jeans and pulling them down his legs. Once they were gone he placed her gently on the bed and removed his underwear.

Elena watched open mouthed as he moved towards her in all his naked glory. Her memories didn't give him justice at all; he placed himself above her and started stroking her through the lace of her panties.

"Damon..." The soft whimper coming out of her mouth was like music to his ears, the best sound he'd heard in ages.

"Do you want me?" He said, looking into her eyes while he started pulling her panties down her legs and loosening the strings of her corset.

"Yes."

"Say it." He commanded once she was completely bared to him, oh how long he had waited to have her like this again.

"I want you." She answered breathlessly, he was killing her with this anticipation, she wanted to feel connected to him again.

"Do you love me?" He asked seriously but Elena was able to see the vulnerability behind his cerulean eyes and felt her heart warm at it.

"You know I do," She answered and stroked his face. "I love you. Always have, always will." Damon kissed her softly and gently pushed himself into her.

It was beyond magic, everything she had been longing for the last ten years was being delivered in every thrust of his hips against hers. She couldn't see, couldn't feel anything that wasn't Damon, he was possessing her body, branding it as his once again.

He would have killed for the chance of feeling like this once again, like he belonged to somewhere, to someone. He finally felt home and never wanted it to stop.

It was sweet, gentle, rough and comforting. It was a mixture of feelings they had been holding in for the last ten years, it was twin flames coming together again and nothing else mattered. Not Stefan or her parents, or their lost child, it was just them - together.

With one final thrust Damon emptied himself inside her clamming her once again and in that moment Elena knew that nothing was going to be the same but she didn't care, he was on her side and that way she was going to overcome it all, he was all she ever needed.

* * *

><p><strong>So? Please tell me tell me, did you guys enjoy it? I must say that this story is taking a different turn that what I had planned but I hope it's in a good way, there was a lot of cutness and love in this chapter and I may be able to strech it out for another one, but trouble are comming, there's still a lot that Damon and Elena need to figure out, so please bear it with me :D anyway I really hope you like it and also Thanks to everyone who's still reading this and also thanks a lot to Amy for correcting it for me :D <strong>

**The song they danced was Thousand Years by Christina Perri and of course there was a reference to Federico Moccia's Three Steps above heaven, sorry but I'm so obssessed with that book right now lol**


	15. Still get my heart racing

_Sorry for the delay I had a little problem with my lack of inspiration and catching up with Nikita season 2 kept me bussy too but I'm back on game now and I already have the next chapter half-written so I'll probably update it soon._

_Thanks to Amy who's an awsome beta and also thanks to everyone reading and following this._

_Enjoy_

* * *

><p>.<p>

.

_I'll never stop trying__  
><em>_I'll never stop watching as you leave__  
><em>_I'll never stop losing my breath__  
><em>_Every time I see you looking back at me__  
><em>_I'll never stop holding your hand__  
><em>_I'll never stop opening your door__  
><em>_I'll never stop choosing you babe__  
><em>_I'll never get used to you_

**_Never Stop –Safetysuit-_**

_._

_._

A ray of light casted perfectly across her face, she could feel the warmth engulfing her and sighed contently; a light feathery touch started going up her back and she opened her eyes to see the ray of sunlight peeking through the curtains. Soon the feathery touch turned into lips and hands started to ghost her front, gently caressing her stomach.

"Good morning." A soft deep voice spoke in her ear and she felt her belly quiver at the sound.

"Good morning." she responded with a smile gracing her lips.

"Feeling happy again, Miss. Gilbert?" he purred before taking her earlobe between his lips and sucking lightly.

"Very much." Elena whispered before turning in his arms and facing those amazingly blue eyes that enchanted her.

He gave her a smirk before taking her lips in a burning kiss, no matter how many rounds they went yesterday, the need was still there just waiting to be lightened up.

"I love you Damon, so much." she murmured while he devoured her neck.

And just like that they became one once again, locked up in that bedroom where nothing bad could happen, away from all the sorrow and misery that they had faced over the last few years. They were in their own piece of heaven, completely unaware of all the chaos in the world, making up for lost time and falling in love again. In there they were just Elena and Damon loving each other for the first time.

.

.

"Gilbert get your ass here!" Damon shouted from the kitchen. "Your breakfast is getting cold!"

He had made her the exact same breakfast he made for her the day after she found out she wasn't going to be able to have kids. He wanted to spoil her, pamper her, he wanted her to feel how much he loved her, but right now she was ruining his fun; he had been calling her for the last ten minutes and she still hadn't decided to show up.

"I'm coming to get you, don't say I didn't warn you!" Damon said with a smirk as he made his way to his room but found the door to Julian's room open and figured out she was in there.

"You did this for him?" Elena asked with awe in her voice the minute she felt him enter the room.

"I did." Was his simple response. She was currently admiring all the books and toys that were on the shelf so he walked towards her and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind.

"This is amazing." Elena said while tears gathered in her eyes. "You are the most wonderful man in the world Damon Salvatore."

"I think you are overreacting." he said nonchalantly while placing a kiss onto her cheek.

"You underestimate yourself babe," she smiled and turned in his arms so she could look into his blue eyes. "Damon, I'm so sorry." Her voice was a small whisper.

"For what?" Damon asked, confused.

"For everything I put you through, with Stefan and Julian, you didn't deserve any of it. You wanted him for real and I was taking it away from you and-" she took a deep breath and caressed his cheek with her fingers. "and you were going to let me, because you love me."

Elena Gilbert was sure that there wasn't another man as good and kind as Damon, people thought the worst of him, they said he wasn't good enough, he was trouble - a womanizer and just a man with no redeeming qualities, but the people who said all of these things had no idea who the real Damon was, they didn't know him like she did. And no other man was going to love her as much as him, just as she knew that there was never going to be another man like him, she couldn't possibly love anyone else but him.

"It's okay Lena, let's just forget about all that, all the bad things that happened. Let's just leave it in the past, okay? This is our fresh start." A big smile appeared on his lips and she couldn't help but feel tainted with his happiness.

But she knew that there was still something from the past that they would have to dig up together, but not right now. Elena pushed the thought to the back of her mind just like she did with all the bad stuff in her life, today was about them and their new beginning; she didn't want anything to ruin that.

"But we can't forget about Julian." Elena said while resting her head on his chest.

"Of course not," he stroked her hair lightly. "I'm sure by now Beth thinks we're playing a game about who's going to take him and she's probably pretty upset with us but I'm sure you've got your contacts." Damon said with a smirk on his face. "Do you think we can adopt him, together?"

She lifted her head to see his eyes staring at her hopefully, afraid that she was going to turn him down on this. "Do you really mean it? I mean maybe is too soon"

"Of course I do Lena, I love that kid and I think we already waited long enough, this could be our family." He placed a soft kiss onto her forehead.

"Then I guess I can talk to one of my contacts." She replied with a big smile on her face before Damon took her lips in a kiss. "Feeling happy Mr. Salvatore?"

"Very much." He detangled himself from her and took her hand, leading her towards the door. "Of course I'm gonna be so much happier once you eat my special breakfast."

"Well, that's something I'm not planning on missing."

"Of course not." He answered with a smirk and smacked her behind playfully.

"Oh my God, you did not just do that." Elena stopped in her tracks and looked at him with a raised eyebrow and her mouth open in surprise.

"Oh yes I did. Want to do something about it?" Damon answered, kinking his eyebrows at her while the biggest of smirks was appearing on his face.

"You're dead Salvatore, I swear." She yelled with a smile as he started running towards the kitchen.

It was amazing how good she felt, how relieved and happy. It was like being 17 and in love for the first time again. She didn't want this feeling to end, never. She'd waited so long to have it so she was going to enjoy every single minute of it.

* * *

><p>He opened his eyes and found darkness. That was all that was surrounding his mind. He adjusted his eyes to the darkness and he was able to see the small ray of light that threatened to enter underneath the curtains.<p>

He closed his eyes once again and felt rage invading his body, just like it had been doing since yesterday. He knew that the next time he saw Damon he was going to kill him. What he did to him was something that couldn't be forgiven.

He was always there for him, supporting, caring, even in his worse moments and yet he had the audacity to go and steal his bride. Damon Salvatore was no longer his brother, he stopped being it the moment he took Elena away from him.

Stefan sighed and rubbed his hands against his eyes. How the hell did everything get so messed up? He knew that Elena didn't love him completely, deep down inside his heart knew that. Then how could he ignore it, pretend that everything was okay and that they were going to live like a big happy family?

He understood, he knew that it was better this way but still, rage was taking over his body, and who could blame him? His world came crashing down in a matter of seconds. His fiancé ran away with his brother, all the people were surely making fun of him by now and Caroline… well, he lost Caroline, but he was the only one guilty for it.

Did he love her? He wasn't sure. He didn't know anything anymore. He thought that he loved Elena so he didn't know who he loved anymore. He missed her, that was for sure.

She was always there for him in his worst moments, and right now he needed her but of course she wasn't going to come. He had hurt her, that was his biggest mistake.

Stefan rolled in his bed and covered his head with his pillow. He could hear his father's screams from the parlor and the only thing we wanted was to shut him out, to shut out everything for a while.

Giuseppe Salvatore was going crazy after what Damon did, he still couldn't believe that his son was capable of doing such an atrocity, and worse, that such a good girl like Elena Gilbert went along with it. His poor son Stefan was heartbroken. In that moment he denied Damon as his son, someone who does something like that shouldn't be a Salvatore. But Stefan knew that Giuseppe doesn't care a bit about his feelings or Damon's for that matter, the only thing in his head right now is the people's reaction, his friends, his business, for him his children are only puppets in his big play, nothing more.

"Stefan darling, I got you breakfast." Karen spoke in a soft voice through the other side of the door. His father may be a jerk but at least he had found a good wife to marry. Sometimes he couldn't understand how Karen was able to put up with all his shit. She must be really in love.

"Stefan-" she repeated his name when she didn't get an answer. Stefan really liked Karen but he wasn't going to talk now, he just wanted to be alone, away from the rest of the world.

"Okay, well I'm going to leave the tray here. Please, just eat something." Then he heard the sound of footsteps going away.

For the life of him he couldn't find any strength to get up from his bed, he needed Caroline, he needed her to be better but she was going to send him away, so why make the effort? He already screw things with her and he wasn't planning on hurting her anymore so he just closed his eyes, letting darkness embrace him once again.

* * *

><p><em>Still get my heart racing –you-<em>_  
><em>_Still get my heart racing -for you-_

_Still get my heart racing –you-__  
><em>_Still get my heart racing -for you-_

_._

_._

She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so content, so calm and so happy. It was like everything that was wrong in the world suddenly was right; nothing else mattered but the fact that she was truly happy.

"What are you thinking?" he whispered in her ear while stroking her stomach softly.

"About how happy you make me." She said with a smile while running her fingers across his arm. After spending their afternoon together rediscovering everything about each other they were now enjoying a bubble bath in Damon's tub. She was resting against his chest while his arms surrounded her and their legs were tangled underneath the water.

"Is this real?" Damon asked with a little bit of uncertainty in his voice.

"Yes, very much. Even though it seems like a dream." Her eyes were closed and she was just enjoying the blissful feeling of being with the one she loved.

"You know, I was thinking that we're epic babe." Even though she couldn't see him she knew that he was smirking and smiled at that. "Think about it, after everything that we went through we're still together. Lies, bad people, evil parents and we still found our way back to each other." He kissed her hair softly. "And nothing else matters."

"Well, since you put it like that..." Elena twisted her head so she was able to kiss his lips. "I think we're pretty much epic." She smiled against his mouth and deepened their kiss. His hands moved towards her center and started stroking her softly, earning a moan from her mouth.

"You know, one would think that after the," he started counting in his head "well, around 10 times that we already made love between today and yesterday you would be tired."

"Nope," she murmured against his lips. "I just can't get enough of you babe." She bit his bottom lip and he let out a groan.

"You're gonna be the death of me woman." Elena resumed her original position against Damon's chest. He took the bath cloth and put some jasmine oil on it and started rubbing it on her body. "Can I ask you something?" he said in a calm voice.

"You can ask me anything Damon." Her eyes were closed in relaxation, her body was enjoying all the spoiling he was giving her.

"Did you love him? I mean, like really love him?" Her eyes shot open immediately, the fear was palpable in his voice and she felt her heart ache at the sound.

"I think that a part of me did," she chose her words carefully. "you see, when Stefan and I started going out together I was in a really bad place and he kind of reminded me that life had some good things too." he rubbed the wash cloth around her arms and his jaw clenched immediately. "But I think that the love I felt for him was more fraternal you know? Like you love a friend. There were never fireworks or sparks or shudders in all my body. We weren't epic." A small smile graced her lips; he sighed contently, happy because of her answer.

"And there are fireworks with us?" he said huskily into her ear.

"Are you kidding me? It's like a nuke bomb with us!" Damon started to laugh and Elena loved the vibrations of his chest against her back. "We're twin flames Damon, everything about us is spectacular."

"What the hell are twin flames?" she turned her head to look at him staring at her like she was some kind of lunatic.

"You don't know what twin flames are?" Elena mimicked his expression.

"No! That's not even a thing." he said, dropping the wash cloth in the water.

"Of course it is." she said, offended. "You're more lost than I thought. I'm so going to download you ten pages of the meaning of twin flames."

"You totally sound like Barbie," he said with a roll of his eyes. "but okay if you say we are, then we are." he kissed her cheek softly and tightened his arms around her.

"So you think we are?" Elena said in a sheepish voice.

"Yes, my love. Of course we are." he answered to her even though he had no idea what she was talking about.

They stayed in the tub for a few more minutes, kissing and touching, just enjoying the quiet nobility of being together, of how good it felt. But eventually the water ran cold and they decided that it was time to get out.

He stood up first and grabbed a big towel to dry himself, then he pulled her up and started drying her himself while she purred like a little cat. He enveloped her in an over sized robe and took one for himself.

"I think it's time for bed princess." he kissed her hair softly while she was combing it.

"Yes I guess." she said softly.

There was an issue that had been bothering her since this morning but that had made itself evident during the last few minutes, she had to be honest with him. She just couldn't let anymore lies get inbetween them and they weren't going to be completely okay if he didn't know all of the truth. They were going to survive this, they were epic - he said that. Their love was going to overcome everything, even her mistake.

"Elena, are you okay?" Damon said with a frown the minute they walked back into the room. She just looked distracted like something was bothering her.

"Damon, why don't you sit down." he looked at her confused but did as she told hi

m and took a seat on the bed. Elena walked towards him until she was standing right in front of him, then she kneeled and took his hands between hers and placed a soft kiss on them, all while Damon looked at her with fear of what she may say.

Elena was terrified, so scared that he was going to hate her once she told him about the baby, but she needed to, needed to tell him the truth.

"Damon, there's something I have to tell you."

* * *

><p><strong><em>Reviews are highly accepted<em> :D**

**Love,**

**Sam**


	16. The heart never lies

_Some people laugh, some people cry__  
><em>_Some people live, some people die__  
><em>_Some people run, right into the fire__  
><em>_Some people hide their every desire_

**_The heart never lies –Mcfly-_**

_._

_._

People always say that you haven't lived life to the fullest if you have no regrets or if you didn't make mistakes; they say that mistakes are the best way to learn and to grow. Right now Elena Gilbert couldn't agree more, even though at the same time she knew that was bullshit. She would give anything to turn back in time and change what she did so long ago. The mistake she had made did nothing to help her right now.

"How could you keep something like this from me?" Damon asked in a numb mode, still sitting on the bed with her hands on top of his knees.

"I was stupid, selfish and God, I was so damn angry at you." Elena said with tears in her eyes.

"Angry for something I didn't do!" he snapped and she was able to see the rage in his blue eyes. "You had no right Elena!" he stood up, violently knocking her to the ground.

"Damon wait!" she said the minute he started getting dressed.

"Wait? Are you kidding me Elena? I can't even look at you right now." The words were coming out of his mouth at full speed and even when he tried he just couldn't keep all of them inside him. "I never thought you were capable of something like that! Your mom drove us apart but you - you were keeping my child away from me!"

Elena looked down unable to face his stare one more time. After the amazing day they had shared he was looking at her as if he didn't recognize her anymore and that was breaking her heart.

"I was a kid and I was scared! What was I supposed to do?"

"You should have to come to me! Instead of making stupid assumptions you should have told me!" he punched his hand against the closet door. "You know that I would have loved that baby like nothing else..." he walked towards her with only his jeans on. "You denied me that opportunity."

"It's not my fault that she died." Her voice was a bare whisper and she looked so fragile and small that he wanted nothing else other than to hug her and make all of her pain go away, but he couldn't at the moment, he just couldn't find the strength to do it.

"Of course it's not your fault." His voice was soft and soothing as he tried his best to calm her, involuntarily. "But you should have told me. You've been lying to me for the last nine years!"

"I know Damon and I'm so sorry but I just couldn't deal with this. It was just too much..." she wrapped her arms around her middle, hugging herself to stay complete.

"Did Stefan know?" Damon asked with a hint of jealousy in his voice. He couldn't even contemplate the idea that his brother knew about his child, that she could be capable of telling him first.

"What? Of course not!" Her brown eyes pleaded for understanding with his but the only thing she found was coldness.

"God, I cannot believe this." he covered his face with his hands and a soft sob escaped his lips. "Do you have any idea how I feel right now?" His glossy blue eyes looked at her deeply.

"I'm so sorry."

"I feel like someone just ripped into my heart, Elena. This - I never saw it coming." he tried to control his temper but there was so much going on inside him. "How could you do this to me?" he said more to himself than to her and laid his head against the cold hard wall.

Elena stood still on the ground, just watching how everything was falling apart around her. She felt like something was pressing down on her chest and stopping her from breathing. Telling Damon the truth was like reliving everything again. She was never going to forget the moment when her mother told her that her baby was dead.

At first she didn't believe it, she could feel it in her heart that their baby was alive and waiting for her somewhere, she even had dreams about it but as the time went by she had to accept it: there was a grave, a certificate... there was no doubt that her baby was dead.

"Let me ask you something." she lifted her eyes and found him staring at her. "If the baby wasn't- if you -if you hadn't been in the accident," he took a deep breath before continuing. "were you going to tell me or were planning on keeping her from me, forever?" His voice broke down at the middle of the sentence.

"No, Damon. I wanted to tell you, I was going to wait until-" The sobs were taking control of her body and he wanted to comfort her, he did but he just couldn't. It was like an invisible force was keeping him glued to the ground. "After everything went down I just didn't see the point in telling you, it was all over."

"You didn't see the point?" Damon asked with disbelief. "Didn't you think I had to grieve for this too, that was not just your baby Elena! It was mine too!"

"I know Damon, it was the stupidest thing I have ever done. But I was so confused." she pleaded with him even though she knew it was useless, she had never seen him so mad, Damon was losing control.

"I can't do this Elena," he turned around and took the first shirt he saw in his closet. "I just can't." he needed to calm down, to absorb all of this and to make peace with his feelings and he just couldn't do it with her right now, he would say things that he was going to regret, he was going to hurt her more and that was the last thing he wanted. So the best choice was to have a moment of solitude.

"Damon please don't go, don't do this!" Elena pleaded with him once again.

"I just can't be here right now."

"Where are you going?" she asked between sobs.

"I'm going to mourn for the child I didn't know I'd lost." he answered coldly.

She watched him abandon the room and minutes later heard the front door close. She'd ruined everything once again, she couldn't understand how he could love her; she kept hurting him over and over again. It was like her love was toxic to him and couldn't do anything but harm.

"Please don't give up on me."

She wanted him, she wanted him back so badly. She curled up on the floor and let all of her sadness and despair out, just waiting for him to come back.

* * *

><p>.<p>

_Some people fight, some people fall__  
><em>_Others pretend they don't care at all__  
><em>_If you wanna fight I'll stand right beside you__  
><em>_The day that you fall I'll be right behind you__  
><em>_To pick up the pieces_

_._

_._

He had started walking not knowing where to go. His head was a big mess and frankly he had no idea of what to do, no-one had ever prepared him for something like this. It was in these moments where he missed his mom the most.

Damon rested his head against the cold wooden table, in the end he had ended up at his office, a place where he felt safe. He was in control there, he created beautiful things, knew exactly what he was doing. He felt secure there.

"Dear God." he whispered softly, but his voice echoed in between the walls of the empty room.

He felt rage, and immense rage towards her. How could she hide this from him? For so long. Didn't she think that he had the right to know something that important? He felt angry at everything and everybody. That damn woman Isobel, how was she able to send her away? She took her and disappeared, lying to him, leaving him completely alone and thinking that she wanted nothing to do with him. Rebekah and Mason, they were also a big part of destroying his relationship with Elena, he was sure that the next time he saw them he wasn't going to able to control himself, they ruined his life.

Damon let out a loud roar before covering his face with his hands and sobbing softly. Elena was the most stubborn woman he knew and he always loved that about her, except now, when her actions caused him a lot of trouble. Why didn't she come to him, tell him about the baby and about what she saw? They could have saved a lot of pain and tears if she didn't just jump to conclusions.

A child. He was going to be a father but they took that away from him too. Sometimes he wondered if destiny did those things just to hurt him. The idea that Elena carried a child of his inside of her made him happy but then the outcome of everything just shattered his world into pieces. How was it possible that you could feel so much for someone that you didn't even meet? Someone you only just found out about now?

Because at the moment he was feeling his chest constrict at cause of the pain, the pain that he felt for losing that little human being, a part of himself that he was never going to able to take back.

The sobs took complete hold of his body and he just let himself feel it, the pain and the hurt, everything that was hidden deep in his heart. He only cried this hard once in his lifetime and that was when he found out she was gone.

Elena, she was just a kid. Going through all of that alone would have been awful. Damon could almost imagine her face when they told her that the baby was gone, could hear her sobs and see her tears. She had needed him then but he wasn't around and he knew that wasn't only her fault.

This was his fault too, he shouldn't have given up. He knew that she loved him, deep inside his heart he knew. Then why didn't he try harder? Why didn't he try to find her? He was too scared of rejection, he didn't feel worthy of her - in his head it seemed perfectly reasonable that she didn't think he was enough. But right now that just seemed stupid, he should have fought for her.

He cleaned his eyes and steadied his heart-rate. A family, he could still have a family with her and Julian. Damon wasn't going to make the same mistake twice, this time nothing was coming between them, she needed him now just like she needed him so many years ago and this time he would fight for her against all odds. He opened up his laptop and started roaming through web sites, he needed some time to cool off, but there was no doubt about what he had to do.

* * *

><p>Caroline sprayed some Nina Ricci on her and brushed her curls once again before adjusting her white top. Bonnie had asked her to go to the movies and she just couldn't refuse her friend, besides she could use the distraction, thinking about Stefan was bad for her and Elena was wrapped up in her own Damon Salvatore coconut, so Bonnie and her had to entertain themselves.<p>

A soft knock on the door interrupted her so she just applied some cherry gloss and headed to the door thinking that it was Bonnie who had decided to pick her up early, but the moment she opened the door she saw Stefan Salvatore standing there.

"Hi." he whispered softly, looking down.

"What are you doing here Stefan?" she said in a harsh tone.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"Well hurry, I have plans." Her tone was exasperated and surprised him, this was not the Caroline he was used to.

"I'm sorry."

"You already said that and I told you, I don't care." Caroline knew that she was being harsh but at the moment there was no other way she could be with him, she was still really hurt by everything that had happened.

"Caroline please, I need you. You're my best friend." he pleaded with her and made a move to hold her hand. She didn't allow it and walked a step back to put some distance between them.

"No, Stefan. I can't be your best friend. I'm in love with you and I tried, I tried trust me but I just can't help feeling this way." she took a deep breath and tried to compose herself, not wanting to spill one single tear in his presence. "But if you think that my love ruined our friendship, that's not true, you ruined it."

"Caroline I can't - I don't even know what to say." Stefan looked ashamed, he couldn't believe that he had brought so much pain in her life. He never meant to hurt her but things just turned out this way and he couldn't bring things back to the way they were, it was just too late.

"There is no more to say." Her voice was a soft whisper. "Do you know how I felt Stefan? Watching you with Elena every day, knowing that you cared about her in a way that you could never care about me? But I didn't blame you, I didn't because you can't control how you feel and it wasn't your fault that I was in love with you." she could see how her words were sinking in, the emotion in his eyes was something that she couldn't put a name on. "But then we had sex, you made me think that you wanted me in another way and I loved it, I thought that there was a small chance that you had those kind of feelings towards me." Despite her best effort she couldn't stop the small tears that started to fall from her eyes.

"I never meant to hurt you."

"It doesn't really matter now Stefan," she took a deep breath and spoke again. "I felt so ashamed for doing that to Elena but I did it because I love you. Now it just doesn't matter."

"Don't say her name." Stefan said with a clenched jaw. "You have nothing to be ashamed about, she was probably screwing my brother for the last months."

"You see!" Caroline let out a sardonic laugh. "Even now you can't get her out your mind." Stefan didn't know how much this fact hurt the blond girl, Caroline was excellent at hiding her emotions. "And of course I get to feel ashamed, she's my best friend! And she didn't do anything to me. And trust me, she did not screw Damon. She's better than that."

"Yeah right, who can believe that? And how can you ask me to get her out my mind after what she and Damon did to me?" he spat furiously. "They're going to pay for it."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Caroline said with a serious expression on her face. "Let them be happy Stefan, they're in love."

"But that didn't give them the right to hurt me." His tone was sober and sent a shiver down the blond girl's spine.

"You did not just say that to me." Her blue eyes were fixed fiercely on his face. "I know that what they did wasn't right but hey, you screwed her best friend right before the wedding, so don't come here and play Saint Stefan with me!" he couldn't believe the words that were coming out of Caroline's mouth, she had never talked to him that way.

"That is different!"

"Yes, it is. They're actually in love. What they have is big and special."

"Stop it!" Stefan closed his eyes and Caroline could see him shaking with rage.

"Listen to me Stefan Salvatore, you're going to back off and leave Elena and Damon alone, they're in love - you know that. Deep down inside you always knew that." Caroline walked closer to him and Stefan enjoyed the closeness she was giving him. "You have to let this go, don't carry all of this on your back."

"Caroline, please-" he walked one step closer and put both of his hands on each side of her head. "I need you." he rested his forehead against hers and Caroline could feel her control slipping, he was breaking all of the barriers around her heart.

"Stefan, I can't-" Her voice was a strained whisper and she could feel him running his hand through her blonde locks.

"Shh..." he whispered against her mouth before kissing her lips softly. He longed for this feeling, the warmth she could give him, the comfort. Nothing had ever felt more right than being with her and Caroline hated herself for surrendering to him once again. How could this man have so much power over her? Women in love always lost their judgment, but she wasn't going to be one of them.

"Stop it, I won't do this." she said breathlessly. "I won't be your replacement."

"Caroline, I don't want you to be my-" she put a finger against his lips to shush him.

"I won't be with you just because you can't have her." Her eyes were shining with unshed tears. "I'm sorry." And with that she closed the door on him, leaving him stunned and standing on her doorstep.

On the other side Caroline let herself fall against the door, the cold oak feeling comforting against her back. She wondered how her life got like this, the only thing that she had wanted was to keep Stefan's friendship and now she had lost him, she'd lost him forever.

* * *

><p>.<p>

_Another year over, and we're still together__  
><em>_It's not always easy, but I'm here forever__  
><em>_We are the lovers__  
><em>_I know you believe me__  
><em>_When you look into my eyes__  
><em>_'cause the heart never lies_

_._

_._

Elena was resting on the bed with her back against the headboard and her knees against her chest. She had been in this exact position since he left, it seemed like ages ago. She had considered going home but there wasn't any of her clothes there except for her wedding dress, so there was no way for her to get out. And besides, she wanted to be there for when he returned, this couldn't be the end. It just couldn't.

"Hi." she heard a deep voice and lifted her head to see him standing in the doorway, she didn't hear the front door but she was glad that he was back.

"Hi." Elena answered back softly.

"I'm so sorry." he said, walking towards her. "So sorry baby." he left some sheets of paper on the night stand and climbed into the bed with her.

"No Damon, it was my fault." she said with tears falling from her eyes once again.

"It was no one's fault baby." he wrapped his arms around her and let her sob into his chest. "It wasn't your fault." he whispered soothing words against her hair while she let out all of her pain and sorrow.

"I should have told you." Elena said between sobs and fisted her hand into his shirt, needing to be closer to him. Damon pressed her tightly against him while tears started to fall from his own eyes.

This was what she needed, through the last years this was the thing that she'd been yearning for, the closure, for him to know her pain and to grieve it with her, she just couldn't do it alone anymore.

"It's gonna be okay Lena, it's all gonna be okay." he whispered between sobs and rubbed her back in a soothing manner.

"You don't hate me?" she lifted her eyes and found his glossy eyes staring at her.

"How could I hate you, my love?" His voice cracked at the last word and she buried her head in his chest once again, letting all of her pain out.

"I'm so sorry." she kept whispering against his chest while her tears soaked his shirt.

"It's the past now." he said and gave her a kiss on the top of her head. "We can have a family now." he gave her a watery smile. "We have Julian."

Nothing that had happened in the past mattered now, they were together finally, after everything and he just wasn't going to let everything get ruined again. He could understand her, a scared little girl who didn't know what to do, he didn't blame her, he could never do that.

"Yes, we can." she gave him a smile and kissed his lips softly.

It seemed like hours that they stayed like that, wrapped up in each other's bodies, crying, smiling and getting comfort with the closeness. Elena was glad that she had finally come clean with him, it was as if a big burden was suddenly lifted off of her shoulders. She felt free for the first time in a while.

"Look what I got." he said, detangling himself from her and moving to retrieve the papers he'd left on the night stand.

"What is this?" she answered once Damon gave her the papers.

"Well, I couldn't find ten but I downloaded 7 pages of the meaning of twin flames." A smirk appeared on his lips and Elena couldn't help but laugh out loud.

"I cannot believe you did this." she couldn't hide her smile and her joy at this, sometimes Damon Salvatore could really surprise you.

"Well I wanted to know what the hell you were talking about, so-" he said nonchalantly like it wasn't nothing important, he did that all the time - he underestimated himself.

"I love you." she said before kissing him again, a little bit harder this time.

"Love you too princess." He laid down on the bed and took her in his arms. "So how about we read this now." he took hold of the papers and started reading out loud while she rested her head against his chest.

_"__With your soulmates you get together and everything__ is __perfect__, __with a Twin flame there's always chaos__' _Okay, after what happened at that wedding I believe this is true, we should totally read this to baby bro."

"Oh don't be mean." Elena rolled her eyes at him and smacked his cheek playfully.

"Bla bla bla..." he skimmed through various lines until he reached the ones that he wanted. "_It doesn't matter if there is a huge age differen__ce__ between them or if one or the other of them is already married or in a committed relationship. The__y__ WILL find each other__.__"_ he raised his eyebrow and looked at Elena. "Okay that is so true. I swear this thing is just getting creepy."

"Keep reading." Elena said with a smile while stroking his arm that was currently around her waist.

"Okay, let's see '_they are difficult to live with, you__r__ literal other half embodies everything you are and usually reflects EVERYTHING you do not like about yourself__.__"_ he let out a snort. "Pff, that is so not true, living with you is so easy, except of course when you're being a total bitch."

"Hey!" Elena shoved his chest playfully.

"You know what? I think it's time to call it a night. This thing makes me want to sleep." he threw the papers onto the floor while Elena looked at him with an offended look.

"You are so mean." she stuck her tongue out at him and escaped his embrace.

"Oh but you wouldn't want me any other way." he took hold of her once again and kissed her passionately. Her hands tangled in his hair while his kisses grew urgently. "Okay, I think these twin flames need to reconnect." he said before opening up her robe and feasting on her body once again.

This was definitely heaven.

* * *

><p><strong>Please please tell me what you think? :D Thansk a lot to everyone reading this, I really can't thank you guys enough for it.<strong>

**Also I was wondering what you think about Caroline and Stefan? When I first started with this I had all about their relationship figure it out but now Stefan's character isn't what I had planned in the beginning, so I'm not sure what to do with it anymore, do you think they should be together?**

**Love, **

**Sam**


	17. A Dustland Fairytale

_So sorry for the delay but my beta has been busy and I'm back on school, I got the next two chapters already written but after that i may take a while with the others because college is driving me insane! Anyway I really hope you enjoy this chapter, we're already on the road to the end but I still expect to write a few more chapters. Thanks a lot to everyone still reading this and to Amy for correcting it for me :D_

* * *

><p><em>The Dustland Fairytale beginning<br>With just another white trash county kiss in '61.  
>Long brown hair, and foolish eyes.<br>He'd look just like you'd want him to  
>Some kind of slick chrome American prince.<em>

_**A Dustland fairytale –The killers-**_

_._

_._

Right now he regretted that there was still some of his stuff leftover at the Salvatore Mansion, he should have taken all of it to his apartment a long time ago; he needed that leather jacket, he hadn't used it in at least 9 years and right now he needed it, no matter how stupid Ric thought he was being.

"I still think you don't need that." Alaric said in a bored tone as he watched the road from the window.

"I told you Ric, Elena and I are going on a road trip and I really need it."

"But you've got at least 10 of those, you're like Dexter." The blonde man said a mocking tone.

"Yes, but I need that one." he wasn't expecting Alaric to understand the importance of that Jacket, that piece of clothing had been a part of his and Elena's past, a part that he wanted to keep.

"Okay, okay. But if we find Stefan there don't say I didn't warn you." His tone got a little more serious at the mention of the youngest Salvatore brother.

"Come on, it's not like I'm gonna run away from baby bro forever." His eyes were fixated on the road. Truth be told he was expecting not to face Stefan today, he didn't want to spoil his weekend, but he knew that sooner or later they would have to talk.

"Okay, okay. Whatever you say." Ric said, pulling out his phone for the tenth time in the last 20 minutes and observing it carefully.

"Dear God, you're so whipped you know that?" Damon said with a smirk on his face.

"Look who's talking." His friend fired back at the accusation.

"Seriously, what's wrong? You've been glued to your phone the entire ride."

"Jenna and I had a fight last night." His tone was distressed while he fiddled with the phone in his hands.

"About what? She finally realized that you can't satisfy her in the bedroom?" Damon asked with a raised eyebrow. "Wait, I know - you said someone else's name while you were doing the dirty?"

"You're a dick, you know that?" Alaric looked at him with stony eyes and anger in his voice.

"Okay I'm sorry mate, what were you saying?" Damon answered, trying to look interested. He was in fact really concerned about what had happened with his friend, but messing with Alaric was just too fun to let go.

"Mate? Really Damon?" he said, rolling his eyes at the brunette man.

"Are you going to tell me or not?"

"She found out that I'm still kind of married to Meredith." The blonde man said in a soft voice while his eyes found his shoes on the car floor.

"You're what?!" Damon said with a shocked expression while he suddenly stopped the car causing Alaric, who wasn't wearing a seatbelt, to bump his head against the front of the car.

"Damn it Damon." he muttered while running his hand across his forehead to soften the pain.

"I'm sorry but you can't just drop things like that and expect me not to freak out!" he looked at him with accusing eyes. "What do you mean you're kind of married?" Damon started to drive once again.

"She never signed the divorce papers." The blonde man said with a sigh.

"So you're like, totally married." Damon said in the same mocking tone his friend used moments before.

"No, because we don't live together anymore." he winced. "So we're kind of married."

"You know I'm wounded," Damon said, taking a hand to his chest and putting on a sad face. "You never told me this, or Jenna." he shook his head and looked at his friend. "Who's the dick now?" he raised a brow and gave him a smirk.

"Go to hell." Ric muttered under his breath and fixed his eyes on the road once again.

"Okay, I'm being serious now. You've got to figure out how to fix this man." he said in a serious tone, acting more like an adult this time. "Jenna is not going to put up with all this crap, she's a great woman dude, you have to keep up with her standards."

"I know Damon, trust me. I know."

* * *

><p><em>Saw Cinderella in a party dress, she was looking for a nightgown.<br>I saw the devil wrapping up his hands; he's getting ready for the showdown.  
>I saw the ending when they turned the page, I threw my money and I ran away.<br>Sent to the valley of the great divide  
>Out where the dreams all hide.<em>

_._

Elena placed the last piece of her clothes in her suitcase before closing it. Damon and her both had great expectations for this trip, so she was more than happy to make all of the final arrangements. The only thing that was bothering her was going back to her childhood house. She absolutely didn't want to face either of her parents today, but she needed to retrieve some of her old documents, if they wanted to really adopt Julian then they should have everything in order, and she wanted to have that done before leaving.

A soft smile graced across her lips at the mention of the little blonde kid, Julian had been beyond ecstatic when they went to visit him yesterday, he said that he always knew that they would end up together, something in his heart had told him so. Elena couldn't help but love that little guy, he brought sunshine into her life when everything was dark and adopting him with Damon was a dream come true, it felt right. And she just couldn't wait to have him with them, to be able to hold him whenever she wanted and to hear him calling her mom. Well, at least she expected that he wanted to call her mom.

They still hadn't said anything to him about the adoption, they didn't want him to make him hopeful in case things didn't work out the way they wanted, but both Elena and Damon were ready to do whatever it takes to have that child with them.

She heard a soft knock on the door and figured that it would be Bonnie and Caroline who offered to give her moral support and go with her to her house since Damon had to go to his own childhood house. Besides she didn't think that bringing Damon to her parents' house would be a good idea.

"Hello!" Her bubbly blonde friend greeted her the minute she opened the door. "So, Bonnie couldn't make it since she had a date with that Richard guy but I brought a friend." Caroline popped out a bottle of champagne from behind her and handed it to Elena who accepted it with a smile on her face.

"Thank God. I guess I could use some liquid courage." she joked once Caroline was inside of the apartment. "And I'm glad that Bonnie is on a date, she really needed that."

"I know right?" Caroline agreed while she went to the kitchen to retrieve two glasses to pour some champagne in.

"Give me some girlfriend." Elena said with a dramatic sigh while Caroline popped open the champagne which spilled a little onto Elena's floor. Both girls laughed in unison and filled their glasses.

"To your happiness Elena," Caroline raised her glass in the air. "And to your Damon." she quirked an eyebrow at her while she spoke.

"To my Damon!" The brunette girl answered happily and clinked her glass with Caroline's before drinking a big gulp of the bubbly liquid.

"Lena there's something I need to tell you." Suddenly the expression of the blonde girl turned serious.

"Okay." Elena answered softly, catching onto the state her best friend was in.

"A few days before your wedding I-" she took a deep breath and forced the tears burning behind her eyes not to fall. "I slept with Stefan."

"Get out." Elena said in a hard voice without even thinking about her words.

"I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry." Tears were already falling from the blonde girl's eyes but Elena remained impassive, absorbing the words her best friend had just said.

Caroline placed her glass onto the counter and turned around to leave but just when she was opening the door she heard Elena's voice calling her from the kitchen. "Care, I'm sorry." Elena walked towards her and took her into a tight embrace. "I'm so sorry, I didn't meant to be so hard." she said in a soothing manner while the blonde girl cried onto her friend's shoulder.

"You have every right to be angry, what I did was so wrong." Caroline murmured against Elena's hair. "I'm so sorry."

"Hey, hey it's okay." Elena broke the embrace and wiped her friend's eyes clean with her hand. "Come on let's sit down." she took the blonde girl's hand and walked her towards the couch in the living room.

"I never meant for it to happen but I just couldn't help it Elena!" Caroline sobbed uncontrollably, tremors taking hold of her body.

"Hey I ran away from my own wedding, I have nothing to be angry about." Elena stroked her friend's hair softly.

"Yeah I know, but I'm your friend, I shouldn't have done that." Her blue eyes looked at her brown ones with despair. "But I love him."

"Oh my," she looked at her with amazement. "You're in love with him, he was the guy you were in love with." Caroline didn't answer she just kept sobbing while all of her mascara ran down her cheeks. "Sweetie you should have told me." Caroline placed her head in Elena's lap and kept crying while she patted her hair softly.

"But he doesn't love me, what's the point?" It was hard for Elena to understand all of her words between the sobs but she managed to do it just fine. "He only used me, he just wanted to have sex with me he doesn't love me."

"That mother fucking son of a bitch." Elena muttered under her breath. "And to think I felt guilty for abandoning him."

"He's been mean to me." The blonde girl said while her sobs subsided a bit. "I don't want to love him anymore." Caroline found herself breathing with ease again, it felt so good to let it out of her chest and being able to cry about this situation with her best friend, she would never forgive herself for sleeping with Stefan, because even when Elena didn't love him she had betrayed her trust.

"Don't worry Care bear." Caroline smiled at the mention of the nickname the girls gave her when she was little. "You'll get over him, we are gonna get you a super-hot man." Elena said with a smile. "Trust me, Stefan is going to want to kill himself for letting you go, you deserve so much more than someone who only wants you for sex."

"Thank you, thank you for forgiving me." Caroline said softly while her head was still resting on her friend's lap.

"Don't worry; we'll never let a man come between us. Our friendship is stronger than that." Caroline got up and took a deep breath before cleaning her eyes.

"Let me freshen up a bit and we'll be ready to go and visit your evil parents." Elena let out a soft laugh at Caroline's comment and got up as well.

"Yeah, that is going to be a real trouble."

* * *

><p>"Are you seriously going to let me go in there alone?" Damon gaped at Alaric who was still in the passenger seat.<p>

"You're a big boy Damon, I know you can handle this." A smirk was placed on the blonde man's face.

"Traitor." Damon muttered and opened the car door.

He walked slowly, almost as if he didn't want to go in there; once he reached the front door he took a deep breath and walked in thanking God that there was no-one in sight. He walked slowly to his old bedroom and found that everything was in the exact same place it was when he left, it was as if time had stopped in there.

He opened his closet and took the leather jacket, before leaving he looked around with a smile on his face looking at the room that he grew up in.

"Leaving without saying hello brother." Stefan's voice stopped him in his tracks when he was at the bottom of the stairs

"Stefan." Damon whispered and turned to find the enraged green eyes of his brother.

"I can't believe that you have the guts to come into this house after what you did to me." he slowly walked closer towards Damon while his entire body was shaking with rage.

"Look Stefan, I really don't want to fight, we both should-" he was stopped in the middle of sentence when Stefan's fist landed on his jaw knocking him to the ground.

"What the hell?!" Damon shouted and got up immediately. "Stefan calm the fuck down!" The words were soundless in his brother's ears so he threw himself at Damon once again trying to knock him out.

Damon took Stefan by the collar of his shirt while his brother did the same and like that they were both trapped in a senseless fight, Stefan was completely out of himself, he couldn't control his actions and Damon didn't recognize the man who was in front of him at the moment.

"Stop, stop this insanity!" Giuseppe yelled once he saw his children fighting against each other in the parlor.

Both of them seemed oblivious to their father's voice so he was forced to walk towards them and separate them. He took Stefan towards the stairs while he kept fighting against his arms.

"I'm gonna kill him!" The elder man looked disturbed at his son, he never thought that Stefan would have this kind of reaction. "He had no right father!" Stefan said on the edge of tears.

"I know son, I know." Giuseppe said trying to calm down his younger son.

"You haven't been next to her for the few years, you don't even know her! You don't love her like do!" Each of Stefan's word was dripping with despair and pain.

"I don't know her?" Damon asked enraged. "And I guess you do." he let out a sardonic laugh. "I know that she doesn't like crowds but she's so scared of being alone, she loves Pepsi more than anything else, she loves cuddling, and every time she watches horror movies she wakes up at night scared, but despite this her favorite TV show is Supernatural." he walked closer to Stefan with every word he said. "She hates clowns and has a small scar on her knee from when she fell of a swing, she loves being tickled and has a name for every star in the sky. She's scared of dying but her worst fear is that Jeremy does it before her."

Stefan was left speechless just as his father who was observing his older son with surprise and a hint of smile started to appear on his lips, the determination Damon had was something that he recognized in himself, he could be a heartless bastard sometimes but he could recognize love when he was seeing it.

"But I guess you already knew all of that." His blue eyes pierced into Stefan's.

"I hate you!" he shouted before turning around and walking towards his bedroom, letting Damon win the argument because of course he knew that he had nothing to fight against him, he never loved Elena like his brother did. "I'm never going to forgive you for this Damon!" he yelled before opening the door to his room.

"Well, this has been one hell of a visit." Damon muttered under his breath as he turned around to walk away.

"What were you expecting? Warm words and smiles?" His father answered in a mocking tone.

"I know that what I did was wrong." he said, turning to look at his father once again. "But could you be on my side at least once?" His eyes showed a deep sadness and every word he spoke was laced with hurt.

"This isn't about being on anyone's side Damon, it's about what's right and what you did was certainly wrong." The elder man's voice was sober and serious like he was doing some business transaction, too cold to be called fatherly.

"But in your eyes I'm never going to make it right." Damon started walking closer towards him. "Why does everybody think that he's so much better than me? What is it that is so wrong with me?" he could feel the tears burning behind his eyes but refused to let his father watch him cry.

"Don't be melodramatic Damon." Giuseppe answered nonchalantly.

"I'm not, I'm just stating facts." The rage had already took control of his body. "You have never really loved me, the Gilberts think I'm not good enough for her, hell, they even tried to hide my own child!" Thousands of emotions were going through his blue eyes. "So forgive me for trying to hold onto the only person in this world who truly loves me, I will never regret what I did. She's the love of my life and I would fight for her against anyone."

"What did you just say?" Giuseppe was shocked to his very core after hearing Damon's words. "What child?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that." Damon said with a sardonic tone. "Elena got pregnant with my child nine years ago so they took her away to hide it from me, but it doesn't really matter now since she lost the baby." A trace of sadness appeared on his face. "But that's what your so called 'friends' did."

"That is not possible."

"Oh yeah it is."

"That was wrong." Damon raised a brow and looked at his father. "But if you think about it, it was the best thing that could happen."

"You did not just say that to me." His icy blue eyes peered into his father's.

"What, you wanted to have a kid that young? You would have lost everything. She probably even did it on purpose, to catch you." The next thing Giuseppe felt was Damon's fist against his jaw.

"Goodbye, father." His cold stare kept the elder man on the ground. "If I never see you again in my life, that would be fine." And like that he walked out of the house where he spent his childhood, forever.

* * *

><p><em>Out here the good girls die<br>Now Cinderella don't you go to sleep; it's such a bitter form of refuge.  
>Why don't you know the kingdoms under siege and everybody needs you.<br>Is there still magic in the midnight sun, or did you leave it back in '61?  
>In the cadence of a young man's eyes.<br>Out where the dreams all hide_

_._

Elena Gilbert took a deep breath before opening the door. Everything seemed quiet in there but her mother's car was on the driveway so she was sure that she was in the house.

"Why do I feel like we're in a horror movie?" Caroline whispered next to her.

"Because maybe we are." Elena answered in the same hushed voice.

The walked a few more steps until they reached the living room and there she was - Isobel Gilbert - sitting on the big cream couch with an edition of vanity fair on her lap.

"What are you doing here?" she asked the minute she spotted Elena, remembering that she cut all ties with her the minute she ran away with Damon.

"I need some of my personal documents that are still here." Elena asked with a cold voice while Caroline remained silent next to her.

"They're in the attic, you can look for them there." That was the only response her mother gave her before returning her attention to the magazine she was reading.

Elena was feeling beyond exasperated, the attitude of her mother was really getting the best of her, she did not need to feel guilty right now, and she wasn't. She did what was best for her so screw what the other people thought.

"Why? Can you tell me a good reason why you don't approve Damon?" Elena asked with reproach in her voice while Caroline observed her with eyes like plates.

"I don't feel like arguing about this with you." Isobel cut her off coldly.

"No, I deserve an answer. Tell me what is so wrong with him?"

"He's not the kind of guy I want for you Elena." Isobel dropped the magazine and turned to look at her daughter. "I've known guys like him, I loved one like him and in the end they always lead you on the wrong path, they will destroy you." In her mother's eyes there was an emotion that she couldn't recognize. "I had the luck of meeting your father, he saved me from it and you had the luck of meeting Stefan."

"But I don't love Stefan." Elena shouted at the top of her lungs. "And you know nothing of how Damon is, you don't even know him." Her chocolate eyes were blazing with fury. "So don't you dare tell me that he will destroy me because the only thing that man has ever done is save me." And with that she turned on her heels and left to the second floor. She was going to say hurtful things if she stayed in that room for one more second and she didn't wanted to doom herself by disrespecting her mother.

She also decided to stay silent about the letter thing, what was the point? Damon and her were together now and that was the only thing that mattered. On the way to the attic she walked by her bedroom and found it empty, they had moved out all of the rest of the stuff that belonged to her, there was nothing there anymore that could prove she had lived there.

Caroline looked at her with sad eyes and squeezed her hand softly while she tried to gain some composure and stop the tears from falling.

After a few minutes of checking stuff in the attic she felt more at ease, of course being with Caroline helped a lot, the blonde girl was going through old stuff and making her remember the good times.

"Oh my God Lena look at this." Caroline said while pulling a cat woman costume out of a box.

"Dear God, don't make me remember that." Elena said, covering her eyes. "That was the most humiliating moment of my life." A smile was gracing her lips at the reminder of the Halloween she wore that outfit. "I still can't believe you made me wear that piece of crap."

"Oh come on. You were so hot in that, I remember that Damon literally couldn't keep his eyes of you." A bright smile was placed on Caroline's lips.

Elena smiled softly remembering that Halloween, it was the only one she had spent with Damon so she took the costume and placed it in the box with the things she was going to take home.

"I think I've got everything I need." Elena muttered while organizing the documents she had selected but when she was going to close the box with the rest of them a folder captured her attention.

"What is this?" she murmured under her breath when she saw her name on the folder.

**Name of the mother: Elena Adriana Gilbert (underage)**

**Name of the father: Unknown**

What the hell was this? Her eyes skimmed through the document.

**Born: Alive**

**Premature -7 months of gestation-**

**Sex: Male**

What? She could feel all the blood drain from her body, her hands started shaking and her mind started to get foggy.

She took the second sheet of paper that was stapled to the document and observed it as well.

_**-**_**Adoption Form-**

**-Mother –Underage-**

**Mother's consent signature**_**:**_

_**Elena Gilbert**_

How in the world was her name there? That wasn't even her handwriting. She was only looking at bits of the document because of her blurry eyes, but there was no doubt of what this was.

**Parent's permission:**

_**Isobel Marie Fleming Gilbert**_

_**John August Gilbert**_

"Caroline." Elena whispered and her friend was at her side immediately. "What is it?" she handed the documents to her best friend.

"Oh my God Lena." Were the only words that Caroline could form at the minute.

"It is what I think it is, right?"

"Yes it is."

Elena closed her eyes while the tears started to fall and then she took the papers out of Caroline's hand and she got up and walked towards the door with a determination Caroline had never seen before.

"Elena, what are you going to do?!" she shouted but her friend was already gone.

Elena got down the stairs as fast as she could while tears kept falling and her body shaked with anger; her mother was now in the kitchen, currently washing some dishes.

"What the hell is this?" she dropped the documents on the counter and when Isobel turned to look at her the first thing she saw was the folder.

"That wasn't supposed to be there." she whispered the minute she recognized what it was.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Elena said with a sardonic laugh.

"Elena look-"

"You lied to me! My baby- my baby didn't die that night right?" Saying the words out loud made everything more real and she just couldn't conceive the idea of such a cruel atrocity.

"No, he didn't."

"He, because he was a boy right?" she hugged herself trying her best not to break down at the minute. "Why? You told me it was a girl and you told me she had died. Why?"

"Because a baby girl did die that day." Isobel was also starting to lose her composure, this wasn't supposed to happen. "They abandoned her and she died and we-"

"So, the grave I've been visiting belonged to that baby and not mine." she almost choked at the end of the sentence, it was like she couldn't breathe.

"Elena you have to understand-" Her mother pleaded with her.

"Understand what? That you ruined my life! That you kept my child away from me! Why, why?" Tears were falling furiously from her eyes and the only thing that stopped her from falling was Caroline's hand who gripped hers tightly.

"I wanted you to have a better life, to be able to reach your dreams." Isobel's eyes turned stony. "I was so young when I got pregnant with you that I wasn't able to do half of the things I dreamed of." Isobel always wanted to be a dancer, she loved it, she wanted to be great and travel the world but her young pregnancy stopped her from doing all of that. "I didn't want you to go through all of that. I wanted you to reach your dreams."

"And you never asked what I wanted?" Elena reproached her mother. "Maybe this baby was my dream. And you took him away from me, you denied me of my dream!" she said between sobs, she wanted Damon, right now, she needed him, his arms around her to keep her complete.

"Baby I just wanted the best for you-" Isobel broke down in tears as well and Caroline looked at her with disdain, how could she be the one crying? She ruined her child's life; she didn't deserve any compassion for what she did.

"Where is he?!" Elena shouted at the top of her lungs. "Where did you take him?"

"Elena..." Isobel took a deep breath before continuing. "Your son is Bobby.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Did you expected that?<strong> **Let me know what you think pretty pretty pleaseee and also** **if you could stop by my new story Flying without wings you would make so so happy :D **_

**_Love you guys,_**

**_Sam_**


	18. Great Stories

**_And here we go once again :) I really really hope you enjoy this chapter, it not the most happy chapter I've ever written but I actually liked a lot. I hope you're happy with the way the story is going, please let me know what you think in a review I could really use some love to come out of the depression state Pretty Little Liars let me in yesterday ) so pretty pretty please? _**

**_Thanks a lot to everyone who's still reading this and to Amy, she's an awsome beta even when I charge her with lots of documents :D_**

* * *

><p><em>It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. <em>

_The ones that really mattered. _

_Full of darkness and danger they were. _

_And sometimes you didn't want to know the end… because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? _

_But in the end, it's only a passing thing… this shadow. _

_Even darkness must pass. _

_A new day will come. _

_And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer._

**_The lord of the rings –J.R.R Tolkien-_**

_._

_._

It was as if time was stood still: she couldn't hear anything; she couldn't see anything. She was stuck in the moment and had no idea how to come out of it. It wasn't everyday that life gives you surprises like this one. Her child was alive, their child. The excitement that was running through her veins was incredible but it was also mixed with fear, anger and grief.

And then her mother's words resounded in her brain - your son is Bobby. Bobby? The kid she disliked so much? How was that possible, how was it that she didn't felt a connection to him? People always say that blood calls to you and stuff like that, so why she didn't feel it? The child that grew up as her cousin was her son?

In fact at the moment she felt like the worst human being in the world, she was disappointed, she didn't like the idea of Bobby being her child, how wrong was that? She was supposed to love him no matter what. This was all in her head, she had to love that child, he was her son after all.

"Do they know?" she said once she was able to find her voice. Caroline had her in a tight embrace.

"Of course they don't, your father made the arrangements." Elena sighed the moment she heard her mother's words, of course they didn't know, Grayson and Miranda wouldn't have let them do something so horrible to her, they were good people. "We wanted him to be with a good family."

"Don't!" Elena shouted angrily. "Don't act like you care about him!" Her glossy eyes were fixed on Isobel's face. "Because if you did you would have let him be with me!"

"Elena you have to understand-" Her mother started once again trying to make her understand her point of view.

"Understand what? There's nothing that can justify what you did." she started shaking from the force of her anger. "Did you know that I can't have any more babies?" Her broken eyes stared at her mother.

"What?"

"Doctors have said I won't ever have a baby again!" she shouted at the top of her lungs under the pained expression of her mother. "And you took the one I had away!"

"What's going on in here?" Jeremy said, walking down the stairs. "I can hear you guys screaming, is something wrong?" His eyes turned worried once he looked at the state his sister was in. "Lena what happened?" he murmured, walking closer to her.

"What happened is that Elena's baby didn't die, your parents gave him up for adoption without saying a word." Caroline's voice was laced with venom, she couldn't understand how someone could be that cruel to do something like that.

"What?" Jeremy asked, turning his attention to his mother. "Is it true?" His words demanded and Isobel could see how her world was crumbling down at her feet.

"Yes."

"How could you!" His accusing eyes pierced into the deepest part of her soul. "What gave you that right?"

"I was doing what was best for her!" Elena tightened her arms around Caroline, she couldn't listen to her mother once again, saying that she only wanted what was best for her because at the moment she couldn't care less, everything was wrong, it was like she couldn't breathe anymore.

"I need him, now. I need him." she said between sobs and both Jeremy and Caroline knew pretty well who she was referring to. She needed him to be here, it was the only way she could stay in one piece.

"I'll go call him." The blonde girl said while releasing her and placing her into her brother's arms.

"It's Bobby Jeremy." Elena sobbed against her brother's shirt. "Bobby is my son." And to say he was surprised was being short, Jeremy couldn't believe what his sister was saying, this entire situation seemed so unreal.

"Are you sure?" He murmured into his sister's hair

"Yes, they gave him to them" Elena sobbed against her brother's chest "My son is Bobby"

"No he isn't." John Gilbert's voice resounded through the whole kitchen.

"What are you saying?" Isobel looked at him confused. "You lied." Her eyes widened in understanding at the word her husband just said

"The night of the accident Miranda and Grayson had chosen Bobby already, I couldn't say anything to them, they already had the child in their home. The timing was just incredible" He said sardonically. John took a deep breath under the horrified stares of his family. "I didn't want that child with us, the reminder of my daughter's indiscretion, we just couldn't have him with us." he heard the gasp that left his daughter's mouth but was unable to look at her, not after what he had done.

"What did you do?" Elena shouted between tears. "What did you do with him?" she freed herself from Jeremy's grasp and walked until she was standing right in front of her father. "Tell me what you did with him!" she clenched both of her hands around his shirt and shook him, demanding an answer.

"I sent him to a nursery home, there in Chicago." Her brown eyes looked at him with hatred. "I don't know where he is now." The next thing he was aware of was Elena's hand smacking his cheek hard. The sound was going to echo in his ears for the rest of his life.

"Hey, hey." Jeremy pulled Elena away from her father and took her in his arms once again. "He's not worth it Lena, none of them are."

"I hate you!" Elena shouted at the top of her lungs. "I hate you both so much!" she fell onto the floor while Jeremy still had her in his arms. Shooting her, trying to gave her some comfort

"Elena." His warm and soothing voice had her looking up to meet his beautiful gaze, she could also see Caroline right behind him. Damon, he was finally here. "What happened here?" His worried eyes looked deeply into hers while he kneeled on the floor next to her.

"Take me out of here, please just take me out!" Elena cried brokenly and he could feel his heart breaking at the sight of her, he had no idea what had happened here but Caroline sounded worried on the phone so he arrived as fast as he could and now seeing both her and her mother crying he knew that something big had happened.

"I'm here don't worry, I'll get you out." he whispered softly while he took her in his arms and got up from the floor.

"Damon!" she sobbed against his neck while he murmured soothing words against her ear. She clutched to his body as hard as she could fearing that if she let go of him she would break into a thousand pieces.

"It's okay angel, It's all going to be fine." he kept repeating to her while he carried her out of her house with both Jeremy and Caroline behind them.

* * *

><p>The shouts and roars coming out of his mouth would have left anyone deaf, he threw everything that was in his path not really caring about destroying his own apartment. There were no words that could describe the way he was feeling right now. It was like every fiber of his being was burning with rage and the only way to fix it was to destroy everything in front of him.<p>

He just couldn't believe it, in his head there was no space for such an awful action, taking a son away from his mother? Who could do something like that? Elena's parents of course. They destroyed their lives and for no valuable reason, who gave them the right to mess with them?

He kicked his leg against his wooden table a few times until he heard it crack and saw it crumbling down to the floor.

"Hey, Damon you need to calm down!" Alaric's hand pressed against his back in a futile attempt to stop him.

"How in the world do you want me to calm down?" he shouted angrily as he removed the hand his friend had on him. "After what they did- I just want to-" he took both of his hands and placed them on each side of his head as if it would make everything go away. "I can't believe this."

"I know, none of us can but you need to say calm, for her." The mention of Elena was enough to bring him back to Earth, he slumped on the nearest couch while Alaric took a seat next to him.

"The crying stopped." he murmured under his breath.

"She's probably sleeping." Ric said softly. "Even though I don't know how she could do that while you were trashing this place." Damon gave him a guilty look before covering his eyes with his hands.

"I gave her a valium." Caroline said, walking out of the bedroom Elena was sleeping in, with Jeremy and Bonnie right behind her.

"Thanks." Damon said softly, looking into the blue eyes of the blonde girl.

"I still can't believe all of this is happening." The youngest Gilbert said while taking a seat on the couch opposite to where Damon's was.

"It's just, I never thought your parents could do such a thing." Bonnie murmured taking a seat next to Jeremy.

"I need to find him." The voice of Damon's resounded in everyone's ears. "I have to." His words were a broken whisper.

"Look, Bonnie and I have been talking and well, Lena's in a really bad place right now. I don't want to expose her to anymore stress, you know the trouble with her blood pleasure and-" Jeremy took a deep breath before continuing and his eyes pierced into Damon's. "Bonnie and I want to go to Chicago and see what we can find-"

"Jeremy I think it's great that you want to help-" Damon cut him off immediately, he didn't want the boy to get in any trouble because of him.

"Just wait, hear me out." The boy pleaded with him. "We know that Elena is in no condition to go to Chicago in the state she's in."

"Yeah, that's why I'm going."

"Damn will you just let him finish for the love of God!" Caroline said exasperated at Damon's attitude. A sly smile appeared on Ric's face as Damon looked at the blonde girl with a shocked expression.

"You can't leave her." Jeremy stated earning everyone's attention again. "Trust me we can all be here but she needs you, we both know that she won't be able to hold on alone, you have to stay here with her."

Damon closed his eyes trying to see the perspective of Jeremy. He wanted to go, he wanted to do anything in his power to find their child, he just couldn't sit here and do nothing but at the same time he just couldn't leave Elena all by herself, the idea of being apart from her once again was enough to cause a dull ache in his heart, especially in the state she was in.

"Fine, but you have to promise me that you will do anything to find him." His burning gaze was something that none of them had seen before.

"We will look in every corner of Chicago Damon; I promise I will find my nephew."

Damon nodded and got up from the couch, everyone was in dead silence still trying to process what had developed in the last few hours, his world had turned on its axis, they were supposed to be on the road by now but instead they were experiencing the most bittersweet joy he had ever know.

"I'll go check on her." he murmured before disappearing to his room.

Alaric was the next one to get up and head to the door. "I'm going to see Jenna, tell her everything, Jeremy wanna come?" The blonde man asked looking at the boy who was still on the couch.

"I don't know, I want to be here when she wakes up." he said softly.

"That could take a while Jer." Bonnie murmured. "You should go and clear your head."

"Yeah, we won't take long, we're just going for Jenna and we will be back, she cares a lot for Elena, I'm sure she would want to be here." Alaric said while placing a hand on the boy's shoulder.

"Yeah, Caroline and I will have dinner once you come back." The brunette girl said with a smile while she and the blonde headed to the kitchen.

Jeremy smiled and got up from the couch as well. "Do you guys think Damon will want to adopt us for the night?"

"Oh I think we can convince him." Ric answered with a smile on his face.

"Nothing better than us for a rainy day." Caroline said with a wide smile on her face.

Both men laughed at the blonde's comment and left the apartment with the promise of returning soon.

"So did you talk to her before the whole… incident?" Bonnie said while getting closer to Caroline who was currently going through Damon's fridge in order to find something to cook.

"Yes, I did." Caroline answered absently.

"And?" The brunette girl asked eagerly.

"She was very understanding Bonnie, she forgave me and we left everything in the past." Caroline smiled widely while placing some meat on the counter. "I think we'll have lasagna." she said to herself. "I mean it's the only thing I can cook." she joked.

"So everything is cool and there's no awkwardness between you two?" Bonnie asked ignoring her friend's comment about the lasagna.

"Nope, she was wonderful." A sad smile appeared on Caroline's lips. "I don't know why they did this to her. She didn't deserve it."

"I know. They're just awful people." Bonnie said with venom in her voice, she still couldn't believe how Isobel and John - people she grew up knowing - had done something so horrible.

The girls kept working a few more minutes in comfortable silence but the brunette girl couldn't hold on anymore the question that was running through her head

"And what about Stefan?" Bonnie inquired, changing the subject drastically.

"What about him?" Caroline answered trying to sound nonchalant.

"Are you gonna see him again?"

"No, I deserve someone who wants me and just me." Next thing Caroline knew was that Bonnie had threw herself in her arms.

"I'm so proud of you Care." The brunette girl said against her friend's hair. "Of course you deserve better."

The sound of the phone brought the girls out of their friendly moment. Caroline ran as fast as she could to pick up the phone fearing that Elena may wake up, but then if she was able to fall asleep hearing Damon trash the apartment, she doubts the ringing will wake her.

"Hello." she answered while Bonnie reunited all the ingredients for the lasagna.

"Who is it?" The brunette girl asked after a minute.

"It's for Damon." Caroline said softly while the man himself appeared in the room.

"Who?" he said in a whisper.

"Some woman from the adoption center, she said her name was Beth." The blonde girl answered and handed him the phone.

"Hello." Damon answered immediately.

"Mr. Salvatore, I hope you're having a good night." Damon rolled his eyes at her voice, he couldn't call it exactly good. "I was calling to let you know that your appointment for the adoption of Julian is on Monday, we have to move it forward due to some internal issues." The woman explained calmly from the other side. "I hope that's not an inconvenience, of course that is if you still want to adopt the kid." he could hear the hint of disapproval in her voice, after all the movements he and Elena had being doing lately she didn't trust them anymore, he was hoping that wasn't a problem that would stop them from getting the kid.

Did he really want to have Julian? He found out today that his son was alive and he wanted nothing more than to find him but that didn't mean that he didn't want to be the father of this kid, Julian had touched his heart in its deepest place and nothing was going to make him change his mind, he was going to get his son back and then he would have two children instead of one, he would love Julian just as his own or maybe even more.

"Yes, of course we still want him." he said with no trace of doubt in his voice. The woman gave him all the information about the date and after that hanged up after wishing him a good night once again.

"What was that about?" Bonnie asked from the kitchen.

"They wanted to know if we're still planning on adopting Julian." Damon said getting closer to the girls.

"Of course we do." he heard her whisper and turned to see her standing at the kitchen entrance, her robe was wrapped tightly against her body and her eyes still had a trace of sleep.

"Lena." Both girls whispered in unison.

"You're awake" Caroline said softly

"Yeah I guess not even valium can calm me down right now"

"We're making dinner." Bonnie said with a small smile. "Want to wait?"

"Yes please." she muttered under her breath as Damon walked closer to her and wrapped his strong arms around her.

"How are you feeling?" he asked into her hair.

"Numb." Damon didn't answer her instead he placed a soft kiss onto her forehead and tightened his arms around her. "We are getting our son back, right Damon?" she asked brokenly.

"Of course." she planted a small kiss on his chest and snuggled more into him while the girls tried to pretend they weren't seeing the scene. "I promise." His words were enough to calm her down once again, it didn't matter if he said the moon was made of cheese, she was going to believe everything coming out of this man's mouth.

"And we're also getting Julian right?" A bit of fear could be heard in her voice, she was so scared that they had denied them the possibility of being his parents. "I don't want to lose him."

"We won't." he stated. "You don't have to worry about anything Elena; I'm going to fix everything." he lifted up her chin and looked at her straight in the eye. "We're going to survive this Elena, we always survive."


	19. Be still and know that I'm with you

**_Heeeey, I'm back :) _**

**_I really don't have much to say except THANK YOU! to everyone who's still reading this, you guys are the best, like I said before we're alredy close to the end(not to close but close enough :p) so It would really mean a lot to me if you could leave me a review telling me if you liked the chapter and if you're still enjoying the story :D_**

**_Thanks a lot to Amy who always correct this for me and gives me amazing comments :D_**

**_Please, Enjoy_**

**_Love,_**

**_Sam :)_**

* * *

><p><em>When darkness comes upon you<em>_  
><em>_And covers you with fear and shame__  
><em>_Be still and know that I'm with you__  
><em>_And I will say your name__  
><em>_If terror falls upon your bed__  
><em>_And sleep no longer comes__  
><em>_Remember all the words I said__  
><em>_Be still, be still, and know_

**_Be still –The Fray-_**

_._

Three weeks, it had been almost three weeks since they found out the truth. Jeremy and Bonnie were in Chicago still trying to find anything they could about the baby but it seemed that they ended up empty handed every day. There were no records about the child - it was as if he had never existed.

Damon's chest ached with pain every time he saw the troubled look that was now permanent on Elena's face, he swore to protect her and now he just had to stay still while the world kept hurting her. The only thing he wanted was to relieve the pain her heart was in.

They had to admit her into hospital last week due her high blood pressure and the doctor said that she needed to stay in bed and rest with zero stress. The last one was almost impossible but Damon was making sure that she got as much rest as possible.

She was constantly telling him that he was over-reacting, that she was so much better now but he wasn't letting her out of that house anytime soon, he couldn't risk it anymore, that's why he didn't bring her to see Julian today.

It seemed that the adoption was finally happening, despite all the developments of the last few weeks the people in charge didn't see any objection in letting them keep Julian, especially since the kid was getting older - they know that it's really hard for the older kids to get adopted, so why refuse him this chance?

He was going to tell him today and see his reaction, he was wishing that the kid was happy about the decision, it would break his heart if he didn't want to go with them. It would break Elena's heart.

"Damon!" The soft melodic voice of the blonde child brought Damon back to the present and he lifted his eyes to see him running towards him.

"Hey there buddy!" he answered while Julian threw himself in his arms, locking him in a tight embrace.

"Where's Lena?" Julian answered once he let go of Damon and took a seat in one of the small green chairs in the salon.

"Well, she's been sick, so she couldn't make it today." The man answered sympathetically while he moved his chair closer until his legs were grazing the kids knees.

"But she's going to be okay, right?" The trace of worry in his voice didn't go unnoticed by Damon and a small smile crept onto his face.

"She'll be fine kiddo."

"So, when are you two getting married?" Julian asked with a big smile on his face. Damon always felt shocked at how straight forward this kid could be at this age, in some way it reminded him of how he used to be.

"Truth is, I don't really know buddy." Damon gave the most honest answer he could get, the same question was in his head too, there was nothing he wanted more than to turn Elena into his wife but he feared that maybe she thought it was to soon so he never brought the conversation up, especially now.

"But it will be soon right?"

"I hope so." The blue eyed man answered with a smirk on his face. "So, Julian, I'm here because I want to talk you about something." His tone turned more serious and for a minute the kid feared the worst; maybe they had both gotten tired of visiting him, maybe they didn't want him anymore.

"Okay." His response was simple as his stomach clenched with fear of the words that could come out of Damon's mouth.

"You see, Elena and I have been thinking and well, how would you feel about officially turning into our son?" Damon spoke each word carefully while he felt the hole in his stomach grow with anticipation. He saw Julian's eyes grow as big as plates but no word came out of his mouth. "Julian, come on, say something to me buddy?"

"Are you playing with me?" The voice of the kid was a small whisper as his eyes turned glossy with unshed tears.

"No, of course not Julian." Damon's voice grew warmer and he placed a hand on the child's knee. "Elena and I want to adopt you."

"But why?" That was not the response Damon was waiting for, did that mean he didn't want to be with them?

"Well, we care about you so much, and we have a connection with you that we can't explain Julian. We want you."

"But no-one has ever wanted me before." His blue eyes looked down and Damon was able to see small tears escaping his eyes. "Not even my parents."

"But we do, we want you so badly." He put his hand under his chin and lifted his small face so he was able to look into his blue eyes. "And from experience I can tell you that sometimes things happen that mess with us but that doesn't mean your parents didn't want you."

"That's not true; if they loved me I wouldn't be here."

"Hey, you can't think like that." Damon got up from his chair and kneeled in front of him. "I'm sure they loved you Julian." He circled his tiny form with his arms and hugged him tightly, as if doing this would make all of his pain go away, shielding him from the hurt and dangers of the world. "So, do you want to be our son?"

"You know I do." His voice was muffled against Damon's chest but he could feel him smiling against him.

Damon wanted to make him happy, to erase all of the hurt in his young life, to protect him from the world, the cruel world they lived in. Soon they would get their other son back and they could be the family he always dreamed of having.

* * *

><p>Her eyes were closed as her head rested against the wall, she could hear the voices in the other room but decided to stay there for a few more minutes. After three weeks she still couldn't believe what was happening to her, she thought her child was dead and now life was giving her a second chance.<p>

A week ago she started to see the bright side of the situation, yeah what her parents did was completely awful but now she was just grateful to know that her baby was okay and was out there somewhere, she just needed to find him.

She let out a sigh and looked at the room she was in while a small smile appeared on her face. Damon was going to be the best of the fathers, she still couldn't believe that he'd turned this room into Julian's. Her heart warmed at the memory of the little blond child, Damon was going to tell him today and she was praying that he would be happy about the idea; her heart would break into a thousand pieces if he decided not to go with them.

"Elena are you okay?" She heard Jenna's voice from the hallway.

"I'm fine." she answered opening the door of the room. "You don't have to check up on me every five minutes." Her lips were curved into a small smile.

"Well no, but if we're moving your stuff it's only fair that you help us." Jenna answered mocking her, Elena rolled her eyes at her and hugged her tightly before returning to Damon's room where Caroline was.

The room was full of boxes with her belongings; she had doubted this decision for the last few days, in fact she wasn't entirely convinced yet, which was why she left some her stuff in her apartment and decided to keep the place for a while. She loved Damon and wanted nothing more than to be with him, but she thought that maybe they were moving too fast, she was so scared that for some reason he would realize that she wasn't the one for him and then she would be all alone and homeless.

But he had been so insistent, he told her that he wanted nothing more than to live with her, they were practically doing that already. When he looked at her with those big blue eyes and a pout on his lips she just couldn't refuse him.

"You know…" Caroline's voice brought her back to the present and she watched with a smile on her face as the blonde girl rummaged through Damon's closet. "He really knows how to dress. Are you sure he's not gay?"

"Completely." The brunette girl answered firmly while a smirk appeared on her face and her eyes sparkled mischievously.

"Okay, that's all the answers we need." Jenna said smiling as she opened one of the boxes on top of the bed and started pulling out Elena's clothes.

"So, are you ready to forgive Alaric?" Elena said casually while pulling clothes out of the same box Jenna was currently working on.

"Oh yes, please. The man can't keep sulking about it." Caroline said from the closet. "It's painful to watch, really."

"I don't know, I mean, he's still married." Jenna said with a frown, yet they still weren't that serious but she at least hoped for a little bit of honesty, how was she supposed to trust him now after that?

"Well yeah, but he's not living with her or seeing her, it's just a piece of paper Jenna."

"It's not that easy Elena."

"Yes it is." Caroline said with a roll of her eyes. "Look Jenna, he loves you trust me, you can see it in his eyes every time he looks at you." The blonde girl walked closer to the bed. "Loving a person who doesn't loves you back is the most painful thing in the world, trust me I know." Elena's eyes looked at Caroline with admiration. "So if the one you love is loving you back you just have to enjoy it." Jenna looked down, really considering what Caroline had just said. "Plus, if I walk into the grill one more time while he's singing 'The shape of my heart' completely drunk I will shoot myself straight in the head." Jenna and Elena started to laugh so hard that the brunette girl had to sit down on the floor to try and catch her breath.

"That is a mental image I won't forget." Elena said with a huge smile on her face, she hadn't laughed that hard in the last weeks and she felt really thankful to Ric and Caroline for letting her do it now.

"Speaking of man and forgiveness, what about you Caroline?" Jenna asked with a stern voice, testing the waters. "You talked to Stefan?"

"What?!" The blonde girl asked with a shocked expression. "Does everyone already know about that?"

"Sorry Care, I have no idea how it happened but the thing between you and Stefan is of popular knowledge now." Elena said, giving her best friend an apologetic smile.

"It probably has something to do with us being sewn to each other for the last two weeks." Jenna said to the blonde girl.

They were being supportive to their friend which meant they had been sticking with Damon and Elena almost every waking minute, they didn't want them to go through all of that alone, they knew they needed the support, that's why she didn't take off to Chicago with Jeremy and Bonnie. Elena needed a distraction and Damon couldn't be glued to her 24/7.

"So?" Jenna asked Caroline with a raised brow.

"Well I haven't spoken with him since then, I didn't return any of his calls." Caroline looked at the box she was wrapping not making eye contact with any of the girls. "Damon told me that he went to Italy, he's going to spend some time there." There was a trace of sadness that didn't go unnoticed by any of the girls.

"And how do you feel about that?" Elena asked softly.

"I don't know yet." Caroline wiped her eyes softly and just like that she masked all the sadness behind a smile. "But who the hell cares about him?"

Elena and Jenna looked at each other but before any of them could comment on the blonde's change of attitude the phone rang and Elena ran as fast as she could to answer it.

"Hello." she said anxiously, hoping it would be Bonnie or Jeremy.

"Lena?" Her friend spoke from the other side of the phone.

"Yes Bonnie, it's me what happened?"

"I think we've found him, I mean not found him found him, but close to it." Bonnie explained quietly. Elena's heart was beating faster than ever at the excitement over the news Bonnie was giving her.

"Why? What do you know?" Her voice was trembling as she sat down on the bed followed by the two girls who quietly observed her reaction.

"Well since they have none of his records in the orphanage your dad left him in we've been going around in circles but just today we went to one of the last houses here in Chicago and there's a boy-" Elena felt like she was holding her breath for the entire conversation. "He arrived here from the same orphanage your baby was at, that was in 2005, he was two." Tears were gathering in her eyes as Caroline held onto her hand tightly. "He had deep blue eyes and he had a pathologic murmur in his heart that was giving him some troubles, his medical records said that he was born at 7 months of gestation."

"Oh my god, oh my god." Elena felt like her entire world was spinning, could it be? Could her baby be there? Excitement and fear were running through her body and she was trying her best to keep her emotions at bay.

"I know that it is pretty vague information but it all fits Lena." Bonnie said softly. She and Jeremy weren't sure whether to call her now or wait until they knew more, but given the circumstances they opted for the first option.

"It's okay Bonnie, I want to know everything, what's his name, where's he now?" The words were coming out of her mouth at full speed while tears kept falling from her eyes as Caroline and Jenna looked at her with their eyes tainted with tears as well. They couldn't believe that this was actually happening.

"He didn't have a name yet, here they called him 'Charming' you know, because of the prince." Bonnie said smiling softly. "They said he was so beautiful, breathtaking even, everyone in the orphanage was in love with him." Elena smiled through the tears at the words of her friend.

"Was? What do you mean was?" Panic started to rise up in her at the thought of losing her baby all over again.

"Because he's not here anymore." Bonnie took a deep breath before continuing. "They were crowed here and by fortunes desires they sent him to Mystic Falls before he turned 3."

"Oh my god." She dropped the phone out of her hand while a smile appeared on her face, her baby was here, he had been here the entire time. There were no words to describe how she was feeling at the moment, she was aware of Caroline taking the phone to speak with Bonnie but she couldn't register anything else.

Her baby was here, and she was not going to stop until she found him.

* * *

><p><em>If you forget the way to go<em>

_And lose where you came from_

_If no one is standing beside you_

_Be still and know I am_

_Be still and know that I'm with you_

_Be still and know I am_

_._

_._

She felt his arms wrap around her from behind and sighed contently into the pillow, she went to bed without him and after the events of the day it actually took a long time for sleep to come, the bed felt too big and cold without him but now he was back, making her heart feel warm inside - completing her.

"Sorry that I woke you." he murmured softly into her ear.

"It's okay baby, I'd choose you over sleep any day of the week." A small smile graced her lips as she turned in his embrace so she was able to stare at his handsome face.

"How are you?" he asked softly as he rubbed their noses together.

"I'm fine Damon, I told you that there's nothing to worry about, I'm better." she answered. She loved him for taking care of her but having Damon as your personal nurse could be quite stressful.

"It's just... I get worried." His voice showed a trace of vulnerability and Elena tightened her arms around him immediately. She wanted her body to melt into his, to attach their skins together and stay that way forever, he was her safe place and she didn't want to leave it ever again.

"I know Damon and I love you for that." Her lips pressed softly against his. "What's wrong?" she asked, tracing the frown on his forehead.

"I'm worried for Stefan too. He went to Italy and god knows when he'll be back." He closed his eyes for a moment. "And my dad is freaking out and taking it all out on poor Karen and-"

"What?"

"I can't stop worrying about you Lena, you've been so sad and sick the last few days and I promised to make you happy and I'm not exactly honouring that promise." There was a trace of sadness in his voice and Elena placed another sweet kiss on his lips.

"You've got an atlas complex you know, carrying the world on your shoulders." she murmured against his mouth.

"Only yours." He pressed their foreheads together and relished in the warm feeling of being with her.

"How's Julian?" Excitement was evident in her voice at the mention of the little blonde kid.

"He's good, I told him about the adoption." His blue eyes sparkled as he looked at her.

"And?"

"He's happy," The biggest of smiles made it's way onto his face. "I can't wait to have him here."

"I know." Her body got closer to him instinctively. "We are going to be so happy Damon, finally."

"Don't you doubt that princess." His lips took possession of hers in the sweetest of kisses, one charged with love and happiness, showing her that their souls belonged together.

"Bonnie called." Elena said breathlessly once their lips parted. "She said our son is in Mystic Falls, he's in one of the two orphanages here."

"What? Are you serious?"

"Yes, Damon. He's here."

"We're going to find him Lena, I promise you." He held her once again as she rested her head against his chest. "I would look in every corner of the world until we found him."

"I don't know what I would do without you Damon." she murmured against his chest.

Damon was everything she needed, he changed her, made her strong, made her feel things she didn't even know existed. He made her a better person. Suddenly, she felt sad for their parents, what they did to her was horrible but that only proved that they weren't capable of loving with such intensity as she was, that they weren't happy. If they had what she and Damon had they wouldn't need to destroy everything around them, they would understand what it is to love someone to the tip of your fingers, to do anything for them, suffer their pain and enjoy their happiness, to love beyond your control. Her parents didn't know the kind of love she and Damon shared, and for that she was so sorry.

"You do know that I will always be here to protect you right?" His voice was charged with emotion and Elena felt the hairs on her arms bristle at the sound.

"Of course I know, just like I will always be there for you."

"You are my special person Elena, and I would do anything for you: be there whenever you need me, be anything you want. You are it for me" He was never going to be able to put into words how much Elena meant to him, no-one would ever understand how great his love for her was. "I don't care how many things I have to carry on my shoulders, I would do anything for you."

Elena lifted her head and her chocolate eyes stared into his blue ones. One soul in two different bodies, she could never be grateful enough for the opportunity of being with this man, the love of her life, how many people can have the chance she had?

As their lips found each other once again they were consumed by the love that pulled them together, they worshiped their bodies as if they hadn't seen each other in years and just enjoyed the happiness of being reunited, knowing that no matter what they had to face, they would do it together.


	20. Lay it on me

**_Hellooooo I hope you guys are doing awsome, I must say I'm not, I got the most awful cold ever but I'm still here, so how about you beautiful people leave a review to make me feel better? :)...I know blackmailing is so low._**

**_Anywaaay, I really hope you like this chapter, here we learn the identity of the son of a certain couple so It's kind of a big chapter, I actually liked a lot how it turned out so I hope you do too. _**

**_We are even more close to the end now :)_**

**_Enjoy_**

* * *

><p><em>If you got dreams in your heart<em>

_Why don't you share them with me? And if dreams don't come true_

_I'll make sure that you're nightmares are through if you got pain in your heart why don't you share it with me? And we'll just wait and see if it's half what it used to be__._

**_Lay it down slow –Spiritualized-_**

_._

Her soft moans echoed in the spacious bathroom as the droplets of water fell upon her body. Their breathing was ragged as they enjoyed the blissful feeling of their bodies connecting.

His strong hips pushed against her roughly, trapping her against the cold tiles of the shower while her breasts suffered the agony of being pushed against the wall. His fingers gripped her hips hard, leaving small red marks on them but she couldn't care any less, she would let him mark her entire body if that meant feeling like this every day.

He was performing a sensual dance against her body as he fucked her from behind, every nerve ending in her body was on fire because of the sensations he was evoking in her. "Oh my, oh my..." Her voice was a bare whisper as he took her earlobe between his lips, sucking softly at first and then biting it hard.

She loved the duality that was his body, soft for moments only to surprise her with his roughness later, he was the perfect lover, the one every woman wanted in their lives and he was hers, and no-one else's. He sucked at her pulse point and her breath caught in her throat at the action; he knew how much she enjoyed that. She could feel the hickey forming there already but then again she didn't care, he was free to mark her as he wanted.

His hands found her breasts, relieving them from the suffering he put them up against; he played with her nipples softly, taking his time while he reduced the speed of his thrusts, knowing how annoyed that was going to make her.

"Please!" She wined, her voice muffled against the cold cream tile.

"Please what?" His voice was playful and even when she was getting extremely impatient she couldn't help but smile.

"Faster." She panted and he obliged immediately.

"Look at me." He demanded so she did as she was told. She threw her head back and craned her neck to be able to stare into the beautiful ocean blue eyes of the love of her life.

"I own you." She whispered looking straight into his eyes, his brows shot up in surprise at her comment. "You are mine, and you can never be with anyone else."

He let out a grunt and closed his eyes, he was losing control, what this woman did to him was something else, she bewitched him and he was going to be under her spell for the rest of his life. He was close, he could feel it so he placed one hand between her legs, touching the soft bundle of nerves that could make her tremble and placed the other one on her head so he was able to kiss her soft lips.

His sneaky tongue invaded her mouth and she loved every minute of it, he was demanding, trying to drink everything from her as the lower part of his body did the exact same thing, it was as if they were synchronized.

And then she felt it, the most wonderful feeling she had ever experienced, when it hit her it made her see stars, just like it did every time when she was with him. The thing that could never happen with another.

"Damon!" She shouted his name like a prayer unable to control herself, her head was thrown back against his shoulder as the shudders of her body subsided and then with two more trust he reached oblivion as well and he came hard and fast inside her which sent her to orgasm once again. She could feel his seed inside her and relished in it, the leftovers mixing with the water between her legs.

"My god Elena, you drive me crazy." He whispered against her ear before pulling out of her. She turned around and stared at his handsome face underneath the shower spray.

"I love you." She said charged with emotion before clinging to him once again and pressing her lips against his as she ran her hands through his dark hair. When he was inside her she could forget about everything else that was wrong with their world, when they were together there wasn't anything more important, they became the only people in the world.

"Well I love you more." He whispered against her lips once they pulled away, their foreheads pressed together as water kept falling on top of them. "Today is a big day, you know that I want to come with you." Damon opened his eyes and stared intently at her.

"I know, I'm on vacation still but you need to go to work, you've already missed so many days because of me."

"I don't care." He answered stubbornly.

"Damon don't worry," she stroked his face softly. "I'll be fine, plus Bonnie is coming with me."

"But I want to be there when-" She pressed her lips softly against his once again, stopping him from finishing the sentence.

"We're just going to ask some questions, there is no guarantee that we-" He placed a finger against her wet lips.

"We will find him." The conviction was evident in his voice and Elena's heart melted right there as a small smile crept onto her face, it was amazing what this man could do to her with one sentence.

"I know, and I can promise you I won't go to see him without you." Damon seemed satisfied with the answer so he let it be, she was right he did need to get back to work immediately, even though the idea of being away from her was unbearable, especially now.

"Come on, let's hurry." He said with a smile on his face. "We already waste so much water and we're nowhere near clean." His eyes sparkled mischievously as he took shampoo from the bottle and started massaging her hair.

* * *

><p>"Elena I'm so sorry but with the information you're giving me, there's not much I can do, really." Beth said with a sad smile as she ran her hands through her long blonde hair. "I mean, you don't even have a name."<p>

She was stupid to believe that everything was going to be so easy, if there was something she had learned in life it was that nothing was easy, in this moment she regretted that Damon wasn't here, Bonnie was waiting just outside the office but still it wasn't the same, she needed his strong arms around her to keep her sane.

"But… wait a second." The elder woman got up and started rummaging through one of the drawers of the desk next to the window. "Here it is." She returned to sit on the couch Elena was on and handed her a small sheet of paper with a name on it.

"I don't understand." Elena said confused.

"You see, the information you're giving me is pretty vague so I really can't help you find anything, I came here just a few months before you." Elena nodded swiftly. "But according to what you're telling me this baby came here long before that, Monica, she got me this job, she used to work here, so if someone here can know about your baby it's her."

Elena saw a ray of light in the darkness that was her life at the moment, this reminded her that she had to keep her hope alive, she couldn't just give up, she owed it to her son and to Damon, they wouldn't be in this mess if she had followed her heart instead of her head.

"The address is in there, I'm sure she'll be able to help you." A small smile appeared on Beth's face and Elena smiled back at her, she always loved that motherly aura that the elder woman had.

"Thank you so much Beth, you have no idea how much I appreciate this." She got up from the couch and took her purse that was resting on the table.

"Hold on a second Elena, before you go I want to tell you something." The woman spoke slowly and the look in her eyes forced Elena to sit down once again.

"Okay."

"I am very sorry about what happened to you." A trace of sadness appeared on her face. "What your parents did to you was just awful and I understand that you want your son back." Elena was starting to see where this was going and immediately put herself on the defensive.

"I do want him."

"You have to consider all your options here, you can't keep playing like this with him." Her eyes turned accusative. "The adoption will be ready for Monday and if you're not sure it's better to just end this immediately."

"I want him." There was no trace of doubt in her voice. "Don't you get it, Julian is my son whether I brought him into the world or not, maybe my blood is not running through his veins but he is my son." The force of her words made Beth flinch. "I love my job, and I love every single one of the children in here, but since the moment I saw Julian I knew there was something different with him, I took care of him when he got sick, stayed with him when he couldn't sleep, made him eat his vegetables, he learned how to read and write with me." Her glossy brown eyes looked deeply at the woman in front of her. "I've only been with him for the last three years but in that period of time I've learned how to love him, he has grown up in front of my eyes, so no matter what science or people say, he is my son."

She hated how they kept putting her love for the kid under judgment, people couldn't understand what she felt for him, they didn't know that family isn't just the one you share blood with, just as Caroline and Bonnie were her sisters even though they hadn't got the same parents, Julian was her son.

"Okay then." Beth nodded softly, still a bit shaken off by the young woman's words, she was so young but she already knew what she wanted, she never felt more proud of Elena Gilbert. "I just wanted to be sure."

"Well, now you are."

* * *

><p><em>If you've got love in your heart why don't you keep it with mine? I can't promise a miracle but I'll always be trying<em>

_._

Time went slower today, the hands on the wall clock couldn't go any slower. He loved his job he really did, when he was working he felt like the most important person in the world, there was nothing that he couldn't do, everything was under control. But today, he hated it. He couldn't wait until everything was finished so he could go back home to her, he needed to know how she was doing and she wasn't answering her phone. He contemplated leaving the office and reaching her but he knew that she would be angry, so he just stayed where he we was.

Finally after what seemed like ages all the work was done and he was free to go home, he had never been happier to leave that office in his entire life. He drove as fast as he could, probably breaking some traffic rules but finally he was back in no time. As he stepped out of the elevator anticipation started taking control of his body, it was ridiculous he'd just seen her this morning, but he never needed her as much as now, he needed her in his arms.

However nothing prepared him for what he was going to find once he inserted the key in the lock and opened the door.

"What the hell?" He muttered when he saw Caroline Forbes cooking in his kitchen, a further look let him know that Alaric and Jeremy were entertaining themselves in the living room.

"Hi Damon." The blonde girl chirped excitedly and in that moment he knew this was going to be a long afternoon.

"Where's Elena?" He asked immediately.

"Oh she's not here, she called a few minutes ago and said she was going to some lady who might know something about your son." Caroline said as if it wasn't a big deal.

"What do you mean she's not here? Then how are you here?" His confused eyes stared at her. "And which lady? Where? Why isn't she answering me?"

"Okay slow down." She placed the knife next to the vegetables on the table and cleaned her hands with a towel. "We're here thanks to the key under the rug." Damon rolled his eyes at her, now he regretted telling Elena about the damn key under the rug. "And Elena didn't want to concern you and she knows that's going to happen the minute you speak to her so that's why she's not answering."

Damon felt like killing her at this moment, yes he was a little overprotective but come on she couldn't just go and find their son without him, this woman was in fact really infuriating. He took a deep breath trying to gain some composure; everyone could see the smoke literally coming out of him.

"Hey Damon, let it be please, you know how stubborn Elena can be and in her head she's doing the right thing." Jeremy said stepping into the kitchen. "I think she wanted to spare you the pain in case she can't find anything."

"I think it's a little late for that." Damon answered in a hard tone. "But fine, I'll let this one go but I swear to God that if she starts doing things behind my back I will lock her in this house forever." He muttered before opening the fridge and grabbing a bottle of water.

"Bonnie says that they'll be back soon." Jeremy said looking at his phone. Caroline and Damon looked at him amused as he smiled at something on his phone.

"Why are you grinning like a stupid idiot?" Damon asked bluntly, as always he had absolutely no gentleness when it came to talk.

"What?" The boy asked with a confused look. "I wasn't grinning like a stupid idiot." His tone was offended but he couldn't hide the small smile that was appearing on his face.

"Oh no" Caroline said and cocked her head.

"What?" Both Jeremy and Damon turned to her with a questioning look.

"He's so doing it with Bonnie." The blonde girl said with a roll of her eyes.

"What? That's so not-that's-" Jeremy blushed a deep red and just looked down unable to form any coherent sentence.

"What? Are you kidding me?" Damon looked at him startled. "You're doing it with judgy, God you're one brave man."

"What are you guys murmuring about?" Alaric said as he appeared in the kitchen as well.

"Oh we were just saying that we're really happy that Jenna forgave you." Damon said with a smirk. "We couldn't stand one more performance of 'The Shape of My Heart'." Caroline burst into gigles as Alaric gave Damon a nasty look. "It's just... Backstreet Boys Ric, seriously?" Damon said with a smirk while Caroline kept laughing like a lunatic.

"You guys are never going to forget that, right?"

"Nope." Damon answered with a smile.

"But seriously what were you guys were talking about?" Ric said again, feeling a little bit left out of the group.

"Oh well, Jeremy is doing it with Judgy." Damon said with a horrifed expression.

"Are you serious?" Ric said looking at Jeremy.

"Well, we're trying to have some kind of relationship." The boy said timidly.

"Dude, do you not have any taste at all?" Damon said with a frown which earned him a jab on the side from Caroline.

"Elena knows about this?" Alaric answered.

"Bonnie was going to tell her today."

"Oh god." Damon muttered before drinking a long gulp of water. As if he needed any more trouble, he was positive that Elena was going to freak out about this.

Ric started to pick on Jeremy about his relationship with Bonnie while Caroline and Damon looked at them amused, after all he was glad to have them here, he would never admit that out loud but these people made his life better, they were his friends even though he hated them sometimes.

Once Jeremy and Ric went back to occupy their spot in front of the TV Caroline took the opportunity to ask Damon what she had wanted to know all week.

"So, did you hear anything from Stefan?" She wasn't able to meet his eyes so she pretended to be occupied with finishing lunch.

"Kind of." He murmured, this wasn't his favorite subject and he had no intention of sharing it with Caroline but he figured that the blonde deserved answers after what his brother did to her. "My dad said he's in Verona right now visiting some relatives, he'll be back when he's ready, we don't know how long it will be but I guess he's okay, he's better than he would be if he was here anyway."

Damon would never regret being with Elena but what he did regret was hurting his brother, even though sometimes he pretended not to care, Stefan was very important to him and hurting him was not what he had wanted to do. He hoped Stefan could find the peace and happiness he needed, and maybe someday in the future he could forgive him.

"I guess that's fine, I mean he just needs some time to heal." Caroline murmured and then put the food in the oven before walking to the living room where the boys were, she didn't want to discuss Stefan any further.

She couldn't help but worry about him and wonder what was he doing but the best for her was just to let go, they weren't meant to be and there wasn't anything she could do about it.

* * *

><p>Elena felt like the minutes couldn't go any slower, Monica had gone for some tea and she was in the living room waiting for her, she liked the woman immediately, she was around 60 with white long hair and a heart shaped face, very motherly, Elena thought.<p>

Silently she was praying to God for some help, she wanted nothing more than this woman to have any information about her child. She knew Damon was going to be angry about her coming to see Monica on her own but she needed to do this alone, she didn't want to give him hope just to crush him down later, she couldn't make him suffer anymore.

Today had been quiet an interesting day, first there was the chance that she would find out the identity of her son today and then well, Bonnie and Jeremy were a thing now, that was weird - beyond weird, in fact she freaked out at the beginning but she was kind of accepting it now, who was she to decide who her brother could or couldn't date, if he loved her and she made him happy that was fine with her.

Bonnie had an emergency call from her grandmother so she had to go but promised to come back and pick her up. Elena could hear the soft footsteps of the elder woman and lifted her eyes to see her walking back into the living room.

She placed a tray with porcelain cups on the table and offered one to her, it was delicious and Elena felt instantly relaxed.

"Well darling my memory isn't what it used to be, but I'm sure that we can work something out." The woman said with a smile on her face, Elena had already told her everything and she said she would do all in her power to help, but the lack of documents was a real problem.

"You say this boy; your son came from Chicago?"

"Yes he did, it was around 2006." Elena said nervously, her stomach was tied in knots at the moment. "He didn't have a name, or at least not that we know of."

"Well that makes everything so much harder, no name, no records..." The woman said shaking her head slightly, Elena knew she was right it was almost impossible to find him.

"Wait, he had no name but they called him Charming, because of the prince." She said with a smile on her face.

"Oh my." A look of amazement appeared on the woman's face. "How could I ever forget about that boy?" Hope started blossoming in Elena at the words the woman said. "He was like an angel, so beautiful and sweet, the most lovable baby I have ever met."

"So you do know him? My son?" Tears were gathering in Elena's eyes, the woman took both of her hands between hers and gave her a reassuring smile.

"Of course I do, sandy blonde hair and blue eyes." She closed her eyes for a moment still with a smile on her face. "I gave your son his name, child."

"So, please tell me, I need to know." Elena gripped her hands tightly and her brown eyes pleaded with her.

"I was quite a fan of John Lennon." The woman said with a funny expression. "So I named him after his son, Julian."

"What?" All the air had left Elena's lungs and she was sure she would pass out at any minute.

"Yes, his name is Julian. And as far as I know your child is still in that orphanage." Monica smiled softly as she watched tears fall from Elena's eyes as a smile appeared on her face.

Sandy blond hair and blue eyes, Julian, eight years old, pathological murmur... it all made sense now, could it be? Was Julian her son?

* * *

><p><em><strong> I know, I know that will never happen in real life right? But that's why I love fiction! <strong>_

_** Did you guys saw that one comming? I bet you did :)**_

_**Unfortunately I won't be able to update in the next three weeks, maybe, let's hope two, since my exams are starting. So, bear with me please :)**_

_**Love, **_

_**Sam**_


	21. Nobody said it was easy

**_Okaaay, I'm so sorry, really really sorry for the delay, I have no excuse, seriously. But now I'm back :) And I promise you that I will try my best to have the next chapter within the next week. Thank you a lot to everyone who are still reading this and of course to Amy for editing it for me._**

**_Hope you enjoy it _**

_**P.S Aren't you guys excited about this Thursday episode?** _

* * *

><p><em>Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry, you don't know how lovely you are <em>

_I had to find you, tell you I need you; tell you I set you apart_

_ Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions _

_Oh let's go back to the start_

**_The scientist –Coldplay-_**

_._

_._

He was going to kill her, he was sure that the moment the girl walked through his door he would kill her. He was dying with worry yet she still didn't even bother to call, he loved her so much, more than he could express but she kept constantly bringing out his worst side, she was going to be the death of him.

Alaric, Caroline and Jeremy were entertaining themselves with the damn rock band game, they had played it over and over for the last forty minutes; he was actually starting to dislike the game.

His mind kept going over and over possible scenarios and all of them were bad. Maybe something bad had happened to her or she had found out their child was with another family and now she was depressed and was going to keep him out of things like she always did. Loving Elena Gilbert was definitely hard, but still it was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

"Come on Damon, we can team up against them!" Caroline shouted from the living room while 'Creep' by Radiohead sounded in the background.

"I think I'll pass blondie!" Damon shouted back while pouring a glass of bourbon and drinking without hesitation.

"But they've teamed up against me… and they're kicking my ass!" the blonde girl shouted once again. "Come on Damon, pretty pretty please?" he could hear the plea in her voice and rolled his eyes at how dramatic this girl could be, but even so he liked her, not that he would admit it any time soon.

"Fine, fine. I'll rescue you." He said in an overdramatic tone, imitating his blonde team-mate.

Damon walked to the living room and saw Caroline on top of his couch while Jeremy and Alaric were next to her, of course they were on the floor, because they have some respect for private property, but he decided to keep his mouth shut and not say anything, because after all Caroline had been really helpful and he wanted to save all his strength to yell at Elena the minute her pretty little face walked through his door.

"It's your turn to pick the song." Jeremy said with a smile. "Not that it matters, we're still kicking your ass." A small smirk appeared on Damon's face at the comment.

"Not a chance baby Gilbert." He took the guitar and placed the strap over his shoulder. "I'm awesome at this game, not like Nick Carter over there who sucks at this." He said giving a head gesture to Alaric who rolled his eyes at the comment.

"Can we please stop with the Backstreet Boys jokes?"

"Haha I think it's going to be a while until we get tired of it." Caroline said while laughing.

"Traitor." Alaric muttered under his breath while giving her a nasty look, after all she had been the one who told everyone about his performances at the Grill.

Caroline ended up picking the song, of course Damon had no option, there was no way to make the blonde girl follow an order, she chose The Kill by Thirty Seconds to Mars, a great choice Damon thought to himself, he was awesome at that damn song.

After three more songs, it turned out he was right, he was tremendous at this game. He had managed to turn the score around and now they were beating the Backstreet Boys team and for a minute Damon was able to just relax and forget about his anger towards a certain brunette haired girl. Of course the minute Jeremy choose Hysteria by Muse his thoughts rushed back to her, because well how could that song not remind him of her?

Despite the loud music and the screams and cheers from the people in the room he was able to hear her the minute her heels touched the floor. He removed the guitar from his shoulder and walked towards the door while the three remaining people stared at him with shock.

"I guess that means we win." Alaric murmured.

The three of them immediately rushed to the door as well, they didn't want to miss one second of the exchange between the lovers.

"I could kill you, I swear to God I could kill you." He said the minute he saw her with Bonnie walking right behind her. "Who do you think you are? You didn't even answer my damn calls Elena!" his furious voice echoed through the whole apartment. "Seriously what were-" His sentence was stopped when she threw herself into his arms while small tears fell from her eyes.

"What happened?" he asked with a soft voice. Who the hell was he kidding? This girl had him wrapped around her tiny finger, he could not stay mad at her right now or ever.

"Damon!" she wailed against his chest while her arms clutched his body tightly.

"Lena what happened?" his voice was worried now; he lifted his eyes to stare at Bonnie who smiled at him. Okay, Bonnie was smiling? At him? Something definitely happened there. "You found him? Am I right?"

She lifted her head and her brown eyes stared deeply into his blue ones. "I found him." She murmured and he could hear the emotion in her voice, it was the same that was there when she first told him she loved him, it was the sound of happiness.

"Where is he? How is he? What's his name?" He couldn't control the words coming out of his mouth, he wanted to know everything about their child right now, after the excruciating morning he'd had, he deserved answers.

"Damon." She closed her eyes and buried her head in his chest once again.

"Elena good lord talk to me." He muttered unable to hide his despair. Four pairs of eyes stared at them intently; all of them were holding their breath.

"Julian." The word left her mouth as a gentle whisper. "Our son is Julian." Damon took her face between his hands and looked deeply at her.

"You're joking?" the surprise in his voice was evident; a surge of adrenaline was going through his entire body.

"No, he's our son Damon. He's been with us this entire time." A smile made its way onto her face and Damon stared at her blankly, still having trouble absorbing the news while he could hear the gasps that left their friends mouths.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, well I mean we still need to do DNA tests and all but I'm sure Damon, he is, he's our son." Damon took her in his arms and started spinning her around the room while she laughed her head off.

"We found him!" he shouted at the top of his lungs while Elena clutched his arms tightly. After a few seconds he stopped and placed her on the ground, he kissed her lips softly and she responded eagerly, she'd finally found that part of her that was missing, the part that had been with her this whole time.

"A blonde kid out of brunette parents." Alaric's voice brought them out of their trance; Damon broke the kiss and looked at his best friend. "What were the odds?" Ric said with a sly smile.

"My mom, she was blonde." Damon said with a smile of his own. The fact that Julian had something of his mother and not his father made his day better.

"I cannot believe this." Jeremy murmured.

"I know." Elena said with a smile as she placed another kiss on Damon's lips.

"Come on you guys, group hug!" Caroline said excitedly as she ran towards the couple.

"She does know how to ruin the moment." Damon said in Elena's ear. She just giggled at his words but opened her arms to embrace Caroline and then Damon was hugging them too. This was the one and only time he would do something as cheesy as this, but come on he was happy, he had the right to be as cheesy as he wanted. Jeremy and Bonnie soon joined the three of them and they stayed locked together.

"Come on Ric, you know you want to hug us." Damon said, raising his head and looking at his best friend who was still standing next to the wall.

"Nah, these things are not my style." He said nonchalantly.

"Come on Ric, it's a happy moment." Elena said with a smile.

"Yes, Ric, hug us and I promise we will never say another Backstreet Boys joke again!" Caroline said excitedly, the man thought about it for a moment but in the end he just couldn't resist them so he walked towards them and joined their group hug.

"You do know I'm not keeping that promise." Damon said with a smirk.

"Yes, I do." Ric answered back.

This moment felt perfect, it was like life was giving him back all the things that were denied to him during the years, the love of Elena, the love of his child and the love of great people like these, his friends. Everything was slowly falling into place and he couldn't be happier for it.

* * *

><p>Elena couldn't remember ever feeling this nervous, well that wasn't entirely true of course. There was the first time she and Damon met or the first time they made love or at the wedding but even so she couldn't control the emotions going off inside her. Today was the day that the adoption of Julian would be complete, the day they would take him home with them and it was also the day they would inform him that he is their son, their birth son.<p>

Now they were absolutely sure, they gave the results of Julian's DNA to them yesterday and there was no doubt that they were his parents. This whole situation seemed way too surreal for her, what were the odds? Her son had been with her during the last three years, the child she'd loved since the first moment she met him and the one that had turned into a big part of her life was in fact her child; it seemed like something out of a movie.

She couldn't be more grateful, after everything that had happened to them this was something to be happy for, they have found their child and now they could finally be happy together, the three of them.

Damon's hand squeezing hers brought her out of her thoughts, she turned her head and looked into his blue eyes that were full of fear, she still couldn't help but be amazed. They have come so far. A few months ago she was with Stefan and in that moment the idea of being with Damon again had been so far away but now she was with him, and they would never be apart again.

"Are you afraid?" she asked in a soft voice while stroking his cheek with her hand.

"Of course I am." He answered looking deeply into her eyes. They were sitting in the small office of the orphanage waiting for Beth that would come with Julian in a matter of minutes. They had told the child that Damon and Elena had some important news for him. "You know I just keep waiting for everything to blow up in my face." His melancholic eyes looked down and Elena felt a stab of pain in her heart.

He always thought the worst of situations, and how could he not? During his whole life Damon had been hurt an uncountable number of times and a lot of them were her fault. He had learned to not expect good things and that made Elena incredibly sad, she was going to make sure that Damon was happy, in that moment her mission in life was to make him believe in good things, to know that he had the right to be happy, that he was loved, and that good things could happen to him as well.

"Everything's going to be fine Damon." She leaned in by a few inches and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. "And if it's not, we still have each other to work through it with." He smiled against her lips and held her close.

"I love you Elena." He whispered softly into her ear. It still surprised her how he could make her heart stop beating with just that one sentence.

"I love you too Damon." She said with a smile on her lips. "Always have, always will." Her brown eyes looked into his deep ones and she felt drawn to him immediately, Damon was the only person in the whole world who could turn her into jelly with just one look.

"What are we gonna tell him?" Damon said, breaking the contact between them.

"I really don't know, I think I might lose my capacity to speak once I see him again." Elena said while twisting her hands nervously in her lap.

"It must be something clever." Damon said and scratched his head. "I mean we can't just say 'Hey Julian what do you know, we're your birth parents. Yay!"

"You're crazy." Elena said rolling her eyes with a big smile on her face, she loved how he could make her feel so relaxed in a matter of minutes. "Clever like what?" She said looking at him with a raised brow.

"I don't know, something like 'Julian, when Elena and I were young we could barely keep our hands of each other-"

"Really? You want to tell him that?" Elena cut him off and gave him a disturbed look. "You don't want to scar the kid for life."

"Alright then, don't get your panties in a twist." He mocked her. "Well then I guess we could say 'Julian, Elena and I were so in love, and well you know what happens when people are in love, she couldn't get enough of me so she was always trying to get into-"

"Okay, stop, stop." She said trying to sound offended but doing her best to keep the smile off of her face. "We could aways tell the true story."

"Oh, and what story will that be?" Damon asked with curiosity.

"Well we could say 'Julian, when we were young Damon was an ass (well he still is) so he went to a party in the forest, knocked my friend to the ground, dragged me out there like the caveman he is and then had his wicked way with me on top of his car." Elena finished the story with a proud smile while Damon observed her with an open mouth.

"And you thought I was going to scar him for life." He mocked her once again. "Hold on, that's when we conceived him?"

"Yeap, not very romantic right?"

"No, I guess not." Damon answered with a serious expression. "But that was so damn hot." A smirk appeared on his face and Elena rolled her eyes at him. "I mean now that you're saying it, I'm not even surprised, I was so damn horny that day." Elena smacked his arm hard before giving him a languid kiss that left him wanting more.

"Well if it was that hot, maybe we can re-act it one of these days." She said wickedly near his mouth while her brown eyes looked at him with lust.

"It's like you're reading my mind." He whispered before taking her lips into another hot kiss. She couldn't believe she was kissing him like this here, she was always surprised by how this man made her lose all reason. She was so absorbed in their kiss that she didn't hear the footsteps coming towards them.

"We're here." The voice of Beth made her turn around and look at the little blonde boy on the doorstep while the blush appeared on her face. She had to stop doing this with Damon in public.

Her son, her son was in front of her, he had been there the entire time. Her eyes turned glassy and she felt the pressure of Damon's hand on hers.

"What's with the faces?" Julian asked with a frown and Elena wanted to cry right there, how could she not see that before? The kid was so alike to Damon in so many ways.

"Julian, Damon and Elena want to say something to you." Beth explained softly to the 8 year old boy who only nodded. Elena wanted to say something but was at a loss for words, nothing seemed to able to come out of her mouth.

"Well Julian, as you know we were making the arrangements for your adoption." Damon started talking once he saw that Elena was in no condition of doing so. "And it's official, you are coming with us today." The boy's face lit up with happiness and he immediately ran towards the couple who embraced him tightly, their family was finally complete now.

"I love you guys so much." He murmured against Elena's neck while Damon rubbed his hand across his back, they were both kneeled on the floor with him. "This is a dream come true."

"But we found something out recently." Damon continued once they released the kid. He gave one look to Elena and she nodded. "Julian, we are your parents. Your birth parents."

Elena swore her heart stopped beating and her breath caught in her throat, she could feel Damon's hands shaking next to her and all she wanted to do was cry, this was definitely the most emotional moment of her entire life.

"My real parents?" The kid asked with a frown. His blue eyes turned to look at Beth, the elder woman nodded to him, confirming what the couple was saying. "So…you abandoned me?" His blue eyes started tearing up and Elena wanted to kick herself. Why didn't she think of this? She was so concerned about what they were going to tell him that she didn't anticipate his reaction.

"Julian, we didn't abandon you. It wasn't like that." Her voice finally returned to her, she held the tiny hand of the boy and looked into his eyes. "I loved you a lot but-"

"No!" Julian released himself from Elena's grasp. "You left me, you left me because you didn't love me." Big tears were falling from his blue eyes and both Damon and Elena found themselves lost for words. It was like everything froze for them. "You didn't want me." Julian wailed as he moved back to be away from them.

"Julian you have to let them explain it to you." Beth tried to reason with the boy. "Things aren't the way-"

"No! I hate you! I hate you so much!" he yelled to the top of his lungs and ran away from the office as fast as he could. Elena couldn't control it anymore and collapsed into tears in Damon's arms.

.

.

_Nobody said it was easy It's such a shame for us to part _

_Nobody said it was easy _

_No one ever said it would be this hard_

* * *

><p><strong><em>So what do you think? Things couldn't be that easy right? Please just bear with me, the end is so close :)<em>**


	22. The Lost Valentine

**_Okay, So I'm so sorry because I didn't have this chapter up when I said, but I was having troubles with school and my beta with her computer, but again I'm really sorry. Thanks to everyone who's still reading this, I can thank you enough for taking this journey with me. One more chapter and that's it folks, we're almost done :)_**

**_Huge thanks to Amy for being an amazing beta and of course to all of you_**

**_Enjoy_**

_**P.S Aren't you guys excited about Delena in the show? We've come so far you guys!** :D_

* * *

><p><em>When I think back about when we were growing up together,<em>

_I remember so many things._

_But for the life of me,_

_I can't remember a time when I wasn't in love with you._

**_-The lost valentine-_**

**_._**

**_._**

"Are you sure you're alright?" Caroline asked with a frown. The three girls were sitting Indian style, forming a circle, in Damon's living room.

"Yes Caroline I swear I'm fine," Elena answered in a soft voice. "I mean I can't really be surprised, of course he would think that."

"He'll come around Lena, you'll see." Bonnie said after taking a sip of her soda. "He just needs time."

"I know, I just wish it was fast." Elena let out a breath. "It's been two weeks and he's still refusing to speak to us, he was supposed to be with us already." She closed her eyes briefly, she didn't want to cry, not again. "Beth is keeping him there because she knows how the situation is, but the supervisors are going to start asking questions and I don't want them to take away the custody." She felt the pressure of both Caroline and Bonnie's hands on her arms.

"Everything is going to be alright." Caroline gave her a warm smile. "You'll see."

"Thank you girls, I really don't know what I would do without you." Elena smiled at both of them and squeezed their hands softly. "But enough about me, please, I want to hear about someone else's troubles so I can feel better." Caroline and Bonnie both laughed at this before giving Elena a tight hug.

"Well… I may have something to say." The blonde girl said in a whisper and both girls turned their attention to her.

"Come on, spill." Bonnie said urgently.

"Stefan called me yesterday."

"What?!" both girls shouted in unison.

"What did he say?" Elena said with her complete attention focused on her friend.

"That he was sorry, that he truly understood now the pain that he had caused me, that it was never his intention." Caroline took a deep breath and continued. "He said that he's doing pretty good in Italy and that it may take a while until he's back." Caroline worried her bottom lip and the girls could see that she was making a big effort to not cry.

"It's okay to be sad." Elena murmured while taking her friend's hand.

"He said that now he can understand the love you and Damon share, that he should have known that you two belonged together and he wanted me to tell you that he's not resentful towards you." The blue eyes of the blonde girl looked into Elena's.

The brunette girl smiled softly, she'd never wanted Stefan's hate. He had been so good and kind to her when she need it, he had saved her in so many ways and she was always going to be thankful for it, in a way she was always going to love him, but just not in the way he wanted, that kind of love was reserved only for Damon. And now she knew that Stefan never loved her in that way either, they were just two confused kids.

"Thank you." She murmured softly.

"He also wanted me to tell Damon that he wishes to fix things with him, he doesn't hate him and he hopes one day they can be a family again." Elena knew how much this was going to mean for Damon, despite all the things he'd said and even when he pretended not to care, Damon loved his brother and being away from him was eating him up inside.

"That's good right?" Bonnie said excitedly. "I mean everything is coming back where it belongs, it seems like we're finally coming out of this hurricane."

"Yeah, I think so." Caroline said with a small smile.

"Well, not everything." Elena murmured from her spot.

"Julian is going to come around Lena, you'll see." Bonnie said with a smile.

"I wasn't talking about him, I was talking about my parents." Elena looked down before continuing. "I mean Jeremy is now living in my old apartment and I'm living here with Damon, they're all alone now."

"Well, it's the least they deserve." The blonde girl spluttered out with an angry voice.

"Caroline." Bonnie chided her softly.

"What?" she replied with a raised brow. "After what they did to Elena you can't expect anything less."

"Yeah but they're still her parents." Bonnie scolded her once again.

"It's okay Bon, Caroline is right." Elena muttered softly. She didn't hate them, she could never hate them, they were her parents but she wasn't sure whether she would be able to forgive them one day.

A knock on the door interrupted the girls, Elena got up slowly thinking that it was probably Jeremy picking up Bonnie, but she was shocked when the door revealed her favorite uncle, her uncle Grayson.

"Hello kiddo." His warm eyes looked softly at her and Elena immediately hugged him tightly. "How are you doing?"

"I'm good, I'm really good." Elena smiled against him while he rubbed her back softly.

"I think we have some things to talk about sweetheart." His voice was soothing and Elena nodded. She released him and walked him to the living room where Bonnie and Caroline were still sitting in. "I didn't mean to interrupt." He said when he spotted the girls.

"No it's okay." Bonnie said while taking her coat.

"Yeah we needed to go see that thing on the thing anyway." Caroline said hurriedly and took her purse so she and Bonnie could leave. "We'll call you later Lena!" she shouted before closing the door behind her.

"Quite a character that girl." Grayson said with a smile.

"Yes, she is." Elena smiled back at him. "Sit down please, uncle Gray." He took a seat and they stared at each other awkwardly for a few minutes before he decided to talk.

"Your father told me everything Elena and I can't even start to tell you how sorry I am for everything." He took a deep breath and continued. "What they did to you was just awful." Elena nodded slowly. "But there's something you need to know."

"What?" Elena said in a soft whisper.

"I'm not going to justify them, because what they did is unforgivable but maybe what I have to say will make you see the things differently." Elena nodded again and looked deeply into his eyes, she doubted there was something that could make her understand her parents decisions but she wouldn't lose anything by listening.

"When your mother was about 17 she met a boy called Sebastian, she had been dating John for a while but when that kid came around everything in her world became about him." Grayson closed his eyes for a moment as if trying to see everything more clearly. "John of course was devastated but there was nothing he could do about it, your mother was crazy about him, a bad boy, every mother's nightmare." Elena couldn't picture her mother with someone like the boy her uncle was saying, Isobel was always so righteous, so perfect.

"They went out for a few months and then one day he was gone, 'you should never try to tame a bad boy' my mother always said, but this man was not just a bad boy, he was jerk, a horrible person who left Isobel behind when she told him she was pregnant." Grayson's eyes looked deeply at Elena while the wheels started to turn into her head, forcing her to see to the truth.

"Pregnant, with me?" she said softly.

"Yes." Her uncle affirmed what she already knew. "John never stopped loving your mother so he married her and took care of you, he loved you as his own Elena I know that, you are his little girl." Elena's eyes clouded with tears and she could feel the arms of her uncle surrounding her.

"I can't believe this." She muttered between sobs.

"What they did was wrong, but you can understand where your mother's fear was coming from." Grayson said softly. "Of course she should have known better, one look at Damon and you can see that he's crazy about you." A smile appeared on Grayson's lips and Elena's as well.

"I understand that." She said, breaking apart from her uncle. "But that doesn't justify them, they denied me the opportunity of seeing my son grow."

"I know, but maybe now you can find in your heart the strength to forgive them, not today, but maybe someday." He stroked her hand softly. "They love you Elena, and in their own twisted way, they thought they were doing the right thing."

After her uncle left Elena started thinking about the story of her parents and felt incredibly sad, what her mother had gone through was horrible and John, he came back to her even when she left him, he really loved her. She could never forget what they did to her, but as her uncle said maybe someday she could forgive them, nothing was ever going to be the same but they were her parents after all, they loved her and took care of her, it was the least she could do.

* * *

><p>"So you're still not talking to me?" Damon asked with despair in his voice. They had been in this exact position for the last 20 minutes. Backs resting against the couch of the visiting room and their eyes looking straight to the front.<p>

Elena and him had decided that he was going to try and talk with Julian because she really couldn't handle it anymore, this whole situation had been so hard on her and with her health issues he just didn't want to risk it. She had stayed home today as he wanted to try and talk some sense into the kid.

"Julian please, just hear me out that's all I want." He pleaded once again with the blonde kid but he didn't even look at him, a soft smirk appeared on Damon's face, he had Elena's stubbornness there was no doubt about that.

"Fine."

"What?" Damon asked surprised.

"Fine, you can talk. I'll hear." He muttered under his breath.

"Ok then," Damon rubbed his hands on his jeans nervously before speaking again. "I know that the way we dropped this on you was not the right one, but it's just… sometimes I forget you're only 8." A small smile appeared on the man's face. "And I understand that this is confusing to you and of course you would think the worst because, this is a pretty messed up situation…"

Damon took a deep breath and looked straight into the blue eyes of the child in front of him, he could see the fear and vulnerability hiding underneath his mask of indifference, since the moment he met Julian he knew that there was something connecting them, he felt so related to him and now he knew that it was this, Julian was so alike to himself that it was scary, he knew how afraid the kid was right now, how hurt, and all he wanted was to erase all of those bad feelings from him.

"…But don't you think for a even a second that we didn't want you Julian."

"Then why did you give me up?" his voice was a strained whisper and Damon felt his heart break at the sound.

"We didn't. Elena, she loved you like nothing else in the world, you're everything to her but pretty bad things happened and they took you away from her, the greatest pain in her life was losing you Julian." He could see the hesitation on the kid's face, he understood that this was a hard situation for him but he wasn't giving up, he had the chance of reuniting his family right now and this was a chance he wouldn't let go.

"What things?" he let out a sigh of relief at the knowledge that Julian wanted to know more, that he wasn't throwing away his explanation. But the hardest part was coming, how can you explain to an 8 year old this situation? How can you let him know that such horrible people exist in the world?

After a good 30 minutes of going round in circles and mixing words Damon finally explained the whole story to Julian, he saw the kid cringe, tear up and be scared during those minutes and now the kid was sitting closer to him with his tiny hand clapped around his bigger one.

"But why did they do that?" the kid asked referring to Elena's parents.

"Don't know. I guess in their heads they have a pretty good reason, I just fail to understand what it is." He stated sincerely. "You understand now?" Julian nodded slowly, looking at the ground and Damon tightened the hold he hand on his hand. "Elena loved you a lot Julian, she grieved over your death for the last 8 years, and there was no happier moment for her when we found out it was you." Julian lifted his eyes and stared at his father's face deeply. "Don't deny us the chance of being your parents." Damon could hear his own voice breaking and he never wanted to cry so much in his life.

He didn't know what he would do if the kid still said no, he had been so happy about adopting him and then when they found out he was their child he thought nothing could be better and his heart ached with the idea that life could take that chance away from him.

"Julian please." Damon pleaded once again. "You know Elena, you know how good and kind she is, she would have never given you up, she loved you since the moment she knew you were inside of her." A small teardrop fell from Damon's eye, he had lost the chance of being with her during her pregnancy, of hearing his baby's heartbeat, of feeling him kick, seeing his birth and holding him as a baby, now he was just asking for the chance to be with him during the next years of his life. "You know we love you, you can feel it, I know."

"Okay." He murmured under his breath.

"What?" Damon asked surprised.

"Okay, I'll go with you." A small smile appeared on Julian's face and Damon felt his chest almost explode with happiness.

"You're being serious right?"

"As if I would joke about something like that." Damon burst into a fit of laughter and embraced the kid in the tightest of hugs while tears fell from his eyes. "Okay, you're cutting off my oxygen here." Julian murmured against Damon's chest.

"Sorry, sorry." Damon said with a smile while releasing the kid. "Well, let's get your stuff."

"No."

"No?" Damon asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I want to stay here for the night, so I can say goodbye to everyone." Julian said with a smile. "But you can come to pick me up tomorrow DAD." The moment the word left the kid's mouth Damon felt an overwhelming feeling take hold of his body, constricting his chest and he swore time stopped right there.

"What did you just call me?" he asked out of breath.

"You don't like it? I always wanted to call YOU like that." Julian said looking down, embarrassed.

"I love it, I'm your dad Julian and I will always love you." He hugged the kid tightly as tears fell from his eyes once again, dear God today he had cried more than Elena watching a Grey's Anatomy season finale.

"I love you too… Dad."

* * *

><p>She had been pacing the living room for the last 20 minutes, Damon still wasn't home and she was as desperate as someone could be, the talk with her uncle had left her feeling uneasy and she couldn't wait to share it with Damon, and also she wanted to know if he'd made some progress with Julian so the minute she heard the key in the lock she ran to the door to greet him.<p>

"So what happened, tell me now?" Elena said in rushed words and Damon couldn't help but laugh at her. "Don't you laugh at me Damon, tell me." She said, throwing her hands up in the air like a little girl. He loved this side of her, the one who still kept the innocence of a child.

"Well, he talked to me." He stated softly.

"And?" Elena said anxiously while fisting the front of his shirt into her hands.

"Do you have any idea how much this shirt cost?" Damon said mocking her and removed her hands from his shirt. "Treat it nicely please."

"Cut the crap Damon, tell me."

"He's coming tomorrow." He whispered before leaning into her and kissing her softly on the lips.

"Oh my god." Her big brown eyes stared at him dumbstruck. "Are you sure?" she asked still not being able to believe the words coming out of his mouth.

"Yeap." He said with a grin on his face. "He listened to everything I had to say and saw the situation from another perspective."

Elena let out a shriek and jumped him immediately, her legs wrapped around his waist while he span them around the entire house. Her heart was about to explode with happiness, Bonnie was right, everything was coming back where it belonged.

"I guess there's not a single thing you can't do Damon Salvatore." She said once he stopped spinning, her legs were still around him and her brown eyes were looking deeply into his dark blue ones.

"I'll do anything for you, buy you the moon if you want." A smirk appeared on his face and Elena couldn't control her desire anymore. She kissed him with all she had, fusing their mouths together and tasting everything he had to offer, he always knew exactly what she needed.

He pushed her against the wall and started fumbling with her clothes, wanting to feel her skin next to his immediately, the hunger for her was beyond his control, she clouded his mind and made his body tremble with delight.

When he captured one of her nipples in his mouth Elena let out a sharp intake of breath, there was nothing more divine than the feel of his mouth on her body, she could feel the dampness between her legs and knew she wouldn't last long with this torture.

He put her back on the ground so she was able to get rid of his pants and shirt, the minute the clothes hit the floor she ran her hands across his hard chest and delicious abs, his muscles rippled beneath her hands and his eyes were closed in pleasure.

She ran her tongue across his jaw as he pressed their bodies together and started walking towards the bedroom, but they never made it. Elena laced her hands in his hair and forced him to lower himself on the cold ground of the hallway. "I love you." She murmured before lowering herself on him. It never ceased to amaze her how complete she felt when he was inside her, there was no better feeling that his member moving inside her.

His eyes were glued to her; she was a vision on top of him, her hair cascading down her back, her eyes closed and her breasts moving with every thrust he gave. He roamed his hands across her flat stomach and her round breasts; he stroked the nipples between his fingers while she murmured words of love over and over again.

"Elena." He whispered, unable to hold his voice any longer. Despite his efforts, his eyes closed in pleasure, it was all too much, he could feel every termination on his body trembling underneath her, he would never get tired of this feeling. She lowered her head and started nipping and biting softly at his jaw, she didn't understand it but his jaw always turned her on. She knew her climax was close so she threw her head back once again, feeling him grip her hips hard.

When the climax reached them they both saw starts behind their eyelids, Damon sat and held her against his chest as her tremors subsided. "You are mine." He murmured against her hair while she placed soft wet kisses against his neck.

"Only yours my love." She answered while he rocked her softly, she could feel his heart beating against his chest and felt the tiredness taking over her in the comfort of his arms. She was barely aware of him taking them to the bedroom and placing her in the soft bed, a small smile appeared on her lips. Everything in her life was finally alright, there was nothing to fear anymore.


	23. Run with me

**_Well Folks the end is finale here *sobbing* You guys have no idea how much I'm going to miss this story, It's the longest I've written and one of my favorites. I'm so sorry that I took so long with this chapter, but I have finals and the computer of my beta was having some troubles. But it's here now and I really hope you like it. _**

**_Thanks a lot to Amy who corrected this for me, and also all of you for reading this. I would really like to read what you have to say to me, and I'm going to answer all of your reviews, I promise. _**

**_The epilogue is already written and I will upload it in a few days._**

**_I really hope you enjoy this, I put my entire heart in this story._**

**_P.S As you can see I changed my pename to 'LittleMissVixen' I hope there's no confussion with that, It's just that i was watching some re-runs of The O.C and I just remembered how much I love Summer Roberts :) _**

**_Oh and by the way I am the only one who can get 4x08 out of her head? Just freaking loved that episode_**

_**Enough with the talk, here we go** _

* * *

><p><em>There, there, baby<em>_  
><em>_It's just text book stuff__  
><em>_It's in the ABC of growing up__  
><em>_Now, now, darling__  
><em>_Oh don't lose your head__  
><em>_Cause none of us were angels__  
><em>_And you know I love you, yeah_

**Speeding Cars –Imogen Heap-**

.

The Odyssey; that was one of Damon's favorite stories. He always liked the will Odysseus showed, how he fought against everything, even the destiny the gods tried to impose on him, all of it came back to Penelope and how she waited for him through all of it.

Did he believe in destiny? He wasn't quite sure. He liked to believe that Elena was and had been his destiny all along, but then he thought about all the obstacles in their way, how life was always getting in between them, how it seemed like he was never going to be happy.

He never gave up, never. Because in the end it really didn't matter if destiny existed or if he believed in it; he believed in them, in their love. That was the important thing for him.

And now he could say with a smile on his lips that life couldn't beat him.

"Come on baby, you can say it I know." Damon encouraged the baby in his arms. "You know you want to say it." The baby girl squealed and babbled instead.

"Told you, she's not going to say your name first." Caroline said standing behind Damon who was on the couch.

"Of course she will, right Ella? You know you want to say daddy's name." He placed a kiss on top of the baby's nose, she smiled in response and snuggled on her father's chest.

Damon and Elena had adopted Ella a few months ago, she arrived at the orphanage where she worked and the minute she saw her she was in love, she said that it was as if the baby was calling her. Damon loved her from the first moment too, she was his baby girl now and he couldn't be more happy with her.

"Your first word is going to be Care right?" Caroline said taking a seat next to Damon on the couch. The green eyes of Ella looked deeply at the blonde girl and after that she babbled again.

"Nope, her first word is going to be Julian or brother." The blond kid said entering the room. He was wearing a blue hoodie and jeans with white sneakers. "She loves me more." The kid placed a kiss on top of the baby's head and she smiled at her brother.

"Are you ready kiddo?" Damon asked looking at his son.

"Yes, Lily is coming." He said with a proud smile.

"Well done." Damon answered equally proud while Caroline just rolled her eyes. There was no doubt Julian was his son.

Today they were celebrating Julian's tenth birthday, they had been an official family for the last two years. It was the first time the kid had an actual birthday party since the last year they decided to go on a trip to Dublin. Damon and Elena married there in a small ceremony, just the three of them. Of course when they came back Caroline stalked them until they threw a much bigger party for all their family and friends.

"You have no idea how much traffic there is at this time of the day." Alaric muttered entering the living room with Jenna and their son behind them. Jason was three months old and the couple were just enchanted with him.

"Happy Birthday Julian!" Jenna said excitedly while giving him a hug and handing him his present. The kid thanked her and placed a kiss on her cheek. Damon observed the scene quietly and smiled softly. Everyone loved Julian and had accepted him into their home, it was like none of the things that had happened in the past mattered anymore. He finally had the family he'd dreamed of.

"Julian where is your mom?" Damon asked with a frown. He hadn't seen Elena in the last hour, she had been going around like a maniac the whole day with the party arrangements but now she was nowhere to be seen.

"She was in her room, I think she was a bit tired." The kid answered in response.

"I'll go check on her." Damon said standing up and handing the baby to Caroline. The bell rang and Julian ran to the door saying that it was probably Lily that had arrived already.

"Oh by the way blondie, Stefan is coming." Damon said to Caroline, the blonde girl smiled softly. "With Lexie"

"Yeah, I kind of figured they would be here." She answered softly.

"And you're okay with it?" Jenna answered from the other couch while Alaric played with the baby in his arms, not really paying attention to the conversation.

"Yeah, it's been two years now." She smiled but there was a trace of sadness in her blue eyes. "Plus I'm with Klaus now." They had been dating for the last six months, he was handsome, polite, sweet, every girls dream and she was really happy with him.

Damon nodded softly and gave her a sad smile. "I just wanted to warn you." Things between his brother and him were better now, they had talked and decided that the most important thing was to save their relationship. Now the three of them could be together in a room without it being awkward, Julian had learned to love Stefan as his uncle and he and Elena were good friends now.

He had met Lexie last year and was pretty happy with her, Damon could tell his brother was in love and that made him really happy as well.

"Lena..." He murmured softly while entering their room but Elena was nowhere to be seen. Damon was about to leave the room when he heard the soft sound of sobbing coming out of the closet. He walked quietly towards it and opened the door to reveal Elena sitting there, her knees against her chest and her eyes red and puffy from crying. "What's wrong?" he asked worriedly and kneeled in front of her.

"Damon-" She whispered between sobs. He let his body slump on the floor and held her in his arms, rocking her softly while he placed kisses on top of her head.

"Lena are you going to tell me what's wrong?" he asked softly against her head while she tightened her grip on him. "Please."

"Damon…I'm pregnant" The words left her lips in a gentle whisper and he felt his chest constrict with happiness. A baby. He knew they both had been secretly praying for this, not that he didn't love Ella and he would never make distinction between their children but there was nothing that he wanted more than seeing Elena carrying his child. He missed that chance the first time around.

This was the miracle that they had been waiting for. Then why was she so sad?

"Princess, this is what we've been waiting for." He heard her sobbing harder against his chest. "Why are you not happy with it?" he asked with concern in his voice. She didn't want to have a baby with him?

"I'm happy with it Damon." Her voice was muffled against his chest. "But I'm scared." Damon released her even against her will and took her face between his hands.

"Scared of what?" his baby blues looked deeply into her chocolate eyes.

"Of losing it."

Elena was terrified. When she found out she was pregnant the happiness invaded her body but was suddenly over taken with fear. When she thought Julian had died 10 years ago it was like her heart had been ripped out of her chest, nothing had hurt more than that and she knew that she couldn't go through that again, she wouldn't stand it.

She could still remember how lost and broken she felt for the months after it, how nothing in her life made sense.

"Elena you're not going to lose it." He said in a soothing manner. "I'm here for you, I'll take care of you." He caressed her cheek with her bottom lip and she leaned into his touch.

"But the doctor Damon, he said-" Elena let out another sob. "Even if I get pregnant there's a chance that I will lose it, he said I can't have another baby."

"Sweetheart-" Damon started but Elena cut him off immediately.

"What? Are you going to say that the doctor was wrong?!" Elena said exasperated. She didn't want to have this conversation, she couldn't get excited with the idea of a child only for it to be taken away from her again.

"Yes." Damon answered with conviction in his voice. "Elena we've been through so much together. Evil parents, evil friends, fear, sadness, hell we've fought destiny himself and we survived." His blue eyes looked deeply at her. "Are you seriously letting a doctor lay odds on us?" Elena didn't say anything just stared at him back. "Baby, I think we proved that we can go against everything, because we're together."

"But what if-"

"Hush" He placed a soft kiss on her lips. "We are going to be happy and thankful about this pregnancy. We're going to take precautions and I'm going to spoil you rotten." She couldn't help but smile at him. "And we're going to wait for the best." He took her in his arms once again just this time she wasn't sobbing. "And if you lose it, I'm not letting you crumble down, you have me to support you. And hey, we can always adopt more babies. I was thinking maybe three more."

"Three more?!" Elena laughed at his words. "Are you crazy, what are going to do with five children?!"

"A football team." A big smile was plastered on his face.

"No way, it's a lot."

"Well actually that's a pretty small football team."

"I love you." Her voice was full of emotion and Damon couldn't help but feel blessed. Never in a million years had he thought this would be his life. He had everything he'd ever dreamed of, that was something that didn't happen very often, especially to him. That was the moment when he realized that dreams do come true.

"I love you too."

* * *

><p><em>.<em>

Caroline was putting the final touches on the candy bags they would give to Julian's guests in the kitchen, the party was already in full swing and everyone was having the time of their lives. Julian was playing with the kids in the garden and Damon, Alaric and Jeremy were being children themselves while playing Rock Band.

She couldn't help but smile. Everything was where it belonged now. She felt a pair of arms surround her from behind as the gentle voice of her boyfriend whispered in her ear.

"You look adorable while doing this, love." She loved Klaus' British accent, it sent chills down her spine every time he spoke that way.

"Well it's not like I'm doing that much." She answered teasingly while he placed a soft kiss onto her neck.

"But still you do it wonderfully." He murmured against her neck and Caroline couldn't help but blush at his words. She turned around and he placed his lips on hers, her hands flew instinctively to his hair while his were placed on her hips.

She was happy with Klaus she really was. After two years she could finally say that all the heartache and pain was behind her. His tongue caressed hers softly and she couldn't help but moan into his mouth.

"Hey, hey keep it PG, it's my son's party." Said Elena while entering the kitchen. Klaus blushed a little bit and broke apart from his girlfriend.

"Oh please, like you and Damon can talk." The blonde girl teased her friend who only shook her head and poured soda in a glass.

"Come on Klaus we need you to team up!" shouted Jeremy from the living room and both girls laughed at how childish the boys could be sometimes. Klaus gave a soft kiss to Caroline's forehead and went to the living room to play with the guys. He had fitted into their little world just perfectly and Caroline couldn't be more happy about it.

Caroline resumed her work with the candy bags while Elena drank her soda in silence, after a few moments both of them heard the front door and then the voice Caroline had missed for the last two years.

"Stefan is here." Elena said in a whisper.

"Yeah." Caroline answered absently.

"You going to be okay?" the brunette girl said getting closer to her friend.

"Yes Lena, I'll be fine."

Caroline was sure that she was over Stefan by now, Klaus made her really happy and she didn't feel the same pain than before, but then, she hadn't seen Stefan for the last two years and hearing his voice now brought so many memories back to her. He wasn't just the boy she loved; he also used to be her best friend and it made her so sad that they had come to this.

Elena left the room after giving her a light squeeze on the shoulder. She felt his presence behind her even before he spoke, she was always going to be connected to him.

"Hi." The sound of his voice behind her was enough to bring tears to her eyes but she fought them. She couldn't let anyone see her cry right now.

"Hi." She answered back before turning and meeting his deep eyes.

He was gorgeous; her memories didn't do him any justice. There was still that boyish charm that made her fall in love with him but he looked older now, stronger.

"How are you?" he asked softly. He knew that he was asking a stupid question but he was very nervous, seeing Caroline after so long was a big thing for him.

"Good, good." Caroline answered with a forced smile. "What about you?"

"I'm doing pretty well." He smiled back at her. "I'm moving back here for good." Caroline felt the air leave her lungs. That meant she was doomed to meet with him more often now.

"That's great, really." They looked at each other in silence for a few minutes. She never excepted her meeting with Stefan to be so awkward and that broke her heart in a thousand pieces, that proved that things were never going to be the same between them, they were no longer the same people from two years ago.

"Caroline-" Stefan started and took a deep breath before continuing. "I really hope we can try to be friends once again." She knew he was being honest, it was very clear in his voice, but she knew things were never going back to the way they were, but even so she couldn't help but lie to him.

"Of course Stefan, I hope that too. I know we can be friends again." She smiled at him while forcing the tears to stand behind her eyes.

"Stefan! Where are you?" a female voice asked and Caroline was sure that the voice belonged to Lexie, his girlfriend.

"I'm coming!" he shouted without taking his eyes off the girl in front of him. "Coming." He looked at her and gave her a sad smile before leaving; Caroline was able to see the nostalgia behind his eyes because deep down inside he knew that she had lied to him.

* * *

><p>The party was completely fantastic, Julian had been so happy and enjoyed every moment of it and of course that made Elena ecstatic. She had dreamed of this moment for so long. She couldn't help but smile, Julian had enjoyed his day, she had a beautiful daughter, friends that loved her, and she was slowly talking with her parents again, even though things were never going to be the same between them, she was trying to work things out. And of course, she had Damon's love and that was the thing that made her stronger, her life was definitely good. She caressed her stomach softly, this baby was going to live, she would make sure of it.<p>

She took a deep breath and opened the door to her son's room, he was already tucked in the bed, tired after the long day he'd had.

"Hello kiddo." Julian smiled at her and she took a seat next to him on his bed. "You have fun today?"

"Yes, everything was just perfect." He chirped happily. Elena smoothed the hair off of his forehead and gave him a soft kiss on the head.

"I'm glad. I guess you don't want me to sing to you anymore?" she asked with nostalgia in her voice. She remembered the first day she saw him, when she entered the orphanage, she had loved him since that very first moment.

"I love hearing you sing mom, but I'm a big boy now." He said seriously and Elena couldn't help but laugh at how alike to Damon he was. He was stubborn like her but everything else was his father.

"Well I'll let you sleep then." She smiled and placed another kiss on his head before getting up from the bed and walking towards the door.

"Hey mom." Elena turned around to see her son, it would never stop amazing her how wonderful it felt when he called her mom. "I love you." Julian said with a smile on his lips.

"I love you too kiddo." She answered with a smile as well before opening the door and leaving the bedroom.

She filled a glass of water in the kitchen and drank deeply; once she was finished she felt the strong arms of her husband embracing her from behind.

"She asleep?" she asked throwing her head back so she was able to stare into his face.

"Like an angel."

"I still can't believe she can only sleep in your arms." Elena said with a smile.

"She loves me." He murmured before biting softly onto her earlobe.

"I'm going to start getting jealous; she's getting all of your attention." She joked with him.

"Oh you don't have to." He whispered against her ear. "My attention is only yours."

"It's all right I can share." She whispered, closing her eyes while goosebumps appeared on her skin at the feel of his breath. "I just can't help but feel possessive."

"You're the one for me."

"I hope you made sure Andie knows that." Elena muttered back.

"I knew you were going to say something about that." He let out a sigh and tightened his hold on her.

"Come on she was drooling all over you today." She said while intertwining their fingers together.

"Well she can drool all she wants." He spun her around so she was now facing him. "There is only one woman I drool for."

"Is that so?" she said with a wicked grin on her face. "Who's she?"

"I think you may know her." His eyes sparkled mischievously. "A beautiful brunette with brown doe eyes and a pair of killer legs."

"Nope, I don't think I've ever met her." She said softly before placing a light kiss on his neck.

"Oh I think you have." He ran his tongue lightly against her ear. "She looks a lot like you." He said before taking her lips in a searing kiss and lifting her so she would wrap her legs around his waist.

"My dear husband would you do me a favor?" she asked softly.

"Anything my beautiful wife." She felt herself trembling under his smoldering gaze.

"Make love to me."

"That would be my pleasure." He kissed her softly before carrying her towards their bedroom.

Destiny tried to separate them so many times, but here they were, together at last. There was nothing more strong than human will, in the end the obstacles they faced along the way didn't really matter because they would always find their way back to each other, just like Odysseus and Penelope did.

Their love was stronger than fate, destiny, whatever you want to call it.

This kind of love is not seen very often.

It's the kind of love that can shake the whole world.

_._

_Here's the day you hoped would never come _

_Don't feed me violins_

_Just run with me Through rows of speeding cars_

* * *

><p><strong><em>So? Pretty pretty please leave me a review<em>**


	24. Epilogue

**_So, here it is Folks. The end is finally here, I really hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writting it._**

**_Please, let me know what you think_**

**_Thank thank you a lot to everyone who read this and who supported me trough of all these time, you guys are awsome!_**

**_You won't be hearing from me again till next year, so Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!_**

**_Also I want to thank Amy for being an awsome beta, I wouldn't be able to do this without her._**

_**Here we go, One last time**_

* * *

><p><em>'The mean reds are horrible. <em>

_Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of._

_Do you ever get that feeling? '_

**_'Sure. '_**

_'Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Tiffany's. _

_Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it;_

_Nothing very bad could happen to you there. _

_If I could find a real-life place that'd make me feel like Tiffany's, then- _

_Then I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name'_

**_Breakfast at Tiffany's _**

_._

_._

"Elena are you ready?" Damon shouted while closing the door behind him.

"Just a minute!" she shouted back from somewhere in the house.

"Told you she wouldn't be ready." His twelve year old son answered next to him, Damon grinned at him and messed up his hair, it had grew a bit darker over the years so now it was of a light brown color. "Hey, you know how long it took Jenna to fix my hair?" the kid said stepping away from his father.

"Oh you're such a girl." Damon answered back.

"Ginny is going to be there, I have to look good." Julian answered in defense.

"So it's Ginny now huh?" Damon said shaking his head, there was absolutely no doubt that he was his child, and he couldn't be more proud about his early womanizing acts even when Elena hated them.

"You do realize that you're the bridesmaid right?" Damon yelled once he realized Elena was not coming out anytime soon.

"Well this is your fault!" she shouted and he could hear her voice coming closer. "You knocked me up and now I'm stuck with these two who just don't let me dress them in peace." She stepped into the living room holding the twins she had a little over a year ago.

"Oh there's my beautiful babies." Damon cooed in a soft voice and took Killian in his arms, the baby squealed and touched his cheek softly. "Don't listen to your mom, I'm sure you're being an angel." He said before placing a kiss on his chubby cheek and placing him in the double stroller.

"Yeah right, you say that because you weren't there." Elena muttered while placing Khloe in the stroller next to her brother. "You two just ran away and left me with all the work." She said pointing her finger towards Damon and Julian.

"Mom, we were on serious wedding duty." Julian said in a serious voice.

"Oh yeah right." She muttered back.

"Daddy, daddy!" Ella shouted and came stumbling towards Damon who immediately lifted her up and twirled her around in his arms.

"Aren't you beautiful?" he said while looking at her in her white dress with her curls falling against her shoulders.

"Like momma." She answered.

"Yeah, just like her." Damon said while looking adoringly at Elena who gave him a warm smile.

"Okay, we all ready?" she said looking around the house. They had bought a new bigger house after they found out they were having twins, Damon's apartment couldn't hold all of them anymore.

"Yes, we are. Now let's go." Damon said clapping his hands softly. He would never admit this out loud, but he was damn excited about this wedding.

"GiGi." Ella murmured, referring to the pink elephant she carried around all the time.

"Where is Gigi?" Elena said to the baby girl softly.

"Upstairs." The toddler answered with a trembling lip. The idea of going somewhere without the stuffed animal was unbearable to her.

"Then let's find it." Elena said softly before pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"I'll go with her." Julian said and took Ella's little hand and Elena watched them marveled as they walked away, this was her little family, well not so little anymore.

"We made it good right?" she heard Damon's voice from behind and then she felt him wrap his strong arms around her waist.

"Yes we did." She threw her head back and rested it against his shoulder.

"They drive us crazy most of the time, but aren't they adorable?" he murmured against her ear. "I mean just look at the twins." Elena turned her head to the side and stared at the two beautiful children who lay comfortably in the stroller.

She had been scared to death during the entire pregnancy, even when Damon tried to calm her and make her feel good, she couldn't help the fear that gripped her tightly. But when she looked at them for the first time she knew everything was worth it, nobody was taking them away from her, this time around she looked after them as they opened their eyes for the first time.

She smiled softly as the two pairs of blue eyes stared back at her.

"We couldn't just make one that looked a little bit like me right?" she reproached him teasingly. "Was it that hard?"

"Well baby the reason they look so alike to me is because you're crazy about your sexy husband." He whispered before biting her earlobe softly.

"Haha very funny." She answered back. "But you may be right about that." She laced their fingers together and purred softly as he started running his nose down her neck.

"But if you want one that looks like you we can always try for some more."

"No way, four is enough."

"But Elena-"

"You are not knocking me up again." She said, releasing herself from his embrace and looking into his blue eyes with a smile on her lips.

"Fine, but we can adopt another one." He said giving her puppy eyes.

"No way, Damon we have our hands full with these four."

"But I want one more." He said with a pout on his lips.

"Nope."

"Oh I'll convince you later." He said, shrugging and giving her a soft kiss on the lips.

"We're back." Julian announced entering the living room with Ella and the pink animal in her arms.

"Then let's go." Damon said while Elena took her purse and the twins' bag. He took the stroller and Julian had Ella's hand safely in his; he was such a good brother, his parents felt more proud of him with every day that passed.

And so the family left for the oh so expected wedding.

* * *

><p>"Ready?" Elena asked, entering into the room Caroline was in.<p>

"I think so." The blonde girl answered with a small smile. "God I've never been more nervous in my entire life." She muttered. "Not even at the Miss Mystic Falls Pagent."

"You'll be fine."

"I can't believe this day is finally here." Caroline said to her best friend with unshed tears in her eyes.

"I know." Elena answered with a smile and walked towards her. "I'm so happy for you, this is the day that you've been dreaming of." She took her hands and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Ready?"

"Yeah, Let's go."

As the church doors opened and some soft music started playing in the back ground Bonnie walked graciously down the aisle, Elena followed her, the pink dress she wore was flowing around her and her curls fell graciously on her back. She turned her head to the side and saw Ric and Jenna sitting with her kids and Damon, she winked at him with a smile on her lips as he smirked back at her, God her husband was gorgeous.

She stood in the aisle and gave a warm smile to the groom who returned the smile nervously, then the wedding march began and they all fixed their eyes to the front to see the bride.

Caroline floated down the aisle with her princess cut Vera Wang and she couldn't look more beautiful, Elena then saw the look of adoration Stefan was giving his bride and smiled softly. After all this time and the heartache they did find their way back to each other.

The minute Caroline's eyes found Stefan's she knew she was in the right place, there was nothing to be nervous about. She was where she belonged. She loved Klaus, she really did. There was a time when she actually thought she was going to be happy with him, but Stefan was always at the back of her mind and her heart and even when she did her best to forget him he always came back, because in the end the one true love of her life would always be Stefan, and now here they were, making this dream come true.

It was a lovely ceremony, Caroline shed more than a few tears when Stefan read his vows and Elena did it as well when it was her friends turn to read them. You could see the love shining between the two lovers, it was a happy day, the happiest day of their lives.

.

.

The party was in full swing, Caroline and Stefan were really enjoying themselves and everyone around them seemed to be just happy, of course nothing could be more contagious than Caroline's excitement.

Elena looked around the room and saw her twelve year old boy flirting with Caroline's little cousin Ginny and rolled her eyes, could he be more alike to his father? She kissed the dark hair of the baby in her arms and smiled when she spotted Alaric and Jenna trying to dance with Ella and their child on the dance floor, it was quite a sight to see.

"Dance with me Mrs. Salvatore?" the husky voice of her husband made her look up and she found him staring at her with loving eyes.

"I would love to Mr. Salvatore but I think your son may get a little jealous." She said in a hushed tone and Damon couldn't help but smile at her.

"Oh I think he'll be fine, right buddy?" Damon said kneeling to be eye level with his younger son, the baby squealed in his mother's arms and touched Damon's chin softly.

"Dadda." He said before starting to babble things that none of his parents could really understand.

"See, he's giving me permission." Damon said proudly.

"Yeah right." Elena said with a small smile and kissed her son's cheek softly. Damon took the baby in his arms and stoop up.

"Baby Gilbert would you mind?" he said motioning for Jeremy to hold the baby.

"Of course not, come here buddy." Jeremy extended his arms and Damon placed Killian there, the baby's blue eyes never leaving him out of sight.

"Now let's go Mrs. Salvatore." He extended his hand to Elena who accepted it happily and stood up from her chair, before leaving they heard their baby girl babble behind them.

"Dadda, Dadda." Khloe repeated a few times.

"Oh I know princess." Damon said bending down and kissing his daughter's cheek softly. "But don't worry your mom and I won't take long, I wouldn't leave you with judgy for that long."

"Damon!" both Elena and Bonnie chided him.

"What?!" he said nonchalantly.

"You're an ass." Bonnie muttered.

"Watch your language." Damon said with a smirk. "You're holding my daughter." Bonnie rolled her eyes at him and returned her attention to the baby in her arms and the man next to her. She had been engaged to Jeremy for a few weeks and everyone was just waiting for them to decide the date for the wedding.

Elena placed her head against Damon's chest as the music enveloped them softly; she loved the moments like these when she felt so connected to him, like they were sharing the same soul. His hand traced small circles on her waist and she relaxed at his touch immediately.

The moment was pure magic, Elena couldn't feel happier. Caroline being the romantic she was had picked up the whole music personlly and now the couple was dancing to Elena's favorite movie soundtrack ever. As 'Moon River' flowed between them Damon was sure that everything in his life was perfect.

After a few moments of slowly dancing in silence, just enjoying each other's presence Damon started to feel the need overtake his body, just like it did every time he was this close with his wife.

He took her hand and started dragging her softly across the room. "What are you doing?" she asked once he started speeding up to the entry.

"We are going to have slutty wedding sex."

"What?!"

"You heard me, I just need you right now." He said with desperation in his voice. They arrived at the bathroom and he looked inside to make sure there was no one in there, once he was sure he dragged her and locked the door behind them.

"You are out your mind." Elena scolded him softly.

"Come on baby, I need you." He pouted. "Let's have slutty wedding sex."

"I am a mother of four; I can't have slutty wedding sex."

"That didn't stop you from having slutty kitchen sex with me last night." Damon said with a smirk on his lips remembering how good that was while Elena blushed a deep crimson.

"But in a bathroom? At Caroline's wedding?"

"Oh we've done it in worst places." Damon reasoned with her before giving her a soft languid kiss that left her melting into the ground. "Come on baby."

"Fine." That kiss did it for her, there was no way in the world that she could resist Damon Salvatore.

He picked her up and placed her on the sink before lifting her dress and stroking her against her panties. "For someone who didn't want this you're awfully wet babe." He whispered against her chest while his finger went inside her underwear and started stroking her softly.

"Well it's your fault, you make me so horny." Elena said trying to catch her breath while her eyes were closing from the immense pleasure he was giving her.

"Only me." He whispered against her chest as he kissed her breast through the material of her dress.

"Just you." She answered back. He took his thumbs on the lace of her panties and slowly removed them before putting them in his pocket.

"You are going to love this." He said before sinking into her. Every centimeter of him went in slowly and Elena enjoyed every single one of them, there was no more amazing feeling than Damon's length completely inside her. His lips devoured hers as he started rocking them hard against the bathroom sink.

It was hard, fast, dirty, sweaty and they both loved every minute of it.

* * *

><p>"Is he asleep?" Elena asked from the couch when she spotted her husband walking into the living room where she was<p>

"Yes, finally." Damon said letting out a sigh. "I had to sing to him like three times."

"I can't believe he can only sleep when you're holding him" Elena said with a smile on her face. It amazed her how good Damon was at this whole parenting thing, he loved their children like nothing else and that made her extremely happy "All of our children love your damn arms"

"Oh you love them too"

He took of his shoes and sat down on the couch with his back against it while his feet were on top of the table.

"It was a good wedding." He said while kinking his eyebrows at her.

"Yeah it was." Elena answered with a devilish smile, she moved closer to him and put her legs on top of his lap and he started rubbing them softly.

It was a good life the one they shared, it wasn't perfect of course, they fight and yell at each other and there were moments when she wanted to disappear and never see him again but that didn't last long, because she couldn't be five minutes away from him, the memories of the time that they were apart always caused a sting in her heart even after all these years, she needed him like she needed air.

She had confronted her mother about lying to her on the identity of her birth father a few years ago, and they had started to try and sort things out, she talked to them once in a while but things were never remotely close to the way they used to be.

But even with all the ups and downs in her life she wouldn't change it for anything, she was as happy as someone could be.

"Penny for your thoughts. She asked in a small voice when she saw him zone out on her.

"I was thinking." He said before taking a deep breath. "We have a pretty good life." She smiled softly because that was what was in her mind as well.

"Yes we do Damon." She moved a bit closer and rested her head against his chest while he surrounded her with his arm.

"I wake up sometimes at night and I'm scared." She could feel his voice shaking from the force of his emotion.

"Scared of what?"

"Of everything." He whispered softly. "Good things never stay with me and I just keep waiting for all this to crumble down, to realize that I've been dreaming all along." Elena could feel the loud thud of his heart and hear the panic appear in his voice.

"Damon..." She released herself and looked at him straight in the eye. "You don't have to be scared my love." Elena stroked his cheek softly. "This is your life, you earned it, you're a good man who fought hard for what he wanted, you deserve all of this." His lips turned into a half smile and then he kissed her lips softly.

"How can you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Make me feel better with just one look." She rested her head on his chest once again while he embraced her tightly. "You look at me and suddenly I feel safe, somehow I know that nothing can go wrong if you keep looking at me like that."

"Well it's the same feeling I get when you look at me Damon." She murmured against his chest. "You are my safe place, every time that I get scared or insecure I just have to go to you and I know everything will be fine."

"Yeah I know the feeling." He pressed a soft kiss against her head and inhaled in her scent. "It was the feeling I got from the first moment I saw you on my porch the summer of 2002." She smiled remembering their first meeting, she had loved him since that moment. "When those doe eyes stared at me I felt at home for the first time in my life."

During the first months after they finally got back together Damon still remained somehow bitter about everything that happened back then, about the time that was taken away from them, the opportunities, the joy but he didn't feel that way anymore. He realized now that none of it mattered anymore because they were finally together. So now he looked back to those days and smiled because that was when the most amazing journey of his life begun.

"It feels like another life time right?" Elena said absently. She felt so far away from the girl she used to be back then but at the same time extremely connected to her.

"Yeah, sometimes I wonder if the kid I was back then would feel proud of the man I am today." He said while rubbing her arms softly.

"Of course he would." Elena answered without hesitation. "How could he not?"

"I love you Elena, I feel like I've loved you every moment of my life." She lifted her head and stared at him underneath her lashes. "Even when I didn't know you." He placed a soft kiss to her lips as she pressed her hand against his chest just above his heart.

"And I love you Damon." She said before returning to her original position curled around him. "Always have and always will." She closed her eyes as he stroked her arms lightly while singing softly to her.

_Two drifters, off to see the world There's such a lot of world to see _

_We're after the same rainbow's end, waiting, round the bend _

_My Huckleberry Friend, Moon River, and me__._

* * *

><p><strong><em>THANK YOU! 3<em>**


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